Released from fear when says, "God help me."

When I started having my heart attack, as I was lying in the floor unable to move, I was afraid because I knew I was dying and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I won't bore you with the ride to the hospital and the treatments I received suffice to say I was overcome by the black veil of death. How ironic that's exactly what it is. After I realized I was on the other side and my fear subsided a little.

I realized that I had made a painless transition because you no longer feel the weight or trappings of your body. I was in total darkness that had put my panic emotion in overdrive. As I slowly began to acclimatize myself to my surroundings, I could feel evil slithering and crawling in the darkness all around me. I had only one thought going on inside me that being that they are looking for me! I was terrified and started looking for the light I thought was supposed to be here. I moved around as slowly and silently as possible looking for the light. I noticed it was lighter in one direction and started to move that way when I felt extreme aggression emanating from the right of me. Fearful of moving towards the light and highlighting myself with the light I instead withdrew into the darker shadow and stayed still. As I lay there listening to the scuttling and scurrying of all the evil feelings in the darkness around me I tried to figure out what to do next.

I knew if I moved from the amount of activity that was going on around me, that I would be discovered. I was at my wits end when I said, 'God help me.' Instantly everything around me went scurrying off in every direction and that was when I felt it. It is a feeling of Perfect love and trust. A feeling so strong that it could be felt so far away that traveling at supersonic speeds it would take half an hour to get there. The closer it came the stronger the feeling became until this immense feeling totally engulfed me in ecstasy so intense as to be unimaginable (for lack of better words) and lifted me by my elbows above the darkness and away we went; me being supported by two beings that felt better than a mother's breast to a newborn. I looked up at my benefactors and found that they were dressed in black gowns and had a screen over their faces that, if you looked closely, had a mirror like substance that reflected your own image back at you. They were giving me reassurances through feelings and music that was like talking, only better than language. There is nothing to learn you can understand totally. They stopped before something I couldn't make out what as it seemed that when I looked past them everything was out of focus.

One of them opened up what was as if a giant tobacco sack made of suede leather it was so soft. As she opened it, we all went inside and the sack closed over us. They then told me an immense amount of information in a gleaming. The gist of which is that this was my world and I controlled it and everything in it, I could bring anything I wanted into my world, no limits. It was mine to do with as I wished. The only rule was that if I removed something it could never come back. They then instructed me to picture in my mind a place that I felt safe. I did, and it developed right before my eyes. They then asked me if anything was wrong and I saw a couple of things that were and they instantly transformed, sort of like mercury rearranging, until they were perfect then they left. I started to explore my new world from the comfort of my oversized recliner and was really relaxing when suddenly they told me I had to go back to the other world for a while.

I voiced my objections, they firmly lifted me out of the pod, and away we went. I looked around as we were leaving as they said it was permitted of residents. I am unable to describe what I saw for lack of language to describe it. I wanted for a time after I got back to paint it but lack the talent to do so. Anyway, I was taken to a place where I could see my body through a black veil and was shoved feet first through the top of my head back into my body. When I opened my eyes I was inside my body, it was in pain, and the doctor and a nurse were asking me if I knew where I was. The doctor told me that I may have some broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder, among other things, and that I was on a balloon pump and it looked like I was going to recover some of my memories and functions damaged by oxygen deprivation. I looked down at my chest and it was discolored and swollen to resemble a football under the skin on the right side of my chest. I was uncomfortable to say the least; I tried to move my right arm and heard this awful loud scream. I looked around, I was back behind the veil, LOVE and TRUTH were there, and they asked why I was back so soon. Then they laid what looked like a chrome flashlight on my chest. It played a colorful tone, my chest went down, and they asked if there was anything else, I would like other than returning to my pod, as I like to call it. I said no and they told me it would be there waiting on me and then I was back.

NDERF.org #127 

During NDE told "God appears in a familiar form."

