Nurse experiences near-death experience

Intense pain, loud noise, swiftly extracted through the top of my head to the uppermost left-hand corner of the ceiling of the surgical suite. Awareness of self as being present while observing medical staff suddenly going into resuscitation mode-realizing I still existed and was not afraid (contrary to previous earthly experience of being young, single mom raising a three year old and questioning Meaning of existence). I thought, 'This must be who I really am' when I myself in that state and found that 'I' was an alive entity/being without a body (and saw that body on the table). I thought, 'They think I'm gone, but I'm really up here.' I was exhilarated, curious, and wanted to 'see where this would go'.

In all, I recall four various dimensions, and curiously don't recall the transitions (in choosing to re-experience this daily in a meditative/prayer state I want to recall the transitions but have not). Next, I was moving/flying through space (dark void) at an unbelievably swift speed aware eventually that I could control speed and direction with awareness. Became aware there were objects in that dark space (maybe like stars in the sky?) that were bright in comparison and was attracted to them. I had the sense of avoiding some and 'steering' toward others (good and bad?).

Then there was One star of incredible dimension, brightness, beauty, majesty. As I was drawn toward it (combined with earnest choice), I could see complex shapes and colors. (Words don't describe it – I have tried to draw it.) I could see dimensions where the colors and shapes were overlaid one on another (like translucent immense precious stones fitted together to form a complex multi - doesn't describe - dimensional impression of a Most Loving Being that drew me to Him, invited me in, and pointed the Way to the Light. ALL wisdom and love was conveyed via unheard thought transmission from that Being (Jesus?). That light was a yet far distant point that I immediately (in combination again of will and being drawn) directly myself to with all earnestness with the conscious goal of uniting with that light (or perish?). As I approached, the light grew larger, brighter, compelling until I was suddenly thrust into it (beyond a sense of boundary) with indescribable speed. That is the only transition that is recalled.

Now, in the light, for eternity (seemed like), experience a sense of being 'held,' immersed, fully bathed, buoyant, ONE WITH THE LIGHT! The light was a golden light, warmth, and embracing. A state of (words are inaccurate) ALL LOVE, peace, unity, Wisdom from God, at the center, and innumerable other, unseen others poured into me to teach and explain to me the immense divinity of His overall plan from the beginning of time to the future. I soaked in with the conscious preciousness of gratitude for the unique, yet ever present for all, experience of knowing the immensity of the glorious plan. I felt like a 'chosen tutoree' with a privilege to be present here. I understood, in that experience, why and how God had been present and ever will be. That the experience on Earth is like a stage for all the divine beings to observe, cajole, and minister to individuals on Earth as they choose what they will and direct their own selves toward God or away (inadequate, incomplete theology to explain).

At the same time, I could perceive, from their perspective also the literal view of Earth from there (Heaven?) and even move around the planet from many, various perspectives while still being There and continuing to receive transmission. Seemed like an eternity that I wanted to remain in, yet there was a 'direction' to comprehend and maintain what I was learning. Eventually, there was a sense of a need to return and participate in transmitting and sharing this experience.

Actually, that came in the next dimension (not recall transition) where I was standing in front of the most beautiful, exquisite, representation of the English cottage I always conceived in my mind since earliest memory in childhood of the perfect home. I was outside the gate (picket fence with curved arbor climbing with roses) - so real. The golden light was streaming from the windows in the late dusk. I knew God was in the house. (I can see all the details of the home) I wanted to go in to be with Him. As I put my hand on the handle to go in, I was told 'If you go in you cannot come out. You have a little son (then four years old) who needs you. The people on earth need to know all that you have witnessed and experience. That their experience is not the totality of existence, but a crucial part of the overall plan.' Could 'see', understand, that my fear was an obstacle to coming to know God and His presence, not only for me, but also for all. That was the overriding message, the root of all evil in this world, and the foci of their interest, message, to this world. Then, I experienced the reverse of the initial experience. I was moving from that wondrous state back in and through the top of my head.

