"My experience of death was wonderful."

Hilda Middleton reports in Peter Fenwick's The Truth in the Light: "In 1986 I was rushed into Bradford Royal Infirmary and underwent emergency surgery. I spent five weeks in intensive care, then a further four months in a ward. My experience of death was wonderful. Down a tunnel with a very bright light at the end. Animals, pictures, everything was so beautiful and all the colors were shades of delicate pink, yellow, blue etc. I was overwhelmed with joy. I truly believe I was on the brink of death. I cannot have made up a story like this. I was told a long time afterwards by my relatives that I did die at the time I entered the intensive care unit, but it was not to be. I heard my dad’s voice calling me back. I was on the critical list. No hope was given to my family and now here I am with my life. My experience has had a profound effect on my life. I thank the Lord for every new day, but if death is the wonderful experience I had, I’m not afraid of death."

 

At peace despite life-threatening accident

I instantly found myself above the accident in a distance that was three to four times tree height. The accident occurred outside and although I saw my horse get up and my trainer run toward someone on the ground, I did not realize that it was me. I did not feel scared or confused. I felt calm and curious about the activities below. I was too high up to see the people in enough detail to identify them. I felt as if my back was against a barrier. I knew the barrier was not visible to me; but, if I turned around and examined it, that I would move through it. I did not question this knowledge.

Beings, loved ones, or friends did not meet me. I did not see 'the light'. The feeling of total calm and peace did engulf me. My focus moved from the people, and I found myself very curious about a row of pine trees along the right fence line and how it looked. I remember thinking, 'So, that is what they look like from up here!' In actuality, I don't recall ever wondering about this before. But, at this moment, the trees were far more interesting than the people. Suddenly and with no warning, I was in my body.

I was covered in blood from a head wound. My trainer was cradling me in his arms. I could hear an ambulance approaching the stable and then drive past and the sirens faded as they drove away unable to locate us at first. Normally, I would have been terrified that I was going to die. But I had a peace over me. I simply and truly knew that I would be fine. Not only that I would be fine, that I was fine.

The ambulance eventually found us and I was taken to a hospital where it was determined that I had a broken collar bone, a major laceration on my temple, a severe concussion and severe road rash on my back and legs from the force of my body crushing the plywood coup jump. I cannot state how improbable it was that I survived this accident. How was my back not snapped in half by the force of a 1500 pound horse crushing me while my back hit a 4 foot high wooden pyramid shaped coup and then the 2 of us fell to the ground once it collapsed. I walked away that night from the hospital.

The gift that I received was dΘjα vu that at times is so powerful that I can tell someone exactly what will be said and who will enter the room. It is very disorienting because I truly feel that I have already done this. Not just once, but over and over like I am on a loop reel. I can't explain this adequately and the incidents I have no control over when they occur or why it happens on the most ridiculous events, very trivial events, but important. For years, I did not realize what happened to me until I heard of stories about others that did not see the light. So glad I am not alone. 

NDERF.org, #7105

 

Lisa Tesch survives three near-death experiences

The first NDE was totally unexpected, it was a beautiful day and I was feeling well. It was an event that took place without any warning, when I felt an eerie feeling I cried out to Jesus to save me. When my head hit the floor, I felt an intense pain in my head.

Suddenly, my spirit left my body and floated up into the rafters of the old farmhouse. From there it went to the next level where I was lovingly embraced into this beautiful golden amber light, I felt totally protected, loved, and I became one with the Light: totally and completely. There are really no words to express the intense and complete love I felt. When my Spirit re-entered my body there was no one around, it was as though the Lord breathed Life back into me. The difficult part was not having anyone at such an age to share this with. No one would have understood it; this was something I had to put in the back of my mind. It was sacred and it was Holy. To this day, I still struggle in sharing all three of my stories to a degree, because unless one goes through it, it is difficult to express the depths of love one receives. When I came-to after my first experience, I was sad that I was back here on earth. I struggled with that, I was never told I would be coming back, but like the event itself, it was done without warning.

The other two NDE's made me aware of the fact that Life and Death is more than precious, death can come without ANY warning, that we need to be ready, at any time. It has also helped me in the grieving process when I lost my dad, and other members of my family or friends that I have loved. It is a reassurance that there is so much more waiting for them. I was ten years old and suffered from a sudden death episode. My head hit the floor and I felt the pain of the impact. Instantly my spirit lifted out of my body and up into the old rafters of the farm house, for what was a very short time.

