Wednesday, May 26, 2021

She lost consciousness during birth but found God

I was 8.5 months pregnant and suddenly developed toxemia poisoning. This was my 5th pregnancy, but only second birth. I had lost 3 other babies. I had a 5 year-old-son of my own and a 2-year-old that we had adopted as a baby when I kept miscarrying. I was rushed to a hospital emergency room when my blood pressure went way out of control. My face was so swollen that I could hardly see out of my eyes. The rest of my body swelled to the point that the doctor on call, mistakenly thought I was an obese person and yet I only weighed 135 lbs! Everything happened so very fast, such that I suddenly could not breathe on my own. I lost consciousness at some point. That is when I experienced being outside of my body and was watching how frantically they were working to get me to breathe on my own.

My next realization was that I was no longer frightened about not being able to breathe on my own. I was at peace and very aware of the steps the doctors and nurses were taking to save my life. I understood all the terms they were using and could comprehend that I was not alive as far as they were concerned. I became aware of is the state of each person's relationship with others in the room. There were suddenly no secrets and yet, there was no judgment on my part, but rather an unconditional love. I felt very much loved at this time and I wanted to extend that to the others in the room. But they could not hear me. I could hear and see everything! It made me think of the scripture that says, we 'will fully know as we are fully known.' Oddly, this ability continues today in terms of knowing the truth about people's relationships with others.

I was not allowed to stay in God's presence, which was so full of light and love. I was told, not in words, but rather a thought that I had to come back and continue to be a mother to my sons.

I suddenly became aware of being rushed to the delivery room and being guided through the birth which was so fast! Then I was sent to the recovery room and I wanted my Bible because I didn't want to lose that incredible sense of love and light that I had experienced. However, the recovery room nurse wouldn't let me have my bible! She said I needed to rest. I laughed and had the boldness to tell her that she had no idea what true rest was. I told her I had just been in God's presence and discovered a rest and peace, that no amount of sleep would ever bring. She didn't comprehend what I was saying but did acknowledge that I must have gone through a frightening experience since they 'lost me for a little while'. I tried to explain that I wasn't lost at all and that I felt more alive than I every had felt. I suddenly understood what 'living in the spirit' meant. I also came to see that we put so much effort into our physical being, when in fact life through the spirit is far more powerful and satisfying. Words cannot adequately describe the incredible life and power that I had experienced from being in God's presence. I feel at loss to help others understand that the reality we live in our physical lives is nothing compared to life in the spiritual realm. Words cannot describe adequately what it is like to be in God's tremendously loving presence. I did learn that I can give the same unconditional love to others as though it is flowing through me from God.

 NDERF.org, 8034

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

NDE survivor describes her life review

I was out of my body but not seeing with my eyes. I knew something had happened during surgery that was life-threatening. It was somehow understood that as a spiritual being, I needed to be outside of the body as it might not have been usable anymore. While I do remember a bright light about the place I went, I do not remember a journey through a tunnel. I remember floating toward a light. I arrived at a place with both, gorgeous wildlife and beautiful buildings. I don't remember being met by family members or friends who had passed. I do remember a sense of familiarity with the beings who greeted me; One of whom was a dog, my childhood pet.

The way I experienced knowledge and information wasn't through human means. I experienced a sort of fused knowledge, where I had access to different aspects of knowledge if I focused in on whatever it was I wanted to know. In this way, I'd immediately know the answer to what concerned me. The best way to describe information is through a series of emotional impressions which I accepted as truth because there was no concept of untruth or lies there. Physically, I did not have form in the usual way. If I thought that I should have form, I would assume a human form. If I didn't think about it, I was a contained essence, but weightless and maybe even made of light.

