"Love is everything, does everything" . . .

After the pain, everything changed. I left my body and didn’t look back at my physical body because I didn’t want to. I looked only at the tunnel and at the light. I was drawn into that tunnel.

The walls of this tunnel were mainly covered with photos. I was physically in all the pictures, but I didn’t recognize myself in all of them. I remember stopping to take a closer look at one of these pictures. In the picture, I was with several people, sitting in the back of a red convertible, and driving in a sunny spot. There were five of us in the car, and we were all happy. We were laughing together. I didn’t recognize myself and the others, I just know it was me. With reflection, I have come to think that these photos could be images of my previous lives memories that are stored on the energetic fence of my soul. Analogous to if the tunnel represented the walls of my Soul and when I arrived there I was in a state of pure spirit.

Sitting on the red convertible, my physical body was totally different from the one I have today. That’s why the photo affected me that much and surely because it contained an important memory.

In the tunnel everything went so fast. But somehow, I had the time to see all the photos if I wanted to. There was no time. It was like time no longer existed and that it never existed. I feel that only in the non-physical state can a person understand this notion of “without time” or the non-existence of time because it seems impossible to describe it on Earth.

At the end of the tunnel, I found myself in a totally white place made of light. Nothing there was material, only the immense, white light. There was no end or beginning. It was like being inside an infinite sea of light, with gentle pink waves.

The light was not blinding and it was so beautiful. And above all, it was so warm. This white place was full of love, sweetness, warmth and peace. But I felt Love at its highest when three immense columns of light came in front of me. These columns of light were esoteric beings. I have never felt a love such as this one. The love that they have for me and that I have for them, is indescribable.

No one on Earth knows me more than they do and I know no one more than I know them. I am part of them as they are a part of myself. Even my sister, with who I am very close, and even my mother, seemed and still seem to me like strangers compared to the three of these Beings. I know there are many more of these Beings where I come from. They are my family. I cannot describe this love because, it can only be felt as it exceeds our understanding of love on earth. Nothing can be used to compare it. The love we have on Earth is not really love, it is rather an educational love to teach us what Love is. We destroy love, we condition it, we suppress it, and we change it, thinking we know what love is. But Love is everything, love does everything, and love must be understood. Love is totally misunderstood and Earth is a great school and opportunity to teach us about Love.

These three pure Beings spoke to me in a different language. They used my thoughts but it was different than thoughts. They reminded me that I had chosen to be incarnate on Earth and that I had to go back. I already knew that by being by their side, everything was coming back to me. They gave me so much love. I was at home and I badly wanted to stay. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to go back. That’s how it had to be. I remember laughing a lot with them. They understood me. They knew the difficulty of an incarnation, as well as I knew it before I incarnated on Earth.

I was so small compare to them. I didn’t see them entirely; they were too tall. It was like being at the foot of Hyperion, the highest tree of the world. Or it was like looking at a cloud that grew from the soil of Earth to rise up to the heavens. I didn’t see their faces, hands, or their legs. I don’t even know if they have any. They are light; love is light - I know that. A beautiful, pure column of light, that’s the only way I can describe them.

I know now, that the place where I met them was just a wonderful transition place. It was like a cross between several worlds and surely a cross between several universes. But I can tell you that even in this place of transition, no cravings exist, no fears, and no lacking for anything. I had everything. I was everything and I didn’t need anything. I knew it and I understood. Everything was simple, in its place. Everything was pure and unconditional love. There were no rules, and all decisions belonged to me. Nobody decided for me. These three beautiful Beings helped me get back to Earth.

I don’t know how long I was there for; it could have been a month was like a second, or a year like a day. It’s impossible to say.

So, I went back. I had to. I went down that tunnel and looked at the pictures. I can’t tell if they were the same pictures, but they were there. After the tunnel, I came into the living room and was on the ceiling. My physical body was lying on the couch and all my friends were around me. They were stressed while moving and touching my body.

When I returned to my body it was very difficult and I was in pain. It was a physical pain but also, a pain in my soul. I was choking, feeling uncomfortable and cold. The contrast was like being in a huge lake of pure, clear, and warm water, with this pure water becoming me, covering me with love, extending my being to the sky. Then suddenly, finding myself inside a small box open to a dark rainy sky, in a deserted cold street in town, where every drop of rain that fell on me, brought ice into every inch of my blood.  

