In January of 2014, I experienced some things
that promised to change my life forever. These experiences went from
horribly terrifying and painful, to profoundly beautiful and
soul-stirring; all within the space of a few days. On the morning of
January 3, 2014, while riding my bicycle here in town, I was struck
broadside by a truck. My injuries were so severe that I am still in
recovery from some of them. By all accounts of the doctors who treated
me, I shouldn't have lived. 'Most people die from injuries like yours,'
my surgeon and primary care physician insist. They were right. I
shouldn't have lived. In fact, I came very close to death twice during
those first few days. During those brushes with death, I had two
Near-Death Experiences (NDEs) that promised to change the way I look at
life, the way I experience life, and the way I feel about the concepts
of God and Spirit.
My first near-death experience happened when the truck initially
struck me. In human time, this NDE lasted just a few minutes. As I was
struck, I realized that my consciousness was in two places
simultaneously. One part, very scared and animal-like, was firmly inside
of my broken body that was stuck on the vehicle's axle and being
dragged under the truck. The other part, a very calm, dispassionate
observer, hovered out in front of the truck and off to the south,
watching the whole scene unfold from a distance. This dual
consciousness seemed quite normal to the observer part of me. The
observer was calm about the whole thing, and I remember the feeling that
this was all happening for a reason, that there was nothing to fear.
The observer: me, watched as witnesses stopped, called for help, and as
the paramedics arrived. When the paramedics started working on me, my
two selves came back together. Once I was stabilized enough to move,
they transported me to the nearest trauma hospital. It turned out that
my head and spinal injuries were so severe that I'd need surgery. My
lower spine would need reconstruction, but only after the bleeding in my
brain stabilized. In the meantime, the trauma team admitted me to the
intensive care unit (ICU). I pondered that initial split-consciousness
experience for a few days in ICU while I awaited surgery. I had no
explanation for being in two places at the same time, or for
experiencing the accident from two different vantage points at once. In
my scientific mind, I didn't know how consciousness could split apart
with one part of me traveling outside of the body. Finally, I dismissed
it as just an oddity of the crash and almost dying. It wasn't important,
and it most certainly wasn't 'real.' Or so I thought.
Perhaps
because the first experience wasn't enough to get me thinking about
spiritual matters, three days later during surgery, I was pulled right
into the thick of things. I had another NDE but this one was different.
Instead of simply experiencing events unfold from outside of my body, my
consciousness was ultimately brought to a place unlike anything I have
ever experienced. The beauty and utter peace of the Place defies human
words. I felt totally calm, loved, and whole. I also felt a deep,
profound sense of LOVE permeating everything there. It was big love, as
if the structure of this place was somehow made of love. Love was
everywhere because there was nowhere that wasn't love. I can't explain
it any further than that. I, already, never wanted to leave this Place.
One woman greeted me. Although she said it was a form that 'she' took
at that time to make it easy for me to relate to her. She was a
stranger to me, although I was somehow not a stranger to her. She moved
with me throughout the landscape, telling me things that I and the rest
of the world needed to remember; things we'd forgotten or perhaps never
learned. These things were reminders that would help us live a
beautiful life on Earth. She said she was a spokesperson for everyone in
Heaven.
Somehow, she was a conduit for the information I was
being given because if I met and communicated with everyone who wanted
to speak with me, I would be overwhelmed. It felt as though we were
together for days, even weeks. The amount of information she passed on
to me was staggering. I am still processing it. But eventually she
insisted it was time for me to go back to my life. The thought of that
made me weep like a child. I didn't want to go back: Not now, not ever.
This Place was too beautiful and loving for me to want to leave. But
she insisted that I had a life to live. It wasn't time for me to be here
for good. I argued up and down and even yelled a few times. Can you
imagine, arguing with a Being such as this? But I did. I argued and
cried. I insisted I didn't want to go back to a broken body and all of
the repercussions from this experience that awaited me. She watched me
with what I felt was sadness, but she insisted that it was my time to go
back. As I opened my mouth to argue again, I was back in the surgical
recovery room. I was confused, weeping, and already missing that Place
and the Being who I'd met there. No: I am no longer an atheist or
agnostic, (although, at this point I don't want to put a label on what I
am). I did have the good fortune to be shown Spirit in a way that made
me realize that I can no longer deny It for myself. These experiences
have opened my heart to all peoples, all faiths, and all beliefs in a
way that I would not have thought possible. I will share a small bit of
the first thing she taught me. We are primarily here to Love: to
practice Love, to show Love, to experience Love. Hate is not the
language of Spirit, nor is fear. Love is. It is a Love that has no
conditions or strings attached. It is simply Love in all of its forms.