Then I began being lifted up into this glorious golden light, it was like a golden/amber colored bubble of pure love, no pain, joy, peace, happiness, contentment. I had no thoughts of what had taken place. I was totally embraced in what I believe was the arms of the living God. I became one with Him. Every thought was telepathic, I had never felt such an intense love, then as a leaf falls from a tree, I began to look down, and when I did, my spirit began to re-enter my body and what has been 41 years of discomfort. Being only ten, I tried my best to understand what took place, but I had no one with whom to share my story. It would become my sacred secret. I was afraid that if I had shared my story, I would be called crazy; so I remained quiet.

What I didn’t know at the time was when my head hit the floor I had cracked the back of my skull: this was later confirmed by x-rays. The second life and death experience took place in California in 1982, at that time I was 19 years old. I had moved to California, hoping to start a new beginning from the previous 19 years. One hot summer day, some family and friends decided to go behind one of the homes where there was a river. It was quite cold and very deep. I did not know how to swim, I had never been taught. But my friends had been life guards and had reassured me that they would be nearby if I needed any help. I jumped into the frigid waters, not understanding that I should not have swallowed water. I managed to get to the top twice, on the third attempt I suddenly saw what appeared before my eyes as an old movie screen of my life being played out: from the very day of my birth, all the way to what would have been my funeral. As I watched my family crying, I cried out, ‘No! No!’ Instantly, I was lifted up out of the water and brought to shore, where everyone was quite concerned. I never told anyone what I had seen, but was told I had jumped into a current and went quite a long distance before they could get to me.

The third NDE took place in Florida. I was now a wife and mother and was having a medical procedure called an angiogram, which needed to be performed. I was quite concerned about the test. (My Dad had died from the same procedure many years earlier.) I asked the doctors if there was any other test that could be done, instead, to receive their answers. The answer was ‘no’. The day of the test was one filled with anxiety for me, and I was constantly being reassured that I would be fine and they do this all the time, as I was in a Heart Center. As the procedure began, I moaned with the discomfort I was feeling, as I continued to pray silently. I suddenly recognized that everything went pitch black. I felt no pain whatsoever. I was wondering what was taking place.

In seconds, I could hear the voices in the surgical unit where I felt my spirit lifted higher and higher until it popped out of my body and lifted up into the ceiling. I could see the room filled with doctors and nurses. My gown was torn off my body. Another female nurse came quickly to the side of the bed with a large bowl of iodine and a sponge and began to start rubbing my chest down, while another large man was on top of my body with his hands hitting my chest. Then he began pressing down on it. None of it hurt and I was amused by everything I was seeing. I realized that they were about to cut open my chest, once I realized that, I thought, ‘Wow, recovery is really going to hurt!’ I didn't more than think that, when I heard an audible voice, ‘Lisa, open your eyes!’ This was repeated three times, when I was finally able to open my eyes.

I was told by the medical staff that I went into V-tach and coded. [Editor’s Note: V-tach is a rapid heartbeat of more than 100 beats per minutes.] The procedure that was only to take an hour, took several hours. It was aborted, giving us no answers. In the 41 years since I had my first NDE, I have felt strongly that love is truly the greatest gift we can give to one another as well as receive: to embrace life. 

NDERF.org, 3519 Lisa T. 69188  See https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/377816

 

Ben knew he was ready for heaven

I am recording this experience on behalf of our son, Ben, who shared this NDE with us many times. He also shared it with the world in a YouTube video titled 'This is my story.' He passed away 17 days after his NDE, so he is not here to relay this experience himself. I am describing ONLY what he shared with us, his family. These are the words Ben shared with us on several occasions:

'I was walking from one class to the next (during his senior year in high school). The hall was really crowded. I knew I was about to faint, so I sat down on a bench in the Commons (a large gathering area in the middle of the high school). The next thing I know is that the EMS were above me working on me. I saw them put the defibrillator pads on my chest and saw that they were about to administer the shock. I passed out again.'

NOTE: The school nurse was at Ben's side by this time and verified in public documentation that he had already been 3 minutes without a pulse or breathing. She had already administered CPR to him, as did the school security officer. EMS had finally arrived by this time and was setting up the defibrillator. Ben had been passed out the entire time and was 'purple' according to the school nurse. So it is unclear how he could 'see' the EMS and what they were doing.

'I immediately found myself in a white room. It was pitch white. I also heard the quietest quiet I had ever heard. It was the most peace I had ever felt, just like the peace I felt when I was four when an angel had comforted me (after a 45 minute emergency in which Ben's blood sugar dropped to 14). I was in this pitch white room in front of a big mirror. I heard the lyrics from some music. It was the best sound ever. Better than any speakers I've ever heard. Kid Cudi (a rapper) was with me. I saw our reflection in a big mirror that was in front of me and thought we looked really, really good!! I couldn't believe how good we looked! I began to see my whole life play out in front of me in that mirror. I saw my whole life, everything I had done, and was proud of myself. It was the BEST feeling!