Two beings guided me into one of the buildings for a life review process. I believe these buildings were constructed as blending with the natural environment. They were open like pavilions. If I thought about them, I think they assumed more form. If I didn't think about them, they assumed less form. What I do remember is a screen as if on a table. The screen was like a touch screen. I never had access to this technology at the time of my NDE, so I didn't know a thing like that existed. I reviewed my life like a movie except that I could pause it and zoom into to different important times during my life. I could examine these times from multiple perspectives, such as the people they affected. When I think of this review now, I imagine it must have taken up a very long time in earth-time had I done the same thing here. However, at this place, the concept of time didn't translate very well. Time was now and it only passed in a linear fashion because I organized the different events as happening in a certain order when I reflect on it. It's extremely hard to explain, but it was nothing like time on earth.

After the life review, I was taken before more beings which seemed to be wiser than the two who brought me to my life review. I communicated with them about my decisions during my life review and areas where I could improve. While it was a collaborative process, I had deep respect and reverence for these beings. I felt that they loved me completely and without any judgment. In psychology there's a term to describe this called 'unconditional positive regard.' I felt completely sure that they had this feeling for me. This surety felt like a warm glow of light around me. The conclusion of these conversations was that it wasn't so much a decision of doing the 'wrong' thing in situations, or making unwise choices, but that the times of greatest challenge for me were times in which I could have acted but chose inaction. It was concluded that when I returned to earth, I must choose action and use my experiences and feelings to guide these actions so that they be an act of love.

Before I went back to earth, there was an agreement of some sort that I could stay in a certain area of this place, but I could not go deeper into this city. For example, I couldn't find out more information about the future of my life, even though I knew I'd forget upon returning if I did. Instead, I stayed in an area of beautiful gardens. These gardens were greener than green is on earth and the colors were vivid and rich. While I was in this place, I was weightless. I could access all knowledge I could think of. I also felt no pain because I didn't have a body. No weight, no pain. It was like it was impossible to be clumsy. It was also impossible to be anything other than truly myself. I felt as if I was more myself there than here on earth.

I spent what would be in earth terms, a great deal of time in these gardens talking to the people there. One of the people there was an ascended master. At the time, I decided to call this master 'Jesus.' But when I look back, it was as if this person was a spokesperson for God who had special access to divine intent. We talked for what could have been hours or even days on earth. It was always light there, as if it was continuously in the afternoon. This wasn't bothersome to me though. I believe it was like that because I thought it should be like that. Unlike being around people on earth, I felt completely energized and refreshed from the social exchange. I'm an introvert on earth, so this was a very striking difference for me. I do not remember what we spoke about except that it involved special knowledge, which I don't have access to on earth.

What I got out of this experience before leaving was that I must choose action instead of inaction. I must behave in a way that would help bring more awareness and love to the world. The ascended master told me that I needed to go. While I was never asked specifically if I was going back or not, it was understood that I was going to go back.

I do not remember the journey back to my body, but I don't believe I went back to my body and then woke up. I think I went back to my body and then gradually came out of anesthesia sometime afterwards. The first thing I remember when I woke up was that I was back in a hospital room. My father was sitting next to me. He commented that I was very lucky to have survived the surgery because there were complications during surgery. I can't remember whether or not I talked to him about my experience, but I think I made some simple comment like, 'I had a dream' or 'I had a vision'. 
NDERF.org, 8213

Monday, May 24, 2021

1982 NDE of a woman who'd never heard of NDEs

I saw and heard my husband cry and did not understand the reason. For me, everything was going to pass and I was well. I said to him: 'Manuel, I'm well! It’s over!' He didn’t hear me. I insisted. He went to grab the device to measure the blood pressure, put it on my arm and when it got the result he moaned. He tried it several times in vain because the device didn’t give any signal.

I continued to look at him and telling him that I was well. He didn’t hear me. I saw that he went to get a small mirror, which he put in front of my nose and my mouth but there was no vapor in the mirror. He tried it once and again. I continued with my attempts to speak to him, telling him that I was all right and that I didn’t feel any pain. I couldn’t explain why the mirror didn’t fog up but I worried more about calming my husband. I was well. He babbled, 'Please, Gracinia! Don’t leave me! Come back to me! I need you!'