I had been ill with a bad case of bronchitis for several weeks. It was hanging on and on. I was traveling from Indianapolis to Terre Haute one day, and I got so tired, I decided to pull off at the little town of Cloverdale to take a brief rest. It was very cold. I parked the car in an empty parking lot and turned off the engine. I covered myself up with my coat and reclined my seat, just to try to get a short nap. The time was 12:02 pm. I did not go to sleep. After a few minutes, I began to have difficulty breathing. I fumbled in my purse for my inhaler, took a couple of inspirations from it, then lay back down - but I still could not breathe. I tried to sit up, but I was too weak. I struggled and struggled for air but simply could not breathe in or out. I started to pass out, and I became aware of my body, as if I were looking at it from the outside. I wasn't seeing it with my eyes, I was just aware there was a body there, that was struggling for air, and it was getting weaker and weaker. Then the body became very quiet.

I knew the body was mine, but I didn't seem to care very much about it. Suddenly I found myself in a tunnel. The tunnel was made of some transparent kind of bricks or blocks. Light shone into the tunnel through the bricks. It was a beautiful golden light, and it felt warm and comforting. I wanted to get to the light. I stepped into the tunnel, and as I did, the tunnel began to slowly rotate. I told myself to be careful of my footing so I would not fall as the tunnel rotated. I walked a step or two before I saw a door at the end of the tunnel. It was a heavy, ornate, blue door. I had no sooner determined that I wanted to go up to the door, when suddenly, there I was. I tried to open it, but I couldn't. Then information just flowed into me. I was told that once the door was opened, I would be confronted with a choice. It was going to be a very difficult choice, so I should think carefully before making it.

I stood quietly before the door, pondering the information, when suddenly it opened. I looked out on a great expanse of darkness immediately below and in front of me. Beyond the darkness, in the distance, was an endless galaxy. A bright Light, brighter than all the stars in the galaxy, shone from the center. This Light felt as if it were pulling me toward it. Below me, in the expanse of darkness, I could hear human beings in distress. I could tell they were suffering. It sounded something like a busy emergency room, but the suffering was palpable. Somehow, I knew if they would just turn to that Light, their suffering would end, but they were stubborn and would not turn to the Light.

As I looked out at this most beautiful sight of stars, planets, and the great radiant and loving Light, I saw tiny trails of blue, pink and green lights traveling across the expanse of darkness toward the Great Light. I wondered what they were, and instantly I had the information that they were prayers from people seeking the Light. They were very beautiful, and once they reached the Light, they were absorbed into it. Then larger trails of white light traveled from the Great Light outward. I knew that these were answers to prayers. I just wanted to watch the traveling of the lights, be warmed by the Light and enjoy the beautiful view. The Light turned a magnificent blue and rolled toward me like an ocean wave. It was not really close to me, but nevertheless I could see the image of Jesus within the blue wave. Love poured out upon me, like warm water. Jesus looked just like he did on the poster in my Sunday School class. I had the thought that if I had been a Buddhist, perhaps he would look like Buddha, and I was told, 'That is right. God appears in a familiar form.' I wanted to ask Jesus some questions, but suddenly I was told I had to make a choice. I was not told by a person, it was more like a chorus of voices that were not heard with my ears, but somehow communicated another way. They told me I could stay or I could go back. I was to think carefully before making a decision.

I thought about my three teen-aged children at home. They were all troubled. We had all been abandoned by my husband the year before. We were dealing with poverty and abandonment, in addition to all the stresses of puberty. I was very tempted to stay with the Light (which was now changing color and turning back into its original form), but I knew I could not abandon my children to a mean world without a mother. I did not even get a chance to tell the chorus that I had to go back to my children. As soon as I knew that I could not abandon them, I felt as if I had been dropped from thirty feet in the air onto a concrete slab. I slammed into my body with the most crushing pain imaginable. I could feel the fluttering of a preliminary heartbeat. I heard my body try to inhale. I felt the very cold fingers and cheeks. This body was extremely cold, and still it could not move. I heard it inhale sharply and groan. I listened for it to inhale again, and it did. I coaxed it, telling it when to breathe in and when to breathe out. I felt its heart gain a rhythm, and then I was completely within the body, struggling for a good breath.