NDERF.org #8935

Jesus gives hope and purpose during NDE

At the time of my experience, I had a very hard life with disease and I had a feeling of disorientation. I was religious, being Catholic, but found no happiness in this denomination. Additionally, my wife passed after long suffering with cancer. Nursing her gave my life a purpose and was blocking out my inner turmoil. But after her passing, these questions arose again and I didn't find any answers. I was extremely exhausted due to the long nursing period. In short, I didn't see a sense in continuing my life and was trying to kill myself with my wife's remaining pain medications.

I was dozing off for some time. When suddenly, I was startled because I was literally ejected out of my body. I was wide awake and floating above my body. It looked so unfamiliar from a bird's eye view. I left the room and the house. The journey stopped in endless space. Gradually, I became aware of the presence of spiritual beings, but didn't pay them any attention. 'Seeing' was a pleasurable experience because everything was seen and perceived through consciousness. Perception and understanding was amazing; happening immediately. I marveled at how slow is the mind in comparison to this.

At first, there was a slow forward motion. But I didn't know why I was moving or where I was going. Suddenly, the destination of the journey seemed to be clear. Then, the forward speed increased like going into hyperdrive. I was rushing through worlds at amazing speed. The only thing I perceived was the alternating of the different colors and light intensities. With this, I always was floating about half a meter above the ground. I didn't feel any resistance at all; no friction due to the velocity.

Finally, I reached the destination. Around me it was pitch-dark. I perceived the presence of many beings. They gave me the impression of being slow and especially dull. They didn't speak together. They even seemed not to notice the darkness because they were so much involved with themselves. I was thinking, 'Here, I'm at the wrong place. I don't feel well here!'

Even though it was pitch-dark I could see distinctly that I was standing on the shore of a lake. I didn't have the time to think about my condition because I could see a boat far away. Standing upright in the boat, there was a man holding a lantern and he was looking towards us. I immediately knew him. It was Jesus! No wonder he was the only light to be seen far and wide. But I didn't care about him. I was completely lethargic about him. Finally he came ashore and stayed about an arm's length away from me. He looked at me with indescribably shiny, loving eyes and gave me a hug. I was immediately surrounded in brightness. Immediately, all my worries and burdens fell away from me. It was simply wonderful being bathed in bliss and love! Suddenly, I was filled with a confidence that I never knew before. It was like I was a different person. It was immediately clear to me, that only my own thinking had been limiting my potential. He was 'talking to me in my mind' and told me two things about my future; that I would find my spiritual master and reach the goal of spiritual effort otherwise known as 'self-fulfillment.'

How I came back to my body, I don't know. I had been in a coma for three days at home, and later on at the intensive care station. What I remember next, is looking for my room in the psychiatric ward. I couldn't remember my room number and all the doors looked the same.

In the same week when I was back home, a working friend told me that she wanted to reduce her private library and asked me if I may have any interest in a book of Ramana Maharshi, an Indian mystic. I had never heard of him, but I remembered Jesus' words that I would find my spiritual teacher. The book captivated me from the beginning and it became my life's compass. Twenty years later,the second declaration of Jesus came true. How terrible would it have been if my suicide had been successful and I would have seen how my life could blossom. I had no idea that it could change in a way that I never could have dreamed of. 

NDERF.org #8950

Guardian angel Michael held her hand during NDE

I woke up the morning of October 31, 1990 from a strange dream that I was pregnant again. It felt like a baby was in the womb and my belly was round with a baby. I noticed that my period had arrived and I was bleeding heavily. I was surprised because I had been breast feeding. I called the Doctor's office and they said that it was probably normal but to keep a watch on it. I packed up my newborn baby girl and book bag. Then I took a city bus to the University to attended classes that morning with my baby. I felt fine. It was only on the bus ride back home, at about 10:30 AM, that I felt something roll out of my body and down my pant leg when I stood up to get off the bus. Much to my horror, I realized it was a blood clot the size of a softball. I picked my clot up as people gasped and stared at me. I made the decision that I wasn't going to be able to make the few blocks walking to make it back home. I crossed the street to the Hospital. I only made it as far as the grass out front of the emergency room. I was gushing blood and started to get dizzy and light headed. I tried to get the attention of two emergency room paramedics who were smoking out front. But, I couldn't make a sound louder than a whisper. I tried to fall with my arms outstretched so that I didn't fall on my baby newborn girl. I passed out while falling to the ground with my baby in my arms.