Suddenly, I realized that I was looking at him from a more elevated point than would be possible if I were lying in bed. Finally, he stopped and bent over my body to cry: ‘Gracinia! (an affectionate version of my name) Don’t leave me, please! What is going to be of our son! Oh, my God!' (contrary to me, at that time my husband was a practicing Catholic in spite of some doubts, and he continued to be it for many years afterwards).

At that moment, I realized that something absurd was occurring. I was aware that I was watching the scene from close to the ceiling. I was not scared. I was intrigued. I tried to find an explanation but I couldn’t. I looked around stunned. I think that I stopped listening to my husband, although I saw him leaning over my body to cry.

I looked carefully around from the ceiling. I saw the ceiling lamp and the friezes of the closet doors. It was then that I saw a sheet of blue paper with twenty-five lines, covered with dust. It was a document that I had searched for and couldn’t find. I thought, 'It’s here. I looked around for it so much and it is here and covered in dust. I’ll have to clean more carefully.'

Below, my husband shook my body and I felt sorry for him. I did not think that I was dead, because I could watch the scene from a physically impossible point of view. I looked at the wall on my back and saw the clock. When I tried to see the time, I felt 'sucked' and left that space.

In the following instant, I was in a place and in total darkness. I felt a lot of fear and was disoriented. I remember I was going forward with my extended arms and rolling in all directions looking for a point of reference. There was Nothing and I was terrified.
I didn’t call God or the saints. To me, they did not exist. I didn’t call for anyone. It was then that I heard a voice: 'Don’t be afraid! We are here to help you!' I extended my arms in the direction of the voice but all I found a void. Another voice, and still another, said the same to me. I cannot tell how many of them there were. I felt their 'presence' but I couldn’t touch them.

At a certain point, I realized that I didn’t hear them with my ears but with my thoughts. How was that possible?

I realized that I didn’t have an option. I was in the darkness, not knowing where, and whatever it was that was there. I had no one to ask for help. These voices seemed like people to me because I could understand what they said to me. I mentally accepted their help. I was scared; I can even say that I was terrified. The total darkness disoriented me.

'Come! Follow us!'

Whoever it was that communicated with me was situated to the right. I felt something like an energy, like static electricity or magnetism, which I couldn’t define. I felt also that there were other 'energies' around me.

I asked 'Where are we going?' and they answered that I should be calm and to continue.

At a certain place, a point of minuscule light appeared in that darkness. They said to me, 'Look! That is where we are going!'  I had the sensation of 'traveling' in the projected cone of light, like when you use a lantern in the dark you project a cone of light. That is how I can describe that moment.I started to feel anxious. I wanted to be there, close to the light. To me, it was a star that would illuminate the landscape when we were closer to it.

We came to a point where the clarity illuminated everything and I saw a landscape. But I didn’t have time to look at its details because it seemed as if we were traveling at an unthinkable speed. I saw the Earth and the Moon in the distance. I saw the Sun moving away. I was amazed.

There were colors that I cannot define because they don’t fit in the palette of colors that we have on earth. There were tones that created layers like transparent, superimposed plaques. They were beautiful and I was ecstatic. Then more and more stars appeared that moved away as we advanced. I could see the light of the stars without any difficulty.
I remember understanding. It seemed to me that I saw the stars in parallel, infinite planes. I understood everything, so I no longer asked questions. I looked and marveled at the 'scenery'. The 'landscape' was formed by colors and the stars that we passed.

I looked at the light towards which we were heading. It was so powerful as the sun but its light did not hurt. I looked at it directly but did not feel discomfort. The same happened when we passed by any star. None of these lights hurt. As strange as it may seem, the more away I was from the planet Earth, the more the existence of my family ceased to matter to me. I didn’t think of my son and that was very strange.

I recall that I had a sentiment similar to one that we have when after a long absence and we come back home. I felt I was 'going back home'. I was at peace and as happy as I never had been before.