I became aware that I had a sheet over my whole body and head, that I was no longer in the surgical suite, and knew that they thought I was dead. I knew that I had to move, with all effort, finally did, and saw the surprise on the anesthesiologist's face who was present with the nurse who I did not see. Later, when roused by the surgeon, he dramatically questioned, 'Where did you go, I thought I lost you?' The rest is history. I recovered, chose not to return to work, focused on my son, behaved in ways that were incongruent with previous experience that were motivated totally by this experience.

Viva Tapper, PhD and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (1954-2015)

 

Experience in conversation with God

I felt myself getting out of my body. Once outside, I saw the hospital staff working around my body to revive it. I've been very surprised by my paranormal powers in this different form! First I had 360 degree vision, I could see above, below, on my right, on my left, behind, I could see EVERYWHERE at the same time!

Secondly, I could zoom on a particular point. I traveled at the speed of thought, I just needed to think about a place or somebody and I was instantly there! I could go through walls, I went through matter, and it was VERY EXCITING!

I heard people's thoughts. Even before they opened their mouth, I knew what they were about to say! Because I heard their thought! Besides, it was quite a cacophony in the room, but I just had to focus on one person and then, I just heard this person! 

Well, that's it for extraordinary powers you have when out of the body! I strolled about. I visited my mother at her home. I went into the deep universe. I climbed very high in space and the sight was WONDERFUL! At some point, I felt sucked away into a long dark tunnel at an incredible speed! At the tunnel end there was a glowing pinpoint. In this tunnel, there were other beings like myself, and we looked at each other saying, 'I believe we are dead!' The more I went forward, the more the light grew. I arrived into this light. 

The light was wonderful and very bright. But what hit me the most is that in this light I felt at peace, joy, but most of all I felt an incredible love! This light loved me! This light talked to me! I asked it if it was God and it answered me, 'Yes I am the light!' This light being (whom I did not see) knew EVERYTHING about me; he knew my life from beginning until end! Once in this light, I remembered who I was, I also got answers to all questions I ever wondered about, like who created the universe and how, how does the cosmos work, physics, etc. Oh yes, I did not learn it, I remembered it!

Being in this knowledge was a divine state. God then showed me all my life from birth until my NDE. I felt and experienced again all these events and I also felt emotions I had raised in others. I was my only judge! This experience was very painful. I dare not imagine what Adolf Hitler underwent when feeling the pain of millions of individuals. God showed me when I had generously done things without thinking about it beforehand, and when I had done unloving things. I even saw myself stealing sweets in a shop, thinking to myself, 'Whew, nobody saw me!' Indeed, somebody saw me. Yes, God saw me! But he does not judge me. In fact, this is what hit me the most. God does not judge, he just loves us with unconditional love, this love is indescribable, it is not like what we feel on earth, this is rather a force-of-love.

The light and I talked for quite a long time. Oh, yes! On the other side, communication is done via telepathy (thought transfer). I must tell you that God has a fantastic sense of humor; I never laughed so much in all my life! We laughed about the way I had so seriously reacted to an event. Life on earth is a big drama! It should not be taken too much in earnest! As for the universal knowledge I got, I was not allowed to come back with the answers, I remember I knew and I recall some little things like the fact we are eternal beings, we always existed and we shall always exist! Each time we incarnate, we lose memory of who we are.

Prior to the creation of the universe there was only us, united in just one small point of awareness. This consciousness had knowledge but we could not experience it. Then we separated into billions of individual consciousnesses, and we created the universe to go there and have fun! One day we shall all be reunited again, and again we shall 'explode' and everything shall start again, as this is an unending circle! True life, true reality is in the other world. I remember the light told me that there is more than one universe, there are billions of them, and earth is not the only planet we may choose to incarnate on.

I recall that when I was out of my body, I wondered what I looked like without a body. Then I looked at myself and I was light, I was made of light! However, at some point I had not this light body anymore, I was just a point of consciousness in the universe! At some point God told me, 'You must go back to earth.' I refused then; no way I should go back into that sick body. Then God showed me a vision of my mother who cried because I was dead, and then I came back. I went down through this tunnel much talked about, and I had to reenter my body through my head. The feeling was very unpleasant; it was like putting a diver suit too small on. Here it is! This was my NDE! 