Next thing I remember was waking up in the emergency room. I was receiving emergency blood transfusions and told that I had probably retained placenta from birth. They told me that they would need to do an emergency D&C to help scrape my uterus. I then was taken to surgery. I was in surgery three more times that day, yet they couldn't stop the bleeding. I was given an experimental drug that was suppose to 'seize' my uterus and make it 'clamp' down to get the blood loss to stop. It caused me to stop breathing instead. They were able to revive me and thought that they had 'fixed' me. They took me to the maternity ward to recover and be reunited with my newborn daughter who needed to be breastfed. The nurse who helped me to deliver her on October 1st was just getting starting her shift. She brought me a plate of food to try to get me to eat. When I tried to sit up to, the hemorrhaging started again and it was even worse than before. I was pretty weak. They called a crash cart and asked me for my parents phone number. I was shaking, cold, and going into shock. They weren't able to get a reading on my blood pressure and my resting heart rate started to elevate. It was going 130 beats per minute and then it was going over 150 bpm. I was in pain because the blood was leaving my head and arms and legs. They stuck a big needle in my neck and started pumping blood directly into my neck. I knew that was dying and not going to make it. My heart went up to 180 and then over 200. The amount of pain was unbearable. I was scared and didn't want to die but couldn't take pain anymore. Every cell in my body was screaming due to the lack of oxygen. I was given over 56 units of blood. I was scared and so were the doctors and the nurse. I remember a Doctor told me that they were going to operate and take my uterus out. He said that I might not survive the operation because I was so weak. I was asked to sign a medical waiver. A catholic priest came into the room to give me last prayers. I could not longer move or talk or blink. The pain was too much. When my heart rate hit 220, I heard them say I was in defibrillation. They were trying to shock my heart. I couldn't even use my eyes anymore. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't breath. I learned what it means to lose total control.

At my darkest and lowest and saddest moment, I realized that I wasn't alone. I realized that I had a guardian angel just to the right of me. I knew his name was Michael. He was holding my hand. I realized that there was a second angel who was next to Michael. I rose above my body. I could see the doctors were very scared. I could see that my body was blue in color and in very grave condition. I was drawn into the hallway because I could hear my daughter crying for me. I tried to comfort the doctors and nurses. I wanted to tell them that it was okay. I could hear and see that nurses were fighting about me in the hallway and upset that I been taken up to the maternity ward. I should have been in intensive care unit (ICU) or the emergency room. At some point, a veil lifted. I was drawn into a long, dark tunnel that had a very bright, white light that was shining love. I could hear harps and saw my great uncle Harry Ed and Aunt Vickie. I was in total bliss and happiness. I was home. I didn't want to go back. I had a life review where I saw ever single event from my life. I saw every act of goodness and kindness. I saw every act of spite or ill-will. I also got to see it from the other person's point of view. Although time did not exist, this life review took forever but in reality it was only a blink of a second. I didn't want to go back because I was surrounded by love and the light was god. I realized that we are all brothers and sisters. We all love each other very much but we live in fear on earth and that prevents us from realizing and remembering that were all connected. I felt such incredible love.

I saw courtyards with beautiful vibrant roses that were more colorful than on earth. I saw colors that do not exist. I understood infinity and all the knowledge of the universe. I saw white buildings that were open and in the sky. They reminded me of buildings from Greece and Athens. I saw the future for my children and I, where I came to understand that their father was not to play a role in our lives. I was told this so that I could be strong and still love him, even if he was away. I was liberated. I no longer had to love or try to please this person. I knew I had to go back, but I really wanted to stay. I knew that it would hurt to go back to my body. I truly knew that this was home. The bright light filled everything and was totally god's love - unconditional and filled with such joy and peace!

I woke up in the ICU. After resuming my life, I found that nothing in life was as hard as coming back. I found that school was easy and all of life's challenges are a breeze. I am not afraid of death! I can read people's minds and see into the future. I see articles on TV or in the paper and I'm reading them 31 days into the future. I have dreams that come true and I get to visit Michael the angel or my loved ones or pets that have crossed over. I come sometimes heal people or start engines or charge batteries or open doors with my mind. I've been the person to arrive to car accidents or suicides or drug overdoes on dozens of occasions. I have performed CPR and brought people back to earth or helped them to pass over. I was not surprised when the father of my child died a few years later. I had already been given that knowledge. Michael told me telepathically. We did not have to use words. I know when I'm going to die or may come close to it once again. I learned that everything we do matters. Even the person you smile to on your way to the bakery or work. Even the creatures big and small that you bend over to pet. Nothing goes unnoticed. It all matters. My purpose is to stand up for the meek, to be compassionate, but most of all is to love. 

NDERF.org #9029

"The liquid love flowed through my heart."