At a certain moment, the first light issued sounds which I cannot define. Sound came out in 'a wave', which I call so because it moved like the waves of the sea. It was a wave of light and energy that I don’t know how to define. I had fear but my invisible companion told me to remain calm and that nothing bad would happen to me. When the wave touched me, I felt it gave out love. It was a love so great that even if I added the love of my parents, my husband, my son, all the family and that which I felt for them, it could not be compared to this love more than a grain of sand to the desert. 
I wished to go to the source that emanated so much love. I changed focused from whatever surrounded me to center only on that strange star. I wanted to reach it soon and with each wave that touched me, I felt ever happier as if I always was part of that love.

I was close, so I thought, when the light said mentally to me: 'Stop. You have to go back! Your husband needs you and your son too!'

'But I want to stay! Please! I have never felt so much love in my life! Don’t send me back!'

'You have to go back! You have duties to fulfill! Your mission has not yet ended!'

In the following instant, everything vanished. The pain came back, I breathed and was on the bed, with my husband crying with joy. I was crying with sadness.

On the morning of the next day my husband took me to a doctor of good reputation. After a long examination, he informed us that I had had a cardiac and respiratory arrest due to an allergic reaction to the chemical composition of aspirin, and I was very lucky to have survived.
NDERF.org, 4332, translated from the Portuguese original report

 

Sunday, May 23, 2021

"Going Home" words by William Arms Fisher

Going home, going home. I am just going home.

Quiet like some still day. I'm just going home.

It's not far, just close by. Through an open door.

Work all done, cares laid by. Going to fear no more.

 

Mother's there expecting me. Father's waiting too.

Lots of folks gathered there. All the friends I knew.

 

Nothing’s lost, all is gain. No more fret, no more pain.

No more stumbling on the way. No more longing for the day.

Going to roam no more.

 

Morning star lights the way. Restless dreams all done. 

Shadows gone, break of day. Real life has begun. 

There's no break, there's no end. Just a living on. 

Wide awake, with a smile. Going on and on. 

Going home, going home. I'm just going home. 

It's not far, just near by. Through an open door.

I am going home.


Sung by Sissel Kyrkjebo - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ_2Xbvb0rQ

William Arms Fisher was a pupil of famed composer Antonin Dvorak, studying under Dvorak in New York City. A native of Prague, in 1893, Dvorak composed his most famous symphony, the Symphony No. 9 in E Minor "From the New World". It was commissioned by the New York Philharmonic and was an homage to the United States, which had just passed its 100th anniversary of being a country.

 

Contrary to popular belief, Dvorak did not base the symphony on any existing folk songs. Rather, he wrote original themes based on what he'd heard of Native American and African American music in the United States. The symphony was met with immediate success at its premier on December 16, 1893 at Carnegie Hall.

 

William Arms Fisher took up the challenge, starting by penning words to the Largo melody of the second movement of Dvorak's symphony. He also published a volume of called "Seventy Negro Spirituals" in 1926. Today, many people assume that the tune was always an African American spiritual that was adapted to the symphony, but in fact the opposite is true.

Saturday, May 22, 2021

NDE of communist woman in China transforms her

I was raised under the influence of my father, who was strict and authoritarian since childhood, so my mind was deep-rooted on Marxism theory. Also, I was an active member in communist party in college. When I started working, I was ambitiously longing to become a successor of the party in both socialist-minded and professionally competent. Hence, I disliked idealism, having no attachment with any religions or superstitions. Nevertheless, incredible things happened to me, especially since I was a die-hard atheist. The illness might have been initiated due to several cold and hard winters. On top of this, I was a workaholic. Each year my chronic coughs always began in autumn and continued to winter, and then lingered until the end of spring and lasted to the beginning of summer. 

One autumn of that particular year, my prolonged coughing ailment broke out again. I went to a local clinic every day to have an antibiotic intravenous (IV) treatment as I usually did before. I arrived at the clinic around 8 PM. The doctor told me that a specific lot of Penicillin that was used on me two days ago was given to treat a child just recently. Then I needed to use a new lot, so they did a skin test on me first. It was a 'positive' result on my wrist with a big two-cent size, bulging redness on my skin that spread like pseudopodia. I hesitated a few minutes before asking doctor, 'Is it OK to have a reaction like this?' The doctor pondered awhile then replied, 'It is a false positive due to a new lot was used on you. It should be all right as you had been treated with Penicillin a couple days ago.' However, to prevent me from having an anaphylaxis shock, he gave me a Phenergan shot. Additionally, he injected Dexamethasone into my intravenous drip. I felt confident and relaxed afterwards. I then walked into patient ward and was lying down on a bed. A nurse hooked me up with an IV and then left to attend other patients. Shortly after, there was a train-like screeching, tinnitus sound.