NDERF.org #4046

 

In NDE meets friend who had died

I was asleep. Then I was floating above my body. I observed the shine on my hanging copper pot and the pretty colors of my quilt. I watched my body but I don't recall seeing mom in the room with me at that time. I floated up to the ceiling.

Lucy entered the room with the bright rays of sun through the window. She had no body, like me. We greeted each other happily and played, spinning and twirling in the air. It was fun.

When we stopped, she took me up through a dark tunnel with an intense light at the top. When we arrived, there was no top or bottom. There was nothing there but love. It was pure love. Intense love. Everything was okay. Everyone there was okay. They were all happy, loving beings. They were expecting Lucy. They talked with her and laughed with her. I watched them and felt the love all around me. They reviewed Lucy's past. Suddenly, I felt a being communicate, 'You're not supposed to be here.'

As I awoke, I felt pressure on my chest. I felt lips on mine. When I opened my eyes, mom was leaving the room with her pillow. I never slept with one for obvious reasons. I noticed that my arms were folded across my chest like a dead person. She seemed angry with me and said it was because I wouldn't wake up.

I told mom about the dream I had. She didn't think much of it until later that day when we got a call from Aunt Barbara telling us that Lucy had died that morning.

For years, I believed I had a psychic experience. I was wrong. It wasn't ESP. It was NDE. I was killed and then revived by my mother. It has taken most of my life for me to come to terms with what mom did to me and the rest of my family. We all suffered abuse from her.

NDERF.org # 2948

When falling asleep feels "tether holding my soul"

I was having oral surgery and had a reaction the medication to put me asleep. I was flat lined for over three minutes until the medical people showed up. I remember the whole event. I was with my deceased father in-law in an area that was so peaceful I didn't want to leave. When he died, he could not speak English, but when I was with him, I could understand him perfectly.

As they tried to revive me and get my heart started again I could feel them using the paddles to get my heart started. I could feel my body moving up and down, but knew I was not moving. I was laying there in darkness with my arms crossed and could feel my body moving.

Ever since that event I have this strange thing happen to me when I'm about to fall asleep. I can almost control my soul and have out of body experiences when I want to. Sometimes it feels like there is a tether holding my soul to my body and it snaps me back in.

NDERF.org #20726

Free will and choices shape our lives

In April of 1995, I was a newly divorced mother of two boys, ages seven and two. I'd been working two jobs to support us, and fell ill with what I believed was the flu. Each day I worked, and each day I felt a greater weight on my chest. As I was only in Georgia for four years at this time, I had no family, only friends. Neighbors often rallied to my side with help in a crisis, I felt blessed. As I grew weaker, the Lynch family stopped by and offered to take my sons for the night, and would drop them at school/daycare the next day. Another neighbor was instructed by the Lynch's to check up on me the next morning. With my children cared for, I crawled into the bottom bunk of my sons' bed. Excruciating pain grew stronger across my chest and shoulders. In a fraction of a moment, everything around me melted away.

I was surrounded by a mass of solid glowing white. My eyes caught a girl to my right side. She was probably nineteen or twenty. Shorter than my five feet eight inches stature she starred up at me. She asked where we were. I had no clue. She proceeded to tell me she'd been driving home from work and didn't understand how she was now standing beside me. I revealed likewise, that I had been in my sons' bunk bed and had no recollection of moving.

In front of us, a man appeared and approached us. The best I can describe his face/features is brown curly hair to the nape of his neck, liquid brown eyes, capable of illuminating the most unbelievable compassion, and a delicate mustache under a pronounced nose. His face literally glowed. His eyes kept mine to his. I asked him where we were. He smiled, nodded, and said, 'The best way to describe this is, you are in a form of limbo.' My mind desperately tried to grasp what he was implying. Unfortunately, whenever I am stressed, excited, antsy etc. my bladder turns into a waterlogged tsetse fly. Embarrassed, I moved forward and asked where the restrooms were. This part is where I get emotional in repeating my NDE. This man simply smiled at me. Not a smirk. Not a condescending gesture. He smiled with every ounce of unconditional love and compassion that I will never properly explain. His smile covered my body like a blanket and made me feel so at peace. Asking me to move with him, I assumed he was taking me to the facilities.

