I was raised under the influence of my father, who
was strict and authoritarian since childhood, so my mind was deep-rooted
on Marxism theory. Also, I was an active member in communist party in
college. When I started working, I was ambitiously longing to become a
successor of the party in both socialist-minded and professionally
competent. Hence, I disliked idealism, having no attachment with any
religions or superstitions. Nevertheless, incredible things happened to
me, especially since I was a die-hard atheist.
The illness might have been initiated due to several cold and hard
winters. On top of this, I was a workaholic. Each year my chronic coughs
always began in autumn and continued to winter, and then lingered
until the end of spring and lasted to the beginning of summer. One
autumn of that particular year, my prolonged coughing ailment broke out
again. I went to a local clinic every day to have an antibiotic
intravenous (IV) treatment as I usually did before. I arrived at the
clinic around 8 PM. The doctor told me that a specific lot of Penicillin
that was used on me two days ago was given to treat a child just
recently. Then I needed to use a new lot, so they did a skin test on me
first. It was a 'positive' result on my wrist with a big two-cent size,
bulging redness on my skin that spread like pseudopodia. I hesitated a
few minutes before asking doctor, 'Is it OK to have a reaction like
this?' The doctor pondered awhile then replied, 'It is a false positive
due to a new lot was used on you. It should be all right as you had been
treated with Penicillin a couple days ago.' However, to prevent me from
having an anaphylaxis shock, he gave me a Phenergan shot. Additionally,
he injected Dexamethasone into my intravenous drip. I felt confident
and relaxed afterwards. I then walked into patient ward and was lying
down on a bed. A nurse hooked me up with an IV and then left to attend
other patients. Shortly after, there was a train-like screeching,
tinnitus sound.
Suddenly I fell into a dark tunnel and I was charging forward. I felt
tremendously apprehensive, asking myself, 'What is wrong with me? I am
fine just now but how come everything changed?' I wanted to stop and go
back, but I was moving uncontrollably forward and could not head back. I
screamed frantically, yet I was mute. I attempted to struggle through,
but still my effort was futile. I perceived myself as a speck, hurling
in an eternal circular pathway.
Although my flesh lay in the physical world, I (my soul) entered into a
dimension with a barrier that separated 'me' and 'my spirit.' Clearly, I
realized that it was not a dream. Instead there was something wrong
with the intravenous drip. I had an allergic reaction to Penicillin. I
underwent panic, felt frightened, vulnerable, and despaired while
floating in this endless tunnel. I knew obviously my body still lay in
bed, but I could not go back into it anymore. 'Is this death?' I
contemplated. 'If it is, why am I very clear-headed?' I did not
disappear, but rather I was isolated from the physical world. I felt no
pain. I was hovering liked a feather and feeling very cozy.
To explain exactly what I felt as something in the unseen world, it
seemed like there was a stream of beings guided me. They affirmed my
answers, clarified my confusions, and comforted my bewildered heart. I
did not know how to describe the 'stream of beings.' They were silent, yet full of kindness, brightness, compassion, and
amiability. They answered all my questions. It felt I was being lead
and enveloped by a spring sunshine. I understood they were beings in a
much higher level than me and in the spiritual realm. I called them
prophet, the wisdom who communicated to me telepathically, revealing the
true colors of the universe, purpose of life, and opened the door of
death so I could have a glimpse of the other dimension.
Instantaneously, I was no longer in the lengthy, dark tunnel.
Alternatively, I was in a bright, warm, and pure world. I was completely
relieved, no more agonies, but instead replaced with eternal peace and
bliss. My spirit asked one question after another, regarding the true
colors of the universe and about life and death. Wherever my conscious
went, he unfolded the answers before my eyes. This world was made up of
particles. When microparticles accumulated, it formed a world with
thousands of collective representations, meaning specific images. For
example, as to many people the tree in front of a house is only a tree,
while in this realm it is a stacked heap of tree-shaped molecules that
are drifting and cycling forever. I did see the piles of molecules,
flowing and surrounding this phenomenal world. While my physical body
still lay in bed while given an IV drip, my conscious was free at will
to watch trees outside the clinic.