In the middle of the night, I awoke with a severe migraine. I'd experienced occasional migraines since I was a teenager, but this particular migraine was extremely painful and I should have sought treatment at the Emergency Room. However, since I had very young children at the time, I didn't want to wake them or my husband, so I attempted to treat myself. I took my prescription migraine medication, but it did not provide any relief from the pain. Instead of waiting an hour before taking the second dose as the instructions advised, I waited 20 minutes and took the second dose. I also took two over-the-counter pills for migraine. I have always been very sensitive to medications, but at the time I did not consider this. I was only focused on relieving the intense pain. After taking the medications, I became very sleepy and returned to bed. When I drifted off to sleep, I would awaken by gasping for breath. I quickly realized that when I drifted off to sleep, I stopped breathing. I was fearful I would fall asleep and die. I said a very simple prayer, 'Dear God, please don't let me die. I want to be a mother and a wife.' As I said the prayer, I doubted God would hear me. At that time in my life, I felt insignificant. I was not sure God existed, and if He did, I didn't think he would know me. But I was about to be proven wrong.

Immediately after praying, I felt a presence come over my bed. I was lying on my back with my eyes closed, but I could sense a shadow had been cast as something moved over my body and then stood next to my bed. As soon as I felt the presence, I was frightened and I heard a Bible verse in my mind, 'An angel of the Lord stood by them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.' I realized I had received the Bible verse telepathically and an angel had arrived to help me. Then it felt as if the angel slipped his hand directly into my stomach. I felt a sensation unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Static was moving in my stomach and throughout my torso. I also saw in my mind's eye a vision of black and white static, as like on a tv set without reception. At the same time, I felt my deceased father's presence and I could hear him speaking into my right ear. He repeatedly said, 'You're going to be ok, you're going to be ok, you're going to be ok.' 

As the angel stood to my left and my father spoke to me from my right, a very large, powerful presence hovered over the length of my body. When I noticed the large presence, my inner vision was changed to that of a crystal blue waterfall. The water was sparkling clear and the most beautiful blue I have ever seen. As I marveled at the sight of the water, the static sensation in my torso dissipated and was replaced with a sensation of liquid love rushing into my heart. The love was so pure and overwhelming that I immediately began to weep. The liquid love flowed through my heart and filled up my chest cavity to the point that I could not expand my lungs to inhale. I was aware of having difficulty breathing, but it did not concern me. I was so blissed out from the love, that nothing else mattered. I had the realization of, 'This must be God.' It was so large, infinite, and powerful, that I just knew it could have no other name than God. Once I realized I was in the presence of God, my next thought was, 'Oh no, God is going to judge me for taking too much medication.' I waited for the judgement. It did not come. I moved into the flow of God, searching for His judgement. No judgement was there. Not a speck. Only pure, adoring love was in the infinite flow of God.

At this point I lost awareness of my body. I did not recall I was a mother, wife, daughter, friend. I had no recollection of life on earth. I merged into an infinite presence that utterly and completely adored me. God did not speak words to me. The love said it all. I felt as if I was an awareness, a being without a name or identity, and I was expanding to the size of the cosmos. I was home. I realized home was where I wanted to remain forever and in my blissed-out state, it took all the energy I could muster to telepathically communicate, 'Take me.' With these two words, I was attempting to communicate that I wanted to remain in the pure love forever. As my presence continued to expand in a state of bliss, it felt as if I was nearing a point where I would explode into a billion atoms and forever be with God. I mentally prepared myself for the explosion and gladly welcomed it. At the very last millisecond before the explosion of my being and my total emergence into infinity, Go

NDERF,org #9268

During NDE guided by his deceased grandmas

I was a latch-key kid and also the type that hated staying home. I had been sick in bed with pneumonia, for a week. On Friday, my parents were at work. I decided enough was enough and headed off to school. We lived in the country and my school was about a mile away. It was a gray overcast, rainy day. I walked to school in my windbreaker and baseball cap. By the time I got to school, I was soaked to the bone. I slid into class and, after about an hour, I felt really bad. By lunchtime, I decided to leave school to go home. By the time I walked in the door, I was delirious. I walked out of my clothes and fell into bed. I remember coughing and coughing, and feeling so, so sick. I was so cold.

Slowly everything went dark. I heard a roar of what sounded like an engine, and then there was nothing. I remember standing up and seeing my body lying in my bed. I felt very calm. I turned to see my grandmother standing there in her pink dress. I knew it wasn't her as she had passed away only months before. She smiled and held out her hand. I took her hand and the next thing I knew I was flying and moving incredibly fast! There were these beautiful beings all around me. I began to cry.