Suddenly I fell into a dark tunnel and I was charging forward. I felt tremendously apprehensive, asking myself, 'What is wrong with me? I am fine just now but how come everything changed?' I wanted to stop and go back, but I was moving uncontrollably forward and could not head back. I screamed frantically, yet I was mute. I attempted to struggle through, but still my effort was futile. I perceived myself as a speck, hurling in an eternal circular pathway.

Although my flesh lay in the physical world, I (my soul) entered into a dimension with a barrier that separated 'me' and 'my spirit.' Clearly, I realized that it was not a dream. Instead there was something wrong with the intravenous drip. I had an allergic reaction to Penicillin. I underwent panic, felt frightened, vulnerable, and despaired while floating in this endless tunnel. I knew obviously my body still lay in bed, but I could not go back into it anymore. 'Is this death?' I contemplated. 'If it is, why am I very clear-headed?' I did not disappear, but rather I was isolated from the physical world. I felt no pain. I was hovering liked a feather and feeling very cozy.

To explain exactly what I felt as something in the unseen world, it seemed like there was a stream of beings guided me. They affirmed my answers, clarified my confusions, and comforted my bewildered heart. I did not know how to describe the 'stream of beings.' They were silent, yet full of kindness, brightness, compassion, and amiability. They answered all my questions. It felt I was being lead and enveloped by a spring sunshine. I understood they were beings in a much higher level than me and in the spiritual realm. I called them prophet, the wisdom who communicated to me telepathically, revealing the true colors of the universe, purpose of life, and opened the door of death so I could have a glimpse of the other dimension.

Instantaneously, I was no longer in the lengthy, dark tunnel. Alternatively, I was in a bright, warm, and pure world. I was completely relieved, no more agonies, but instead replaced with eternal peace and bliss. My spirit asked one question after another, regarding the true colors of the universe and about life and death. Wherever my conscious went, he unfolded the answers before my eyes. This world was made up of particles. When microparticles accumulated, it formed a world with thousands of collective representations, meaning specific images. For example, as to many people the tree in front of a house is only a tree, while in this realm it is a stacked heap of tree-shaped molecules that are drifting and cycling forever. I did see the piles of molecules, flowing and surrounding this phenomenal world. While my physical body still lay in bed while given an IV drip, my conscious was free at will to watch trees outside the clinic.

Am I a particle, too? 'Yes, human body is built with innumerable particles. They circulate, metabolize, exchange, and etc. as being all part of the movements. As for you (my spirit to be exact), you are part of the molecules who are recycling among them. Therefore, particles cluster, mobile, recycle, flow to somewhere, and then assemble to another physique. So, this phenomenon keeps recurring, there is no life or death. It is infinite and the essence of the world. Commonly known as death which is actually a continuation on to the next phase of life. At this state you are in now. Your mind (soul) is existing and thinking obviously, but you are separated from the physical world without communication. It is like a glass-door partition between you and the world; you can see everything of the physical world, however people on the other side can't feel your existence.'

Being unable to communicate the situation you are in, and your loved ones have no means to understand it. Thus, I know, as for death, since people you loved don't understand what death truly is so they feel sorrow for the decreased. At this moment, I became worried if my parents know I had died, then they will be very miserable. In addition to my child who is too young to be independent. All these worries are flashing in my mind.

