In NDE discovered light "threaded" through her life

I was in a car, with my family, on a trip in India, when suddenly there was a commotion. There was a sound of the car going off road, and I could see both my brothers, the one who was sitting in the back and the one in the front, jumping and trying to catch the wheel. The car was tumbling down the mountain.

The circumstances in the car were in the back of my awareness. In the front of my awareness, I heard a masculine, comforting voice say several times slowly, ‘It is all okay’. Part of the meaning of this in Hebrew is, ‘everything is in order’. Surprisingly, I was experiencing absolute peace and I felt no fear. As the car was tumbling down the mountain, turning and bumping against the hard surfaces, the voice calmly said, ‘Roll with it’, as if it was just a movement exercise. Feeling absolute peace, I let myself roll.

The voice came as if from inside of my head but at the same time ‘It’ wasn’t ‘me’. It was very comforting, stable and strong. I did not recognize the voice but I connected to it very deeply, and knew I could trust it with all my heart. As I was ‘rolling’ with every tumble, I suddenly wasn’t in the car anymore. I experienced complete trust. I was surrounded with space, as I saw my whole life unfolding. I was watching millions of the pictures of my life’s events, like a movie broken down into picture frames. All the little deeds, thoughts and moments upon moments, even the ones I forgot ever happened, they were all there. It was such a fascinating sight. The most curious thing was that the pictures were not connected to one another; they had a gap between them that looked like a string of light. It looked like they were threaded upon this string of light.

My main feelings were equanimity, awe and curiosity. There was a strong quality of inquiry and inquisitiveness as I was examining everything. Every time a question came to me, the answer was immediately revealed. This unfolding of pictures and gaps developed and progressed continuously, presenting a constant delicate consequential line, in perfect order, a chain of events, yet somehow they were all happening at once. The past the present and the future were all happening at once. It was inspiring to witness the order and sense that all these little pictures seemed to have in ‘the big picture’.

I felt a lot of compassion. I was all forgiven. In fact, there was nothing to forgive. I could see that my life had ‘perfect order’ to it. In some way it was like watching a mathematical equation, or sum, that makes perfect sense. Such event and such event create this kind of result. It was a simple portrayal of natural cause and effect, with a gentle understanding. There was no judgment, only innocence. As I was watching this linear unfolding of pictures, I realized that just by looking and focusing on a specific picture, ‘zooming in’ on it, I could also ‘enter’ that scene and then come back out of it, ‘zoom out’ and return to my place of observation.

I looked back at my childhood. I could enter pictures there. From each picture, moment or thought, there was always the possibility to access that light that separated between it and the next picture. I could also see all the thoughts I had all my life. Their ‘pictures’ were as strong as the pictures that depicted action or words. I was amazed to see that our thoughts are that strong, so real. It looked as though they were also threaded on a string of light. I realized that everything that happened to me and every single thought I had, created an imprint. Every single event or thought influenced my life and the lives of those around me. Every feeling, every intention, every time I was aware of the light and gap between the pictures, everything counted. As I looked, I felt very peaceful. I could see how the last moment of my life was a result of everything that had ever happened to me, before. I could see my life was a perfect manifestation of just what it was, who I was. There was complete acceptance, even of those moments that I remembered as less pleasant.

My life, all our lives were threaded with this light that filled the gap between each picture. In the moments that we are open to it, we connect with it. It is that simple. It is there always. The last moment or picture of my life was I, rolling down the mountain in a car, with my mother, my brothers and the driver. I was suddenly inside that picture again. I could see how we are all connected. I was connected to everybody in a multi-faceted light web, a DNA-like hologram that was in perfect order. Everything connected to everything with delicate threads of light, which were the gaps between each moment. It showed my connection to other people, other souls, other incidents, moments past future and present. There was complete order and complete acceptance of everything. Then, there were no more pictures, but a strong sense of motion forwards.

I now was continuing onwards, I felt that I was leaping forward. There was nothing around me. There was only space. I tried to understand where I was. I felt very clear in my mind. I also felt happy and light. I was in another realm. Somehow, I was still alive but I didn’t have my body. I know for a fact that I am, that I exist. I sensed that I had left my body. I reflected upon the last picture I saw in my thread of life, of myself inside the car that was rolling down a mountain, and concluded it must have been the last moment of my life in a fatal car accident.

I now realized and understood that there was life after death; I have died and left my body, yet I still exist. I tried to understand where I was. I was in a transition. All I could notice different from before, besides not having a body, was that the air, or the space, was of a slightly different consistency and shade. I reflected on how this whole transition between life and death, is very smooth and calm. It became clear to me that death is the continuation of life, and not the opposite of it. It was on going. I felt vibrant like a child, very curious to see what was next, looking at everything with new eyes.

Next, I felt myself emerging out of a vacuum-like blackness. I had immense speed. I had no body but my spirit had eyes. Around me was a scenery like earth, I thought. There were trees and rocks; we were on a mountainside. I say ‘we’ because after traveling for a while swiftly through this scenery, I could see myself, my body, sitting on the mountain’s edge. I was leaning forward towards the abyss. I joined my body to see what was going on, and found myself looking at this immense light. It was amazing. I recognized the light from meditation experiences I had: moments of insight, spiritual experiences, and strong experiences of unconditional love. Actually, I realized this light was threaded inside every moment of my life and I have always, always known it and had access to it. I felt deep intimacy and powerful love, a great surrender, relief and joy.

From what I have seen, our lives were threaded with this light, which fills the gap between each moment. At each moment, every situation, and every thought: the light is always available to us. If we’re aware that it’s there, we can remind ourselves to call on it: To connect to it. I was now sitting near this light, near the source of it. I had never felt it so strongly. It was everything. Everything I have ever needed everything I need or everything I might ever need in the future. Everything was in this light. It was warm. It had an immense healing and nourishing quality to it. It was pure, immense, powerful unconditional Love. I knew I could trust this light. I was kneeling in front of this light. All I could feel was a great yearning to be part of it. I was aware of being presented with a choice. With gratitude, I decide that I must emerge with this light. I know that I do not want to choose anything different. I smiled a big smile and jumped. For one eternal moment, I was one with it.

The next moment I saw my body lying down on the ground and felt like I was ‘entering’ it. I came back to life. I understood that somehow I’m back in life. I felt quite surprised since I didn't think I made that choice. The first thing I realized was that I cannot breathe. The voice that was with me at the beginning of my experience, came again, and said, ‘contract your diaphragm.’ I did forcefully and that's how I started to breathe. Then I began to feel my senses, there was a terrible taste in my mouth like dirt, and a horrible smell in the air, that was filled with gasoline and smoke.

For the next hour, many interesting things happened. I think that because of the NDE, a different window of perception has suddenly opened in my awareness. It was as if that window took some time to close. For a while, even though I was back ‘here’ in my body, I could get glimpses from that ‘other’ realm. I can in all honesty say that my NDE was the most powerful, insightful and joyous experience I had ever had. 

NDERF.org, # 7153