I have never been so cold. The outdoor temperature was about twenty degrees, and my body seemed nearly that cold. I looked at the clock. It was 12:40 pm. It took nearly an hour of heating the car and my body until I could move effectively. My breathing was very tenuous. Eventually I became strong enough to drive home. 

NDERF.org # 4964

 

Nurse experiences near-death experience

Intense pain, loud noise, swiftly extracted through the top of my head to the uppermost left-hand corner of the ceiling of the surgical suite. Awareness of self as being present while observing medical staff suddenly going into resuscitation mode-realizing I still existed and was not afraid (contrary to previous earthly experience of being young, single mom raising a three year old and questioning Meaning of existence). I thought, 'This must be who I really am' when I myself in that state and found that 'I' was an alive entity/being without a body (and saw that body on the table). I thought, 'They think I'm gone, but I'm really up here.' I was exhilarated, curious, and wanted to 'see where this would go'.

In all, I recall four various dimensions, and curiously don't recall the transitions (in choosing to re-experience this daily in a meditative/prayer state I want to recall the transitions but have not). Next, I was moving/flying through space (dark void) at an unbelievably swift speed aware eventually that I could control speed and direction with awareness. Became aware there were objects in that dark space (maybe like stars in the sky?) that were bright in comparison and was attracted to them. I had the sense of avoiding some and 'steering' toward others (good and bad?).

Then there was One star of incredible dimension, brightness, beauty, majesty. As I was drawn toward it (combined with earnest choice), I could see complex shapes and colors. (Words don't describe it – I have tried to draw it.) I could see dimensions where the colors and shapes were overlaid one on another (like translucent immense precious stones fitted together to form a complex multi - doesn't describe - dimensional impression of a Most Loving Being that drew me to Him, invited me in, and pointed the Way to the Light. ALL wisdom and love was conveyed via unheard thought transmission from that Being (Jesus?). That light was a yet far distant point that I immediately (in combination again of will and being drawn) directly myself to with all earnestness with the conscious goal of uniting with that light (or perish?). As I approached, the light grew larger, brighter, compelling until I was suddenly thrust into it (beyond a sense of boundary) with indescribable speed. That is the only transition that is recalled.

Now, in the light, for eternity (seemed like), experience a sense of being 'held,' immersed, fully bathed, buoyant, ONE WITH THE LIGHT! The light was a golden light, warmth, and embracing. A state of (words are inaccurate) ALL LOVE, peace, unity, Wisdom from God, at the center, and innumerable other, unseen others poured into me to teach and explain to me the immense divinity of His overall plan from the beginning of time to the future. I soaked in with the conscious preciousness of gratitude for the unique, yet ever present for all, experience of knowing the immensity of the glorious plan. I felt like a 'chosen tutoree' with a privilege to be present here. I understood, in that experience, why and how God had been present and ever will be. That the experience on Earth is like a stage for all the divine beings to observe, cajole, and minister to individuals on Earth as they choose what they will and direct their own selves toward God or away (inadequate, incomplete theology to explain).

At the same time, I could perceive, from their perspective also the literal view of Earth from there (Heaven?) and even move around the planet from many, various perspectives while still being There and continuing to receive transmission. Seemed like an eternity that I wanted to remain in, yet there was a 'direction' to comprehend and maintain what I was learning. Eventually, there was a sense of a need to return and participate in transmitting and sharing this experience.