As our flesh is like a TV set, our consciousness is like TV programs. Is it perhaps when a TV set is aged to break down then all signals become vanished? Human's body is an aggregation of particulate matter that becomes a carrier. Whether the carrier is a particulate matter or in a form of energy, it never disappears. At this moment, I was in a confused situation where my conscious and flesh were detached but still in a connected state. I felt there are several different dimensions coexisted. While my conscious stayed in another realm, I was telepathizing with prophets and the wise whom revealed the true colors of the universe to me. At the same time, I was keen to everything in this dimension, clearly knowing things were around me. Owing to the fast velocity around here, sounds were transmitted to ears in a slow and time-delay fashion.

While on Earth, an old couple came to the clinic to see a doctor. When they walked by the patient ward I was in, they saw I was alone and asleep with an IV. They commented 'Look! This poor lady who has a child to take care of.' People hustled in and out of the clinic accompanied by unceasingly muffled noises. I even saw right through the wall with two coat hangers dangled in a closet. At once, my pager rang three times nurse came and asked if I wanted to answer. One of them was from the band musician who wanted to talk about our performance, the other two were from my dates. I was directing my somewhat unfamiliar body to nod my head sluggishly.

In my NDE, I considered money, love, and passions would never be important to me anymore. I became clairvoyant knowing what doctor would tell the patients outside of my room when they described their symptoms to the doctor even before he opened his mouth to talk. Consequently, they were all verified as what I had perceived beforehand. 'I' was suspended above my body to dictate it (my flesh) to take a deep, long breath so to speak, to show a movement of being alive. Later, the doctor told me that he could not understand why I was taking cheyne-stokes breathing which was different than a normal respiration as when I was unconscious.

When the doctor came to examine me, my afloat soul commanded my body to wink to bring his attention. I (my body) clung to his hand for he would be the only person who could bring me back to my parents, child, and unfinished missions. Instantly,my spirit plunged down abruptly,feeling my head spinning, Finally, I merged into my body.

When I opened my eyes to sit up, I began vomiting nonstop. Totally, I puked pickle-like dark fluid that was half-full in a washbasin, and then my whole body felt empty. The doctor was astonished,”How come your small stomach held this much stuff?”It must have been a ritual cleanse. The doctor had made every effort to rescue me. When I told him about what I had been through in last four hours, he was silent and listened to me before his face turned pale. I thought he was very terrified after hearing my experience. He stayed in my room to accompany me for the whole night. I have no intention to blame my doctor at all. I had a chance to experience NDE was because of his mistakes, so I had an insight of the Earth and the other realm. Being intimidated by and my fear of death had diminished, as my NDE had completely changed my perspectives toward the meaning of life and the ethics of entire world. 

NDERF.org, translated from Chinese

Friday, May 21, 2021

Near-drowning experience as a child

I was jumping off the top of a small dam into the river. I followed the example of some older boys who were doing it for fun. It was a dangerous and risky activity, but I thought I could do it successfully. My first few jumps off the dam were exhilarating. I just needed to be sure that I jumped out far enough to clear the cascade of water falling down from the dam. Otherwise, one could get pulled down under the water and pinned to the river bottom. 

Needless to say, I made too short of a jump, and fell into the cascading water. I was tumbled and pushed to the bottom of the river and pinned down flat by the water pressure. I tried to break free, but was not strong enough. I held my breath and thought to myself, 'This is it, I am going to die.' The moment I drew water into my lungs, I thought, 'Dying is so easy, only one breath-span between here and there.' It was soft, like gossamer on a butterfly's wing.

My life flashed before my eyes in rapid sequence, like flashcards or playing cards being ruffled quickly. All of my life moments, including the inconsequential moments as well as important instances. They all came flooding through. From the red canvas of my tennis shoes, to the wind and smell of the oak trees I loved to climb; everything I experienced was shown frame-by-frame in a part-second. I was suddenly pulled by many filaments located in the center of my chest. I went forward like a kite of a string, down through a tunnel or wormhole. I went extremely fast, like a bottle rocket - whoosh! I was flying toward a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

Then I was standing in bare feet on river sand. I was standing on the edge of a great river which flowed from left to right. It looked to be a couple of miles wide. Behind me were stabilized dunes with willow and alder trees, intermittently spaced along the rivers edge. There was grass in the dunes. I first looked for the sun, but found nothing that provided a light source for the daylight conditions. I then looked across the river, to see such an amazing world of mountains, trees, waterfalls, exotic flowers. Everywhere was green, green, green! It looked like our own natural world, but on steroids. There was so much life with colors, textures, light, and smells that were all in a state of absolute perfection and abundance. I could scarcely take it in.