One of them stopped me abruptly. They all surrounded me; they were lovely and full of love. One reached out and touched my chest. The touch was so warm that it seemed to smile. They talked to me without moving their mouths; I actually can't remember if they had mouths. They took me by the hands and we flew to a golden city that was surreal in color. Another Being approached me who was different and older than the rest. We talked for what seemed like forever. Then the Being placed its hand on my shoulder and BAM!

I was on an escalator in some shopping mall, to which I had never been. I was on the up-escalator. At the top of the escalator, waiting for me, were both of my deceased grandmas dressed in their Sunday best dresses. I remember their words as if this happened yesterday. ’Well, little man, you have quite the journey ahead, but this is not your time’. They began to tell me things that would happen in my life, like the woman I would eventually meet, fall in love with, and marry. They showed me the death of my cousin, and told me I must return to my body. Before I left, they said I would live a long and prosperous life, and then BOOM!

I felt pain; I heard the sound of a thousand freight trains. I opened my eyes to see our next-door neighbor who was a nurse. She was on the floor bent over me, with eyes full of tears. She started crying. I was very confused and embarrassed that I was lying there in only my underwear. 'Are you okay?' I asked. She smiled and hugged me. Her husband came rushing into the room. He looked gray and older. About five minutes later, a fire truck and an ambulance arrived. My mom and dad came home a short time after that.

I found out later that the school had called my mom and asked why I went home. She told them that I wasn't at school and that I was home sick still. She then called home and after I didn't answer she called the neighbor to check on me. When the neighbor came over, she found me. I was not breathing and did not have a heartbeat. She screamed for her husband and then started CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation). She said she worked on me for 10 minutes and was about to stop when I awoke. 

NDERF.org #7511

In NDE, "A halo of light surrounded me."

I was not feeling well and I wasn’t paying attention to my driving. I reached an intersection and looked to both sides of the street without much care. I did not see any cars coming, so I continued along my way. Suddenly, I heard a loud car horn followed by a loud crashing sound. At that moment, I found myself floating in a dark space. I was outside my body, floating in the air and just looking around.

I saw a body lying in the middle of the street next to a car. I was looking at it from several feet away. It took me a little while to recognize that it was my own body that I am looking at. I had no feelings for it; I was just an indifferent observer. I thought to myself that I must have died, but I was not sad at all. I didn't know where I was supposed to go from there. My thoughts and mind were the same as when I was in of my physical life, but I could not imagine the earthly thoughts.

After a short while, I gave up the worry of where I need to go from here, because I was enjoying the peace and silence. I was immersed in that moment. I was just watching from several feet up in the air as people were rushing towards my body from every direction. I couldn't hear their voices clearly, yet I was able to comprehend what they were saying. When I looked at these people, I knew their thoughts and what they were going to say.

Since there was a hospital on the same street where the accident occurred, it didn't take long for the ambulance to arrive. The medics put my body on a stretcher and transferred me to the ambulance. The driver turned on the sirens and sped towards the hospital. In the ambulance, the emergency medical team injected something into my body but it was no use. My body did not respond. Although I was detached from my body, I still felt like I was also somehow inside of my body too. Nevertheless, I was not feeling discomfort or pain. At the same time, I was feeling that I was going higher and higher each second.

I was floating like on a wave and felt so light. At the beginning and end of the accident, everything was moving so fast. When I exited my body, it was in another form, that was transparent and non-physical, yet it was similar to a human form. Although I saw the new form, I wasn’t giving it any thought. I was feeling pleasantly warm, could not smell or taste and did not have any bodily physical senses. I could not feel physical things, but my eyesight was greatly enhanced. I felt like I had turned into energy.

I was flying and entered into a gray-colored environment. I tried to reach a gray and dusty light that was moving in front of me. As I got closer to this light, it became brighter. The light looked like a vapor or smoke that is lit up under a street light. It was formless and had colors of blue, orange, yellow, and gold. I didn't know what it was. The light didn't bother my eyes and wasn’t blinding. I was pulled towards the light with great force. The closer I got to it, the more joy and peace I felt. After a while, I noticed Beings similar to me but they were more brilliantly colored and were moving slower than me. Then I was surrounded by my deceased relatives. I was feeling so much joy and lightness from seeing them. I felt they were there to help me. Their body was transparent and luminous. It never occurred to me to ask them questions like where am I, where am I going, what will happen to me, am I dead? They didn't talk to me either.