Actually, that came in the next dimension (not recall transition) where I was standing in front of the most beautiful, exquisite, representation of the English cottage I always conceived in my mind since earliest memory in childhood of the perfect home. I was outside the gate (picket fence with curved arbor climbing with roses) - so real. The golden light was streaming from the windows in the late dusk. I knew God was in the house. (I can see all the details of the home) I wanted to go in to be with Him. As I put my hand on the handle to go in, I was told 'If you go in you cannot come out. You have a little son (then four years old) who needs you. The people on earth need to know all that you have witnessed and experience. That their experience is not the totality of existence, but a crucial part of the overall plan.' Could 'see', understand, that my fear was an obstacle to coming to know God and His presence, not only for me, but also for all. That was the overriding message, the root of all evil in this world, and the foci of their interest, message, to this world. Then, I experienced the reverse of the initial experience. I was moving from that wondrous state back in and through the top of my head.

I became aware that I had a sheet over my whole body and head, that I was no longer in the surgical suite, and knew that they thought I was dead. I knew that I had to move, with all effort, finally did, and saw the surprise on the anesthesiologist's face who was present with the nurse who I did not see. Later, when roused by the surgeon, he dramatically questioned, 'Where did you go, I thought I lost you?' The rest is history. I recovered, chose not to return to work, focused on my son, behaved in ways that were incongruent with previous experience that were motivated totally by this experience.

Viva Tapper, PhD and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (1954-2015)

 

Experience in conversation with God

I felt myself getting out of my body. Once outside, I saw the hospital staff working around my body to revive it. I've been very surprised by my paranormal powers in this different form! First I had 360 degree vision, I could see above, below, on my right, on my left, behind, I could see EVERYWHERE at the same time!

Secondly, I could zoom on a particular point. I traveled at the speed of thought, I just needed to think about a place or somebody and I was instantly there! I could go through walls, I went through matter, and it was VERY EXCITING!

I heard people's thoughts. Even before they opened their mouth, I knew what they were about to say! Because I heard their thought! Besides, it was quite a cacophony in the room, but I just had to focus on one person and then, I just heard this person! 

Well, that's it for extraordinary powers you have when out of the body! I strolled about. I visited my mother at her home. I went into the deep universe. I climbed very high in space and the sight was WONDERFUL! At some point, I felt sucked away into a long dark tunnel at an incredible speed! At the tunnel end there was a glowing pinpoint. In this tunnel, there were other beings like myself, and we looked at each other saying, 'I believe we are dead!' The more I went forward, the more the light grew. I arrived into this light. 

The light was wonderful and very bright. But what hit me the most is that in this light I felt at peace, joy, but most of all I felt an incredible love! This light loved me! This light talked to me! I asked it if it was God and it answered me, 'Yes I am the light!' This light being (whom I did not see) knew EVERYTHING about me; he knew my life from beginning until end! Once in this light, I remembered who I was, I also got answers to all questions I ever wondered about, like who created the universe and how, how does the cosmos work, physics, etc. Oh yes, I did not learn it, I remembered it!

Being in this knowledge was a divine state. God then showed me all my life from birth until my NDE. I felt and experienced again all these events and I also felt emotions I had raised in others. I was my only judge! This experience was very painful. I dare not imagine what Adolf Hitler underwent when feeling the pain of millions of individuals. God showed me when I had generously done things without thinking about it beforehand, and when I had done unloving things. I even saw myself stealing sweets in a shop, thinking to myself, 'Whew, nobody saw me!' Indeed, somebody saw me. Yes, God saw me! But he does not judge me. In fact, this is what hit me the most. God does not judge, he just loves us with unconditional love, this love is indescribable, it is not like what we feel on earth, this is rather a force-of-love.

The light and I talked for quite a long time. Oh, yes! On the other side, communication is done via telepathy (thought transfer). I must tell you that God has a fantastic sense of humor; I never laughed so much in all my life! We laughed about the way I had so seriously reacted to an event. Life on earth is a big drama! It should not be taken too much in earnest! As for the universal knowledge I got, I was not allowed to come back with the answers, I remember I knew and I recall some little things like the fact we are eternal beings, we always existed and we shall always exist! Each time we incarnate, we lose memory of who we are.