Then whoooooooosh! I felt myself being pulled behind by the same filaments between my shoulder blades back through the wornhole. I found myself being resuscitated at the rivers edge. A couple of teenage boys had jumped into the water, found me, and pulled me out.  

NDERF.org

Thursday, May 20, 2021

NDE experience of walking and being loved

I did not wake up for at least a day and maybe two or three days after surgery. I have a very rare disease that was misdiagnosed at the time. The pump that the surgeon was putting in, when working properly, helped people with both my actual disease and those with the disease I was misdiagnosed with. The technology was new at the time and the surgeon had never put one in before. Another doctor later told me that she thought the surgeon put too medicine in the pump at the time of surgery. Overdosing me with this drug can totally paralyze a person. That's why I didn't wake up and couldn't breathe effectively. Another anesthesiologist in another hospital thought that my disease negatively interacted with the anesthesia. He developed a different 'recipe' for anesthesia that was specific to people with my disease. Maybe it was both, the anesthesia and the pump drug together? No matter though because all my vital organs were compromised. The correct diagnosis is Moersch-Woltman syndrome, otherwise known as 'stiff person syndrome'.

Visitors were told that I was probably going to die. I don't remember how bad my breathing was, but a friend who was also a nurse came to visit me. She later told me that I was gasping for breath about four times a minute. Having witnessed death quite a bit, she thought that every breath was my last.

Meanwhile, I 'went' somewhere else.

I was in a thin and large transparent 'tube,' like a very thin membrane that I could see through. I was 'running' through the tube at light-speed, watching the stars and the universe go by. The amazing part, to me at the time, was that I could not walk at all, since I used a wheelchair and was completely stiffened . This experience of actually running was so freeing, so amazing, and so wonderful! Looking forward, the tube seemed endless as it was twisting away into eternal space. But I didn't care because I was so free, and with every running-step, it took me eons away. Then I was suddenly in a beautiful place. There was a meadow to my left as it descended down a rolling hill with wildflowers. There was a lush, green forest in the distance beyond the meadow.

There were two people there with me. Behind these people, was a stone wall covered with ivy. That wall separated me from everything else in front of me. I could not see over it or around it. One of the people was like a gardener with a rake. It seemed to me that he was absently raking the stones or the gravel in front of the wall. It reminded me of how Buddhists monks make calming designs in gravel. But I had the feeling that he was paying attention to what was happening with me and the other person. I later felt that this person, whose face I could never see, was probably my deceased father. My father and I had had a rocky relationship during my childhood and teenage years and up until the time he had died. I felt that he wanted to be there to know that I was o.k. and for me to know that he deeply loved me, in spite of some of the things that had happened between us. He died when I was age 21 and I never got to repair our relationship. I had always wanted to resolve my anger towards him and my deep fear of him.

The other person is difficult to describe. He was made of love. Everything about him exuded love and defined what love really is. He took me into his arms and just held me there. He fed me that love; that calm and peaceful love.

My life had been so painful for so long. I was trying so hard to just live for our young children. I was trying to maintain some sense of purpose rather than being a very sick and costly burden. That moment, when I was so gently held by this person, I felt healed of my deepest grieving and my greatest loneliness. I felt he had answered my most unasked questions, told me I was unquestionably and deeply valued and loved just as I was. It was all communicated to me without any words whatsoever.

Then I woke up in the ICU. 

NDERF.org

Gödel's reasons for an afterlife

Alexander T. Englert, “We'll meet again,” Aeon , Jan 2, 2024, https://aeon.co/essays/kurt-godel-his-mother-and-the-a...