Kid Cudi put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Are you ready?' I said, 'Yes' and thought I was going on to heaven. Instead, I found myself back on the floor at school. It was so cold and bright. The brightness hurt my eyes. The white room was whiter and brighter but hadn't hurt my eyes. I wish I never would have come back and wish I could have just stayed there (in that peaceful white place). I think it was the waiting room to heaven, and I think God gave me that experience so I wouldn't be afraid of dying.  

NDERF.org #8975

Wife of deceased husband "feels" his presence

Julie, wife of Randy, who died while watching TV from his reclining chair, called Dr. Amatuzio to talk with her about her extraordinary experience.

“I had something happen to me after Randy died. I haven’t dared tell anyone about it, but Randy came to visit me.”

“Really!” I said.

“Yes. Really, he did. . . .”

“Tell me about it,” I said, feeling a shiver go through me.

“Well, as you probably know, Randy and I were married for seventeen years, and during all that wonderful time, we never spent a night apart. That first night after he died, I slept on the living room couch. We have two kids, a boy, twelve, and a girl, fourteen. I wanted to hear them if they were up during the night—and I wanted to be near his recliner. I didn’t sleep well at all, In face, I didn’t sleep at all. The second night, I gathered up my courage and lay down in our bed. I tossed and turned all night. You know, I could smell him on the sheets, and all I could really do was weep.”

As I listened to her, I thought of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s words in her book Living Until We Say Goodbye: "If we dare to love, we must have the courage to grieve."

Julie continued, “I was exhausted, numbly making funeral arrangements. The third night, when I got back in our bed, I started crying all over again. I’d reach for him and he wasn’t there. I think I finally fell asleep around 3 AM. At about 4 AM, I was awakened by the sound of footsteps in the hall. I sat up in bed, listening, thinking it might be my son. I had closed our bedroom door so that my sobbing wouldn’t wake up the children. Doctor, the next thing that happened was the most amazing thing that has ever happened in my life.” She paused and I waited.

“It was Randy; those were his footsteps. I saw him walk right through our bedroom door. It was dark. I don’t even have a nightlight, and I could see him clearly; he just glowed! He had a wonderful smile on his face and walked right up to the bed. I could believe my eyes. I was shocked! We talked for a long time. He told me what to do with our children and their future plans. We talked about finances and the property that I couldn’t see until I had that damn death certificate!” (I now began to understand her urgency and anger over the death certificate.) 

“But that was not all. I felt so calm, so reassured, so okay in his presence, for the first time in almost four days. I told him I didn’t want him to leave and what he said then will last be a lifetime. He sat on the bed next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He wiped the tears from my eyes and told me that our love would be forever—that whenever I needed him, to just think of him and he would com rushing to my side. He told me that I would feel his presence and love in my life many times and in many ways and that he would be there to help our children throughout their own lives. I can’t even put it all into words, Doctor. There are no words to describe the comfort that I felt . . . but there is more.

“When we finished talking, I felt overwhelmed and wrapped up in his love. As I said, we had never slept apart and always slept wrapped together like spoons. As far-fetched as this sounds, Randy then lay down in bed beside me and wrapped his arms around me.” 

Her voice shaking a little, she added, “I felt the weight of his body and the warmth of it. I slept soundly and contentedly for the first time in three days.”

“My, my, what a marvelous experience!” I said.

“Yes, when I awakened the next morning, I was overwhelmed and, most of all, comforted. I could feel that he was gone, but when I think of him now, I feel a warmth around my back and neck. I know that is his love.”

In Janis Amatuzio, Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living (New World Library, 2004), 111-113.

Dr. Robert Cole convinced of God's existence

At first, it was the Light, a brilliant, white light, without reflection and without glare. Then, the feeling... of quiet jubilation, of peace and incredible serenity enveloping me. It was not ecstasy or any feeling I could identify, except perhaps glory in the warmest most positive sense of the word. 

It was not at all similar to what I had experienced as an Air Force Medical Officer taking the USAF Physiological Training Program on 5 May 1960 at Lackland Air Force Base for flight officers and deliberately hyperventilating to see how that felt, and then, later deliberately taking off my Oxygen mask at a simulated (flight chamber) low oxygen, high altitude (? 20,000 feet) and experiencing the exhilaration of mild hypoxia as well as the other symptoms which occur physiologically during hypoxia and learning how to differentiate hyperventilation from hypoxia which is obviously important if you are flying at high altitudes or landing a plane.

