July 3, 2021, my husband and I had an argument. I felt that I was tired of living and it was time to do something about it. I took more than 10 pills that would accomplish my goal. My husband forced me to drink a lot of milk to try to make me vomit. At that moment, I felt calm. So, I decided to shower. I started to feel a cold sweat and that my heart wanted to leave my chest. I could not stop talking. Then, I again felt a huge despair and started heavily sweating despite the air conditioning being on. Hours passed as I continued to feel that way. I just thought that the milk had prevented the worst of what those pills could do and that I was feeling the effects of a hangover.
Later that night, we got ready to sleep. I felt my body going numb and I couldn't move. It started in my legs, then it went to my hands. I felt like my eyes were being emptied from the inside. I was trying hard to keep my eyes open, but this was very difficult. I felt my chest tighten every time I tried to breathe. Even my tongue was numb. I was able to tell my husband what was happening to me. He insisted on taking me to the hospital. I felt scared and at the same time, I was at peace with myself. I managed to say goodbye to him and that I loved him very much. I asked him to please take good care of my daughter. I was so afraid for her and kept thinking about her little face.
I saw something white and a lot of light, but thinking about my daughter made me open my eyes again. I saw myself on the bed, next to my husband. I was alive but could also feel the moment when my heart was not beating. I told him, 'I'm going to die.'
It was as if a heavy object had been placed on my eyelids. Although I tried to open my eyes like previously, this time I did not succeed.
I began to see a round, very long, and completely white tunnel. I did not see a light at the end. I looked desperately around me. I wanted to see my husband again and I could only see the face of my 7 year-old daughter. I did not want to find her in such an empty and sad place. I only thought of her and apologized for having given up.
Finally I reached the end of the tunnel. There was a precipice that emptied in the sky. I knew if I left the tunnel, that I would enter heaven. My dad appeared out of nowhere and kissed my forehead. He pushed very hard against my chest. At that moment, I felt my husband's voice desperately screaming at me to wake up. I pretended they were giving me an electroshock. I only remember that I touched it and squeezed it because I did not believe what had happened to me. I told my husband, 'I am here with you. Do you see me?' He started crying and told me that I had stopped breathing and my eyes were blank. He also said that I was very cold.
My body went into shock and with great fear and nervousness, I tried to understand what had happened to me. I then understood that I had died in the arms of my husband and that my father had sent me back to his arms. I was safe and sound, ready to love life enjoy living. At that moment, I no longer remembered anything bad in my life. I don't feel that I am the same person inside my body. Another person was born today, July 4th 2021. I don't remember anything about my previous personality and I feel an indescribable peace.
NDERT.org # 9234
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