Eben Alexander on praying for the dying

"Those familiar with my coma ordeal often write to me to ask what they can do for someone close to them who is presently in coma due to accident, illness, or other reasons. They are distraught at the thought of losing their loved one and wish to prevent it at all costs. Often they ask if prayers will make a difference. They are usually inspired by my inexplicable recovery and desperately wish to know if prayer will help their loved one survive and recover. The key thing to remember is that our existence does not end with the death of the physical body. Prayer can have tremendous power—remember that your prayers will get through to your loved one’s soul on this journey, providing him or her with comfort and love. Whether or not the physical body recovers is not the end goal. If such recovery allows for growth in understanding our relationship with the universe in pursuit of our intended life’s lessons, then it becomes possible.

"No matter how deep in coma a loved one might be, assume that the loving energy of your prayers will help you connect with their soul. Use the energy of that loving connection to manifest the highest and best good for all involved. This does entail detaching from the outcome, and asking that ‘thy will be done.’

"It is crucial to realize that death is not the end of our soul connections with loved ones. Prayer often opens the door to show us that connection, as we sense that the soul of our departing loved one is not actually departed at all, even after they have left their physical body once and for all.

"Recall that healing is to hallow or to make holy, essentially to ‘make whole.’ The reuniting with the infinitely loving creative force at the death of the body is a most beautiful lesson of the true oneness underlying our existence, the eternity of spirit and interconnectedness of all souls.

"Our job, as caregivers and as loved ones of the dying person, is to share gifts—of recognition, of acceptance, and of forgiveness (of the departing soul, of siblings, and other family, but most especially of ourselves) to comfort and console the dying. Dying is a natural aspect of the cycle of life. Telling a dying person that it is okay, that you are also at one with it, offers powerful healing to all parties. Interpret what you witness with your heart, not your head. Stay alert throughout the dying process."

Eben Alexander and Karen Newall, Living in a Mindful Universe: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Heart of Consciousness, 2017.