In April of 1995, I was a newly divorced mother
of two boys, ages seven and two. I'd been working two jobs to support
us, and fell ill with what I believed was the flu. Each day I worked,
and each day I felt a greater weight on my chest. As I was only in
Georgia for four years at this time, I had no family, only friends.
Neighbors often rallied to my side with help in a crisis, I felt
blessed. As I grew weaker, the Lynch family stopped by and offered to
take my sons for the night, and would drop them at school/daycare the
next day. Another neighbor was instructed by the Lynch's to check up on
me the next morning. With my children cared for, I crawled into the
bottom bunk of my sons' bed. Excruciating pain grew stronger across my
chest and shoulders. In a fraction of a moment, everything around me
melted away.
I was surrounded by a mass of solid glowing white.
My eyes caught a girl to my right side. She was probably nineteen or
twenty. Shorter than my five feet eight inches stature she starred up at
me. She asked where we were. I had no clue. She proceeded to tell me
she'd been driving home from work and didn't understand how she was now
standing beside me. I revealed likewise, that I had been in my sons'
bunk bed and had no recollection of moving.
In front of us, a
man appeared and approached us. The best I can describe his
face/features is brown curly hair to the nape of his neck, liquid brown
eyes, capable of illuminating the most unbelievable compassion, and a
delicate mustache under a pronounced nose. His face literally glowed.
His eyes kept mine to his. I asked him where we were. He smiled, nodded,
and said, 'The best way to describe this is, you are in a form of
limbo.' My mind desperately tried to grasp what he was implying.
Unfortunately, whenever I am stressed, excited, antsy etc. my bladder
turns into a waterlogged tsetse fly. Embarrassed, I moved forward and
asked where the restrooms were. This part is where I get emotional in
repeating my NDE. This man simply smiled at me. Not a smirk. Not a
condescending gesture. He smiled with every ounce of unconditional love
and compassion that I will never properly explain. His smile covered my
body like a blanket and made me feel so at peace. Asking me to move with
him, I assumed he was taking me to the facilities.
Gesturing he
told me to walk forward and I would see what I would call 'a mirror'.
Once in front of it, I would understand why I didn't need a bathroom.
Moving into the direction, before me was a liquid pool of white, yet, it
also appeared to be a mirror. I was completely mesmerized. There were
colors - brilliant colors everywhere. I was an array of beautiful
moving, shimmering, vibrating, and colors. He came closer and said, 'Do
you understand now?' I realized I was pure energy, spirit, and part of a
flowing consciousness; while still remaining 'Denise'. At that moment,
he shared his name, 'John'. As we moved, he also shared with me what was
happening.
The following is a reiteration of his words.
'Everyone has choices. Everyone has free will. How this interacts in
your life, and death, and with others, is all by choice. For instance,
look at the girl who came here at the same time as you. If the ambulance
driver takes a different road to the scene, if someone decides to move
her and doesn't know what they are doing and cause more damage, if her
internal organs are too crushed by the accident by speed and timing, she
will stay here. You are laying in your sons' bedroom. Your one neighbor
was given the responsibility to check on you. It is her choice, her
free will. Will she find you? Will she decide to take a shower first and
be too late? Each of us always hangs in a balance, by decisions, Not
only by our own actions, but by the free will and actions of others.' He
finished, 'I need to tell you, your neighbor is entering your home. She
will find you. You will be going back.'
With these last words
still ringing in my ears, I was sucked like a vacuum back into my body.
My physical pain took my breath away. My neighbor was crying, pounding
on my chest, and screaming for me to breathe. I was rushed to the
hospital and diagnosed with pleurisy. My left lung muscle was so damaged
the doctors informed me any future incidents with my lungs would kill
me.
Jump ahead to 2003. On a trip with my mother and friend to
Savannah Georgia, we decided to visit the Catholic Cathedral. Upon
entering the church and looking around, a short elderly man, with
twinkling grey eyes, came softly up to my right side. He took my hand
and asked me to walk with him. I wasn't afraid or fearful (besides my
mom and friend were directly in front of us). As they walked ahead and
moved towards the altar, the little man guided me to the last
stained-glass window on the left, closest to the alter. He asked if I
saw anyone I knew in the stained glass. It was a side profile, but I
recognized him immediately.
It was John, my John from my NDE. I
whispered in awe, 'That's John.' 'Yes it is my dear. He was an apostle
on earth and he was called smiling John. You needed to see this. You
needed to remember and know that it happened.' I stood there shaking my
head in a yes motion and turned to look at the little man. He was gone,
nowhere in sight. My mother and her friend had turned to me and asked
where he went. I told them I did not know - but I had a something to
share with them. And I've been sharing my NDE with anyone who needs to
hear it ever since.#5122
NDERF.org 5122
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