Gesturing he told me to walk forward and I would see what I would call 'a mirror'. Once in front of it, I would understand why I didn't need a bathroom. Moving into the direction, before me was a liquid pool of white, yet, it also appeared to be a mirror. I was completely mesmerized. There were colors - brilliant colors everywhere. I was an array of beautiful moving, shimmering, vibrating, and colors. He came closer and said, 'Do you understand now?' I realized I was pure energy, spirit, and part of a flowing consciousness; while still remaining 'Denise'. At that moment, he shared his name, 'John'. As we moved, he also shared with me what was happening.

The following is a reiteration of his words. 'Everyone has choices. Everyone has free will. How this interacts in your life, and death, and with others, is all by choice. For instance, look at the girl who came here at the same time as you. If the ambulance driver takes a different road to the scene, if someone decides to move her and doesn't know what they are doing and cause more damage, if her internal organs are too crushed by the accident by speed and timing, she will stay here. You are laying in your sons' bedroom. Your one neighbor was given the responsibility to check on you. It is her choice, her free will. Will she find you? Will she decide to take a shower first and be too late? Each of us always hangs in a balance, by decisions, Not only by our own actions, but by the free will and actions of others.' He finished, 'I need to tell you, your neighbor is entering your home. She will find you. You will be going back.'

With these last words still ringing in my ears, I was sucked like a vacuum back into my body. My physical pain took my breath away. My neighbor was crying, pounding on my chest, and screaming for me to breathe. I was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with pleurisy. My left lung muscle was so damaged the doctors informed me any future incidents with my lungs would kill me.

Jump ahead to 2003. On a trip with my mother and friend to Savannah Georgia, we decided to visit the Catholic Cathedral. Upon entering the church and looking around, a short elderly man, with twinkling grey eyes, came softly up to my right side. He took my hand and asked me to walk with him. I wasn't afraid or fearful (besides my mom and friend were directly in front of us). As they walked ahead and moved towards the altar, the little man guided me to the last stained-glass window on the left, closest to the alter. He asked if I saw anyone I knew in the stained glass. It was a side profile, but I recognized him immediately.

It was John, my John from my NDE. I whispered in awe, 'That's John.' 'Yes it is my dear. He was an apostle on earth and he was called smiling John. You needed to see this. You needed to remember and know that it happened.' I stood there shaking my head in a yes motion and turned to look at the little man. He was gone, nowhere in sight. My mother and her friend had turned to me and asked where he went. I told them I did not know - but I had a something to share with them. And I've been sharing my NDE with anyone who needs to hear it ever since.#5122

NDERF.org 5122

 

Speaks to the Lord and his deceased father

I was not physically aware for three days as I was unconscious from the accident. I am told that I was dead on the operating room table for three minutes during the brain surgery I was having to correct life-threatening damage to my head.

During this time, I wasn't aware of what had become of my physical body until I awoke to the real world again.

I saw the light. I followed it. People say, 'Don't follow the light,' but you really don't have a choice. It's either follow the light, or be stuck there until you wake up - if you do. So I followed. I emerged somewhere outside the Gates of Heaven. I walked up to the nearest Seraph and didn't even get past stating my full name, when the Seraph simply smiled and said, 'Follow me, He wishes to speak with you.' So I did. We walked in through the gates and I was led straight to the chamber where The Lord sat. I seated myself across a desk from Him, and we began conversing. The desk was completely clear.

To this day, I cannot completely remember all that I talked with Him about - but I get a sense that it was a long conversation, one as if between friends. I do remember some parts of it, however - mainly that He told me directly that I would not remember much of what we talked about.

What I do remember is from the middle of the conversation. Keep in mind that at this point, I did not know my father had passed on in the accident that we had just been in. We had been on our way to go out to eat, as we always did, and he had been driving.

I remember that the Lord said to me, 'Worry not, you will not be kept here. I do not wish to have you home yet, for you have much to live for!' This was in response to my question, 'Am I really 'dead' to my life down there?' The Lord then smiled and my dad walked in, grinning as he went to stand by the Lord's side. It was his usual mischievous 'surprise bearing' smile. It also had a large amount of pride in it.

My dad simply said, 'I'm home.' To which I replied, 'Daniel will miss you, and so will I.' Daniel, who was seventeen at the time of the accident, is my younger brother. My dad simply said, 'Take care of him while you still can.' I said that of course I would.