Prior to the creation of the universe there was only us, united in just one small point of awareness. This consciousness had knowledge but we could not experience it. Then we separated into billions of individual consciousnesses, and we created the universe to go there and have fun! One day we shall all be reunited again, and again we shall 'explode' and everything shall start again, as this is an unending circle! True life, true reality is in the other world. I remember the light told me that there is more than one universe, there are billions of them, and earth is not the only planet we may choose to incarnate on.

I recall that when I was out of my body, I wondered what I looked like without a body. Then I looked at myself and I was light, I was made of light! However, at some point I had not this light body anymore, I was just a point of consciousness in the universe! At some point God told me, 'You must go back to earth.' I refused then; no way I should go back into that sick body. Then God showed me a vision of my mother who cried because I was dead, and then I came back. I went down through this tunnel much talked about, and I had to reenter my body through my head. The feeling was very unpleasant; it was like putting a diver suit too small on. Here it is! This was my NDE! 

NDERF.org #4046

 

In NDE meets friend who had died

I was asleep. Then I was floating above my body. I observed the shine on my hanging copper pot and the pretty colors of my quilt. I watched my body but I don't recall seeing mom in the room with me at that time. I floated up to the ceiling.

Lucy entered the room with the bright rays of sun through the window. She had no body, like me. We greeted each other happily and played, spinning and twirling in the air. It was fun.

When we stopped, she took me up through a dark tunnel with an intense light at the top. When we arrived, there was no top or bottom. There was nothing there but love. It was pure love. Intense love. Everything was okay. Everyone there was okay. They were all happy, loving beings. They were expecting Lucy. They talked with her and laughed with her. I watched them and felt the love all around me. They reviewed Lucy's past. Suddenly, I felt a being communicate, 'You're not supposed to be here.'

As I awoke, I felt pressure on my chest. I felt lips on mine. When I opened my eyes, mom was leaving the room with her pillow. I never slept with one for obvious reasons. I noticed that my arms were folded across my chest like a dead person. She seemed angry with me and said it was because I wouldn't wake up.

I told mom about the dream I had. She didn't think much of it until later that day when we got a call from Aunt Barbara telling us that Lucy had died that morning.

For years, I believed I had a psychic experience. I was wrong. It wasn't ESP. It was NDE. I was killed and then revived by my mother. It has taken most of my life for me to come to terms with what mom did to me and the rest of my family. We all suffered abuse from her.

NDERF.org # 2948

When falling asleep feels "tether holding my soul"

I was having oral surgery and had a reaction the medication to put me asleep. I was flat lined for over three minutes until the medical people showed up. I remember the whole event. I was with my deceased father in-law in an area that was so peaceful I didn't want to leave. When he died, he could not speak English, but when I was with him, I could understand him perfectly.

As they tried to revive me and get my heart started again I could feel them using the paddles to get my heart started. I could feel my body moving up and down, but knew I was not moving. I was laying there in darkness with my arms crossed and could feel my body moving.

Ever since that event I have this strange thing happen to me when I'm about to fall asleep. I can almost control my soul and have out of body experiences when I want to. Sometimes it feels like there is a tether holding my soul to my body and it snaps me back in.

NDERF.org #20726

Free will and choices shape our lives

In April of 1995, I was a newly divorced mother of two boys, ages seven and two. I'd been working two jobs to support us, and fell ill with what I believed was the flu. Each day I worked, and each day I felt a greater weight on my chest. As I was only in Georgia for four years at this time, I had no family, only friends. Neighbors often rallied to my side with help in a crisis, I felt blessed. As I grew weaker, the Lynch family stopped by and offered to take my sons for the night, and would drop them at school/daycare the next day. Another neighbor was instructed by the Lynch's to check up on me the next morning. With my children cared for, I crawled into the bottom bunk of my sons' bed. Excruciating pain grew stronger across my chest and shoulders. In a fraction of a moment, everything around me melted away.