During this time of jubilation and peace and serenity, I heard nothing, felt nothing, smelled nothing and had had no sense of pain and no sense of having a physical being. I did have the “feeling” that I was conversing with God and that I was being given important insights and facts about the nature of our being and the reasons for our existence that I must not forget and which I must communicate to others because of their incredible importance. I was given the impression that there is a God, a loving God and that it was the same God for all people.

There was more, I know that was communicated but I have little memory of anything specific. I do remember that somehow it was conveyed to me that it was not my time yet, and I had to return, that there was more for me "to be" and this was differentiated from anything I had to do.

I then started hearing very loud and unpleasant sounds- of paper ripping (in retrospect, possibly sterile envelopes of gauze pads) and then voices, men and women speaking in low murmurs- and then a voice saying “it’s almost time for lunch” and then another saying “he’s had a respiratory arrest”. I was still not feeling any pain and not seeing anything at all (the white light had vanished).

My recuperation was slow and I spent about 4 weeks in the hospital (and then 4 weeks in a rehab hospital.) While in the hospital ICU I attempted to “check” myself out to see if indeed my “experience” which I recalled immediately, was because I was brain damaged secondary to hypoxia. (I am a physician with formal training in neurology and psychiatry).

I remember that my thinking initially was confused, that I could not remember the last six presidents, or subtract 7 from 100 or spell world backwards. Finally, however, I had the wits to ask what pills they were giving me and realized I had the right to refuse the haloperidol and other sedating pills they were giving me.

Soon, I was able to remember the past 6 presidents, to subtract 7’s from 100, spell world backwards and I did not feel I was hearing or seeing things that were not actually there, but I remained reluctant to share my “experience” until I was safely home. Even then I was reluctant to share my experience except with those I trusted and whom I trusted would tell me if what I was saying seemed psychotic or brain damaged or if I was behaving in a peculiar manner.

Since my surgical recovery, I have resumed practice as a Psychiatrist and now include, as part of my history, taking a few non-directive questions regarding any unusual experiences people might have had during an accident or a surgical procedure. I’ve also have had two patients spontaneously report to me what they had previously told no one, and wrote out reports for me that are variants of my own experience, but they had said nothing previously for fear of being called 'crazy' (Neither patient was being treated by me for a psychotic illness).

Was my experience secondary to a flooding of my temporal lobe, or God Spot activated by ketamines, a potentially hallucinogenic chemical, as some suggest? The cross-cultural nature of the experiences confuses rather than clarify… some cultures see caves, other tunnels of light. Could it indeed have been secondary to hypoxia? My own experience with hypoxia in a tightly controlled environment in the Air Force was not in any way comparable to the feelings I experienced while seeing the 'light'.

Could there be micro-tubules or fields of energy that envelope each of us and in which our 'spirit' resides when we physically die, even if the 'death' is brief as in the Near Death Experiences?

Or, leaving the most imponderable for last, was it a true 'religious' experience proving the existence of God?

I have just become aware of a study by scientists at the University of Chicago-- soon to be published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, finding that most US doctors believe in God and in an afterlife. 76% of 1,004 physicians surveyed said they believe in God and 59% believed in some form of after-life. My own belief, prior to my respiratory arrest/NDE, included believing in God, but with a strong conviction that the way to demonstrate this was to be helpful to my fellow man while alive and with no feeling that I would be rewarded in an after-life for my deeds for I did not believe in an after-life.

Somehow, after my respiratory arrest/NDE, I awakened with the firm conviction that there is a God, a gentle forgiving God, and the same God for all of Mankind. Was I so terrified by my close encounter with Death that I mentally had to configure this strong conviction? I certainly have no memories of anything frightening during my 'experience'. My awakening and subsequent slow recovery were distinctly unpleasant, but I am perplexed by my subsequent total conviction of God’s existence.

NDERF.org, 4473. 1/27/2018. NDE 16095  

Experience of the Great Presence

I miscarried the baby in the hospital and though I was very sad about the event, I felt that all was meant to be. As if I've never wanted to name the Divine as I would like to refer to Him as: The Great Presence.

Two nurses came to take me up a few stairs to for an internal exam. As we went up I felt myself begin to reel backwards and off I went round and round through space. I stopped spinning and began flying past planets and stars, I flew through the rings of Saturn seeing massive rocks and dust particles right before my eyes, I was marveling at the astounding beauty and laughing about how no one on Earth would believe my experience. It all felt so wonderful, so exactly perfect, I was an astronaut, a fabulous free spirit of joy! I was filled with indescribable joy and love for all of creation from the vastness of space to the smallest of all nano-expressions!