Am I a particle, too? 'Yes, human body is built with innumerable
particles. They circulate, metabolize, exchange, and etc. as being all
part of the movements. As for you (my spirit to be exact), you are part
of the molecules who are recycling among them. Therefore, particles
cluster, mobile, recycle, flow to somewhere, and then assemble to
another physique. So, this phenomenon keeps recurring, there is no life
or death. It is infinite and the essence of the world. Commonly known as
death which is actually a continuation on to the next phase of life. At
this state you are in now. Your mind (soul) is existing and thinking
obviously, but you are separated from the physical world without
communication. It is like a glass-door partition between you and the
world; you can see everything of the physical world, however people on
the other side can't feel your existence.'
Being unable to communicate the situation you are in, and your loved
ones have no means to understand it. Thus, I know, as for death, since
people you loved don't understand what death truly is so they feel
sorrow for the decreased. At this moment, I became worried if my parents
know I had died, then they will be very miserable. In addition to my
child who is too young to be independent. All these worries are flashing
in my mind.
As our flesh is like a TV set, our consciousness is like TV programs.
Is it perhaps when a TV set is aged to break down then all signals
become vanished? Human's body is an aggregation of particulate matter
that becomes a carrier. Whether the carrier is a particulate matter or
in a form of energy, it never disappears. At this moment, I was in a
confused situation where my conscious and flesh were detached but still
in a connected state. I felt there are several different dimensions
coexisted. While my conscious stayed in another realm, I was
telepathizing with prophets and the wise whom revealed the true colors
of the universe to me. At the same time, I was keen to everything in
this dimension, clearly knowing things were around me. Owing to the fast
velocity around here, sounds were transmitted to ears in a slow and
time-delay fashion.
While on Earth, an old couple came to the clinic to see a doctor. When
they walked by the patient ward I was in, they saw I was alone and
asleep with an IV. They commented 'Look! This poor lady who has a child
to take care of.' People hustled in and out of the clinic accompanied by
unceasingly muffled noises. I even saw right through the wall with two
coat hangers dangled in a closet. At once, my pager rang three times
nurse came and asked if I wanted to answer. One of them was from the
band musician who wanted to talk about our performance, the other two
were from my dates. I was directing my somewhat unfamiliar body to nod
my head sluggishly.
In my NDE, I considered money, love, and passions would never be
important to me anymore. I became clairvoyant knowing what doctor would
tell the patients outside of my room when they described their symptoms
to the doctor even before he opened his mouth to talk. Consequently,
they were all verified as what I had perceived beforehand. 'I' was
suspended above my body to dictate it (my flesh) to take a deep, long
breath so to speak, to show a movement of being alive. Later, the
doctor told me that he could not understand why I was taking
cheyne-stokes breathing which was different than a normal respiration
as when I was unconscious.
When the doctor came to examine me, my afloat soul commanded my body
to wink to bring his attention. I (my body) clung to his hand for he
would be the only person who could bring me back to my parents, child,
and unfinished missions. Instantly,my spirit plunged down
abruptly,feeling my head spinning, Finally, I merged into my body.
When I opened my eyes to sit up, I began vomiting nonstop. Totally, I
puked pickle-like dark fluid that was half-full in a washbasin, and then
my whole body felt empty. The doctor was astonished,”How come your
small stomach held this much stuff?”It must have been a ritual cleanse.
The doctor had made every effort to rescue me. When I told him about
what I had been through in last four hours, he was silent and listened
to me before his face turned pale. I thought he was very terrified after
hearing my experience. He stayed in my room to accompany me for the
whole night. I have no intention to blame my doctor at all. I had a
chance to experience NDE was because of his mistakes, so I had an
insight of the Earth and the other realm. Being intimidated by and my
fear of death had diminished, as my NDE had completely changed my
perspectives toward the meaning of life and the ethics of entire world.
NDERF.org, translated from Chinese