I was surrounded by a mass of solid glowing white. My eyes caught a girl to my right side. She was probably nineteen or twenty. Shorter than my five feet eight inches stature she starred up at me. She asked where we were. I had no clue. She proceeded to tell me she'd been driving home from work and didn't understand how she was now standing beside me. I revealed likewise, that I had been in my sons' bunk bed and had no recollection of moving.

In front of us, a man appeared and approached us. The best I can describe his face/features is brown curly hair to the nape of his neck, liquid brown eyes, capable of illuminating the most unbelievable compassion, and a delicate mustache under a pronounced nose. His face literally glowed. His eyes kept mine to his. I asked him where we were. He smiled, nodded, and said, 'The best way to describe this is, you are in a form of limbo.' My mind desperately tried to grasp what he was implying. Unfortunately, whenever I am stressed, excited, antsy etc. my bladder turns into a waterlogged tsetse fly. Embarrassed, I moved forward and asked where the restrooms were. This part is where I get emotional in repeating my NDE. This man simply smiled at me. Not a smirk. Not a condescending gesture. He smiled with every ounce of unconditional love and compassion that I will never properly explain. His smile covered my body like a blanket and made me feel so at peace. Asking me to move with him, I assumed he was taking me to the facilities.

Gesturing he told me to walk forward and I would see what I would call 'a mirror'. Once in front of it, I would understand why I didn't need a bathroom. Moving into the direction, before me was a liquid pool of white, yet, it also appeared to be a mirror. I was completely mesmerized. There were colors - brilliant colors everywhere. I was an array of beautiful moving, shimmering, vibrating, and colors. He came closer and said, 'Do you understand now?' I realized I was pure energy, spirit, and part of a flowing consciousness; while still remaining 'Denise'. At that moment, he shared his name, 'John'. As we moved, he also shared with me what was happening.

The following is a reiteration of his words. 'Everyone has choices. Everyone has free will. How this interacts in your life, and death, and with others, is all by choice. For instance, look at the girl who came here at the same time as you. If the ambulance driver takes a different road to the scene, if someone decides to move her and doesn't know what they are doing and cause more damage, if her internal organs are too crushed by the accident by speed and timing, she will stay here. You are laying in your sons' bedroom. Your one neighbor was given the responsibility to check on you. It is her choice, her free will. Will she find you? Will she decide to take a shower first and be too late? Each of us always hangs in a balance, by decisions, Not only by our own actions, but by the free will and actions of others.' He finished, 'I need to tell you, your neighbor is entering your home. She will find you. You will be going back.'

With these last words still ringing in my ears, I was sucked like a vacuum back into my body. My physical pain took my breath away. My neighbor was crying, pounding on my chest, and screaming for me to breathe. I was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with pleurisy. My left lung muscle was so damaged the doctors informed me any future incidents with my lungs would kill me.

Jump ahead to 2003. On a trip with my mother and friend to Savannah Georgia, we decided to visit the Catholic Cathedral. Upon entering the church and looking around, a short elderly man, with twinkling grey eyes, came softly up to my right side. He took my hand and asked me to walk with him. I wasn't afraid or fearful (besides my mom and friend were directly in front of us). As they walked ahead and moved towards the altar, the little man guided me to the last stained-glass window on the left, closest to the alter. He asked if I saw anyone I knew in the stained glass. It was a side profile, but I recognized him immediately.

It was John, my John from my NDE. I whispered in awe, 'That's John.' 'Yes it is my dear. He was an apostle on earth and he was called smiling John. You needed to see this. You needed to remember and know that it happened.' I stood there shaking my head in a yes motion and turned to look at the little man. He was gone, nowhere in sight. My mother and her friend had turned to me and asked where he went. I told them I did not know - but I had a something to share with them. And I've been sharing my NDE with anyone who needs to hear it ever since.#5122

NDERF.org 5122