A halo of light surrounded me into itself. My life and all of its events started to play in my mind, but it was very clear, real, and alive. It was like a slideshow, but I experienced all the feelings in these events again. Everything was shown in chronological order. Although this whole life review only took minutes, it was pleasant and interesting to me. Once my life review stopped, my mind started to analyze my life and my actions. I felt that overall, I was relatively kind to people.

After that, I felt freedom. The halo of light left me and I felt like I have to return to the physical life. I was trying to avoid this from happening because I was experiencing new and pleasant things. But I automatically left that environment and moved into a grayish-blue environment and was put into a supine position and slowly, with no effort, returned back into the ambulance. The ambulance entered the hospital and they transferred my body into the intensive care unit. My floating Being could easily pass through the walls. It was like as I got close to a wall, it would go away. I could not feel any physical thing or barrier. I knew I was moving, yet I could not feel the motion. I entered the operating room, positioned somewhere close to the ceiling. Doctors and nurses were surrounding my body, but no one noticed me up by the ceiling. They were massaging my chest area. A nurse inserted a tube into my throat and used that to give me breathing. Another doctor injected something in my body. But my body was not responding. I heard a doctor shout, ‘code pink!’

Right then, as I was floating in the air, I passed through something fixed and light, which I felt from my side. An immense feeling of loneliness, depression, and fear engulfed me. I knew that my communication with others was cut off and I could not speak to people. I felt if I don't enter my body again, I would die forever. I was sad for my family and friends and how they would feel after my death. I could imagine and feel their feelings. On the other hand, there were important works I needed to finish and I thought I am too young to die. Nevertheless, I wanted to stay in this pleasant non-physical environment. I felt I need to decide quickly whether to stay in my body or outside of it. I felt that I cannot stay outside for too long or I would die permanently. So I decided to return.

During all this time the medical staff were trying hard to save me. Several times, they gave me an electric shock, but I didn't feel anything. However, I felt I am getting heavier and being pulled down towards my body. It was like their effort was working. When they shocked me again after several times, my body jumped up. I felt I entered my body like a solid object, with a jerk. I felt I am inside my body and heard the nurse shout, "Wow, it worked!"

When I was entering my body, I heard a whistle and felt I am in an open and dark space that is like a funnel and am entering my body from the head. After I entered my body, I felt lots of intense pain. I think I was out for 15 to 20 minutes. For several days, I was not in the natural state. When I healed a little bit, my doctor told me, "You passed a critical state." I said that I know and told him my entire experience from the beginning to the end. He was amazed and speechless.

Since that experience, my mind and soul is more important for me than my body. Some say that I have a healing effect on them. Now I feel I get along better with people and have more tolerance for them. I can better understand their feelings and what is going on inside them. This experience has changed my life and my thinking. I am no longer afraid of dying, as I have experienced it once.


From Gonbade Kavoos, Iran -Winter of 1996, NDERF.org #16074

 

During NDE "it seemed like I knew everything."

I had lost a lot of blood from liver failure and had to be rushed from Lao to Thailand in an ambulance and by the time I arrived at the hospital I was in a very bad way. I was put into the intensive care unit and they started blood transfusion but I was losing too much blood. I was conscious but in extreme pain and tried to doze on and off, while they kept putting tubes in and out doing tests etc., etc. This went on through the night and more blood was flown from Bangkok the next morning. I remember the doctor saying that a specialist was going to use a scope that they would enter into my stomach. This would be uncomfortable and hurt but they needed to stop the bleeding as I was fading very fast. I was already in extreme pain like I had never experienced before and it seemed that every hair and atom in my body just screamed with pain.

I remember being rolled on my side so they could place the tube into my mouth and then I blacked out. All of a sudden, there was no pain and I remember distinctly a humming noise like the sound of very powerful electrical current that was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. It is so hard to explain but it is like a hummmmm but as if the most perfect orchestra in the world played it. You probably won't understand that part but it was very distinctive.

The next I remember was seeming to become part of everything but moving with huge fluorescent light structures that formed waves and were perfect in size and movement and the light was perfect. For some reason everything seemed to all of a sudden make sense, the world, myself, everything was answered in an instant and it seemed I knew everything. There were no beings but energy like myself that was part of everything. There was no coolness, heat, wind, or anything just perfect fluorescent lights that controlled all the structure and gently everything moved in waves. I then just remember coming back and the doctor and everyone was standing over me panicking and the pain started to come back again.  

NDERF.org #2851