The Lord then spoke and said, 'Your father spoke to me earlier and did not wish you to die. I granted his wish.' I conversed more with the Lord and my father. This portion isn't something I can remember, but I get the hazy sense that it was just as if we were talking things over, and that they were both consoling me.

My memory picks back up at the point where I expressed my anxiety at returning to life. I think I said, 'Well, I'd like to get back down and check on Daniel.' and I gave my father and the Lord a parting hug. I still remember the hugs well, for when I gave the Lord a hug, he whispered into my ear as I was transported back, 'You will not remember everything we spoke about, but don't worry, and you'll remember what you need to know in life when the time is right. And you will remember it all when you cross Heaven's threshold once again.' 

NDERF.org #5251

Deceased grandfather persuades her to return

About an hour or two after I took some medications I knew something was not right. I now believe that an interaction between the medications was the problem. I felt like I was losing touch with reality in a way. I lay in bed and closed my eyes as I tried to get to sleep, and wished I would just feel better.

Now is the part where it gets hard to describe. It's as if my awareness started expanding out of my body. I was still in my body but out of it at the same time. It's a feeling that's impossible to describe without experiencing it yourself. I was in a deep void of empty space. Suddenly a cold, stiff feeling poured over my body. My awareness kept expanding, but my body felt like a cold machine that was holding me back. It felt like my respirations were artificial, and at that moment I just stopped breathing. I heard, rather than felt, my lungs gasp for air, but I was so disconnected from my body by now that there was no possible way to keep breathing. I have no idea how long I stopped breathing for, but my heartbeat got louder and louder until it stopped along with my breathing.

The moment my heart stopped the void became deeper and deeper, until it felt like it expanded forever. I sensed that the darkness was about to part and reveal a marvelous light. Then I felt the presence of my deceased grandfather. I don't remember everything that was said, but basically it was revealed that I could move on if I wanted to, but once I reached the light I would not be able to return to my body. He did not want my life to end though, because I still had some important lessons to be learned in this lifetime. He said that after I learned what I needed to about love that it would be my time to go.

I have a chronic illness, and this last year I have narrowly avoided death five times. My illness almost claimed me three times; I was also crossing the street when I felt an unseen force push me backwards out of the path of an oncoming car, and last of all I nearly fell off a cliff. He said that it was no accident that my life I had been spared each one of those times, and what I needed to learn in this life is so vital that I really needed to go back. I felt a force pushing me back into my body, and I resumed breathing.

I tried to get out of bed, but still felt so disconnected with my body in a way that I could barely move. I have no idea how long this continued, but as I lay there motionless, I felt at times my body would start getting cold, and my awareness would start trying to expand outside my body again - only to be pushed back by an unseen force. At one moment during this time, I felt the presence of two other deceased spirits. One was more prominent than the other was. I received the knowledge from him that they were two young men in this lifetime who had recently passed on from a tragic car accident. I received other details such as his name, the location, and the circumstances revolving around the accident. He told me the same thing as my grandfather as far as the fact that I still had things to learn in this life. During this entire experience, I also felt the presence of my 'Higher Self'. I can't really put this part into words, except to say that I have felt connected to this same Higher Self during different times in my life when I have felt truly been loving and connecting with others.

The next thing I remember is waking up several hours later. I suffered no ill effects, except a horrible headache and temporary short-term memory loss, which I suspect may have been a result from the oxygen deprivation rather than the medications themselves. Needless to say, I was kind of in a daze the entire next day.

At first, I thought I just wanted to move on, but later I went on the internet and started looking up car accidents in the news. After just a few minutes of searching, I saw a picture of a young man who had recently died in a car crash with his friend. I felt chills go up and down my spine because his name, the location and circumstances around the accident, and his picture all corresponded with exactly what was revealed to me the previous night. I never met him in this life, but I feel like there is some deeper meaning to why he was there. I have continued to feel his presence after my experience, and feel like maybe he has become kind of like a spirit guide. This experience has deeply affected me and has made me even more determined to continue to manage my illness and live the rest of life to the very fullest. 

NDErF.org, 5288