I
was asked to share this with as many people as possible, so that is
what I intend to do. That's what I promised, after all. I am not sure
yet how I will get out the information. I think telling on a blog is a
good start, but I expect that some larger form of publication will be in
the works too. Yes, this is all real. No, I didn't make up or
embellish any of it. I understand that some of you will think I'm crazy
or hallucinating. Some of you may find any explanation to deny my
experiences because they feel uncomfortable to you. Some people I have
known for years may choose to distance themselves from me. This could
cost me much. I was an agnostic scientist until just a couple of months
ago, after all. But this is me and my life now. I trust that telling
my story and all that follows will help more than it hurts; that it
gives people hope, and that it brings people together. It may be that
telling the story brings new people or opportunities into my life as
well. All is as it should be. While my time on the Other Side (aka,
'Heaven') was brief in human terms, when I was there it felt as if weeks
or months were passing. I observed an amazing amount in, at most, a
couple of human hours.
The first wonderful thing that I
experienced was the beauty of Heaven, both visually and in a
feeling-sense. When I was there, a landscape of gently rolling hills
surrounded me. Flower-filled grassy meadows spread out on the hills
around me. There were huge, deciduous trees in full leaf. The trees
were larger and grander than any here on Earth and surrounded the
meadows. There was the barest sense of a light mist, as if it were a
humid summer morning clung to the tops of the trees. The sky showed a
very light blue, similar to what you might see at the ocean's shore,
with wispy clouds and a very bright but somewhat diffuse golden light.
That was the visual. But there is more to Heaven than what we can see
with our eyes. Below the surface visuals was a well of feeling fueled by
love, peace, and an abiding Presence that I will call Spirit or God.
Through the landscape around me I sensed a profound feeling of peace,
brightness, goodness, and love. The Beauty I felt really does deserve a
capital B. It wasn't just pleasing to the eye: there was something
deeper to it, more harmonious, more blessed, and more powerful.
Everything
felt tied together by love and peace, and the beauty of the scenes
around me was the product of this unconditional love. While the beauty
of Heaven took my breath away, the sense of love completely ensnared me
and made me want to stay there forever. I felt a deep sense of that
love flowing through all things around me: the air, the ground below my
feet, the trees, the clouds, and me. I felt the love flowing around me,
flowing through me, and eventually capturing me by the heart. I felt
supported by a loving Presence so powerful, yet so gentle, that I cried
again. I had never experienced such unconditional love and acceptance in
all of my years on the planet. It felt as though this place were built
from love and peace on a very grand, cosmic scale. What I realized,
and was later told by my Guide, was that love formed the structure or
underpinnings of Heaven.
Each soul might see the 'landscape'
differently, but all sensed and 'saw' the love that formed the basis for
everything in the same way. That love and peace seemed to shimmer as
glimmers of light beneath the surface, winking in and out of visual
sight. It had colors and sparkle and texture. It seemed to take the form
of what I saw, like trees, a meadow, but at the same time it was also
separate from the forms themselves. The closest I can come to
explaining what Heaven 'looked' like to my feeling-senses is to point
you to the work of artist Ken Elliott. His paintings come closest to
capturing what I felt underlying the landscape Over There. I'll share
two pieces with you here with his permission, but please check out his
website (www.KenElliott.com) for more examples. 'Soft Blue Progression,'
comes closest to showing you what the visuals looked like for me as
well. 'Yellow Wall,' as well as Ken's other paintings, gives a sense of
the energy or vibration of LOVE and PEACE that build everything There.
NDERF.org, #7674
Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light: 12 Life Lessons from a Near Death Experience
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