Then suddenly I was above my body, which lay on a stretcher, wearing a white hospital gown, I looked at my body and knew it wasn't the real me, it was the thing I had been caught inside, and now I was free! Oh and how I felt such happiness! The joy was all-pervading, it was the real world, pain, suffering, loss, and all illusionary experience that we like to get all knotted up about. Everything was becoming clear to me. Oh and the nurses were calling my name, one was crying tears, another was saying ''oh my God, we've lost her!’ meanwhile I was above them thinking ‘what silly Billy’s, they were making all that fuss, wondering why they couldn't see me and just know that all was perfectly fabulous!’ Then I saw a window, which was open about 6 inches wide, and I thought, 'Wow, I wonder if I can fit through there’, then instantly I was in another state.

I was flying through Goldenness: pure, serene, and delightful Goldenness. Oh, wow! I was held by this serenity for the longest time, I couldn't do anything except be with It and It with me. It was inside me. It was me. It was in and with everyone and everything. It had always been in and with everything. It was and is Truth, Love, Compassion, Joy, and All. This Goldenness held all information. It was the One Mind. It contained the creation of all of everything ever created. I felt, I experienced everything that has ever been and ever shall be. All is simultaneously occurring. There is no past or future. It all just IS.

There is no way to describe the immaculate beauty of this experience, though every day for the last 35 years I wish I could find a way. Bliss, is a mere descriptive word, yet does not give to you what I wish I could, but yes ‘bliss’ is close, in a way. I saw and experienced every single detail of my present life up to that moment, like watching a movie yet starring as the main character simultaneously. This made me feel quite sad, as I had not lived my life in a state of serene joy, and felt ashamed.

Ashamed that I had not realized how imperative it is for one to be incredibly happy in this life, no matter the circumstances. The pain, the fear: no matter what! All our material conflicts of body and mind are quite unimportant in the state of ultimate freedom and blissful awareness to which we shall all return. I felt I had been unfaithful to The Great Presence, who like a divinely loving Mother, who I had let down. I was my own judge. Yet I was this love simultaneously. I saw how all of Humanity has walked with eyes cast low to the Earth, not opening wide to the beauty of the one loving presence of Golden peace. This peace is one in which we truly live, yet do not see. I saw how sadness overcomes those who cannot forgive themselves or others; and on their day of an awakened mind, they too shall be ashamed and slowly sink to a lower experience.

I saw how in being uplifted we could all ascend to the true joy together as a loving family of Beings beyond a human life in mundane-ness. I saw how there is a level of fear so ingrained in some, it's hard to look at, and yet they too, can find a way through to peacefulness. I saw how things will change, yet only after massive suffering and yet I saw, too, that it is possible to end suffering. I saw that I had a purpose and that all beings have purpose. I saw we are not separate; we are the entire One. I saw that we must have all the courage possible to achieve this fabulous unity. It is highly possible.

I felt and experienced all of creation as an Omni-experience, there was no time involved at any level. I saw it is so simple it cannot be expressed; it is best to let the mind be still and then it may occur of itself. It was such a feeling of raised joy I was in. In the distance, a Great Presence appeared which is the most Ultimate of Holiness emanating extraordinary Brilliance! This Great Presence is the Heart of all of everything: we are but foolish children! I put my arms out to try to fly and saw that there were rainbows of colors: I was a rainbow being. I was made of light and color: I was overjoyed! I thought I can fly to the Great Presence before me and unite with the purity of all that is, was, and ever shall be. That was my heart’s desire, to be at one with the Great Presence which 'they' call God, and yet I dare not announce a name to that which is beyond naming.

I begin to fly and move closer to that beauteous sight and begin to feel the Great Presence pervade my very core, as if my entirety is exploding into love. Then a great powerful voice, which seems to echo in all directions and vibrates through to my very soul, declares: ‘It is not your time’, whereupon I feel such sorrow and in my mind, I am saying ‘No, no, no. Please don't make me go back’, for I do not want to return to this Earth, ever again. I awake in the hospital bed two days later and cry in heartache that I am here on Earth again. I have never felt at home here on earth. I have been alone with this and many other amazing and profound experiences for which I struggle to find anyone to which I can connect.

I do hope my experience is of some help, and I wish I could re-write it so I don't leave anything out, but I am afraid that would take a long time as there is too much to explain here. But since then I have been living as if in a double life, for no one would believe me if I told them everything I have seen. 

NDERF.ORG, #6992