"The person I was before the experience is gone."

I had a heart attack due to an untreated heart condition known as Wolfe Parkinson White Syndrome. After leaving my body I was pulled into a void or darkness. In the distance, I saw a white ball of light come close and closer to me. I couldn't really make out what it was until I got closer. I could tell it was a human form. Finally, I realized who it was. It was a deceased friend of mine who had committed suicide the previous year. I was very close to this person in life, we went to High School together and he was a support to me in life as well as in death. He told me that I needed to return there was a strong sense of needing to return. When I asked why he told me my life had a meaning and a purpose. It wasn't my time yet. I did return. 

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience?  

Yes I realized that life is too short to worry about things. I have more compassion now, I don't feel afraid of death. Life is a precious gift. The person I was before the experience is gone.

NDERF.org #124

 

 

Child vividly remembers near-death experience

I was two years old and fell into a creek. I remember seeing a bright light, cone shaped, that was pulling me upward and a woman standing at the top of the tunnel of light, she was dressed in white. I looked down and could see my body floating face down in the water. I had on brown pants, white shoes, and an over-shirt. I thought about this many times but never mentioned it until I read about a NDE in a magazine. I had always known about my near drowning, but none of the details. I questioned my mother about it, and she confirmed that she had thought that I was dead when she got me out of the water. I have never been afraid of dying, because of the extreme peace and calm that I associate with the experience. I realize that I was so very young, but the event is as real as if it happened yesterday. The woman seemed to draw me back to her, and then she just faded into a cloud-like atmosphere. 

NDERF.org #7

 

NDE review of this life and past lives

After a craniotomy, my body clinically hovered between life and death for two days, and my spirit left it at that time. I looked down at my body, and although it wasn't a pretty sight I was not concerned. I perceived it to be a vehicle, which carried me through the Earth school. I was in a place of love, kindness, compassion, contentment, acceptance and joy - a place of 'knowing'. I perceived myself and other beings as masses of energy, all connected and yet separate. There were no body forms or communication, as I know it in human form. There was simply a sense of all knowing. 

Each and every spirit being was supportive of each other, and I 'knew' them, although they didn't have the same forms as when I knew them on the Earth school. There were no limitations such as space or time in the spirit world. I was aware of the big picture regarding the past, present and future. I was aware that the Earth school experience was one part of my evolution. There was a review of my life in this body, and also my past lives. I was the judge as to the benefit and value of each experience. They all seemed very interconnected, and yet separate. There was a focus to each life experience, and all the experiences contributed to an end result. I didn't want to come back to the Earth school, and after some deliberation with the other beings of energy, including the God being, or large mass of energy, we decided that coming back would serve the greater good. 

I had a choice, and yet the choice seemed to be made in unity with the other beings. I also knew that if I didn't come back at this time, in this body, I would return to the Earth school in another body, to finish what I was here to do. Before the experience, I didn't believe or disbelieve in reincarnation. Now I am sure that I have had many reincarnations. When I came back into my body, I was content. It felt like my spirit was cuddling back into a warm comfortable place. At that time, my body clinically stabilized. First, I was not expected to live. When I did live my family and I were told that I would never function 'normally' again.

I don't function 'normally' according to conventional wisdom! I have lived life as an observant adventurer, and although I have always been on a path of discovery, the out of body experience intensified and reinforced all of my beliefs prior to the experience. It opened up more channels in the heart and mind, as with a radio. If we leave it on the same channel all the time, we will probably hear the same type of music, and the same slant on newscasts all the time. If we change the channel occasionally, we may hear something different. 

NDERF.org #3637

Too little anesthesia, then too much

In the middle of my surgery I woke up, looked at the doctor and told him that what he was doing hurt. He told me they would be done shortly and then realized I had woken from anesthesia, I remember they were talking about golf. He started ordering more anesthesia then I remember hearing my heart monitor beeping. The nurses started saying they were losing me and asking me to stay with them then 'beep, beep, beeeeepp'.

Next thing I knew, I was standing over the doctor watching them work on me, I wasn't scared I was fascinated. I could see everyone. I knew they were working on me, they seemed extremely hurried, and I remember it amused me because I was no longer in pain. I remember being pulled backwards and when I turned I was in an earthy tunnel and a door was before me that opened into a spectacular light. The light was brilliant, but it did not hurt! As I passed into it, it glowed with warmth, love, knowledge, and understanding. Not just my own knowledge but knowledge of everything. I had complete understanding, collective but separate. Everything made sense. Everything was more vivid, the colors were brighter and deeper, everything was tranquil and at peace the moment I crossed into the light.

I was now standing in a lush rolling meadow, covered with blooms and trees. I felt a presence strong and even more wonderful; I knew my family was with me. The presence had a deep resonating voice that touched the core of your soul. I don't remember what the voice told me, but the peace and calm seemed to magnify. I remember sitting in the meadow, I was cradling something in my arms, asking to cross a small free flowing stream, and not being allowed, I asked to stay. I did not want to go back. I knew the peace, warmth and light could not follow me back. I tried to walk toward the stream, but then I was being pulled down and backwards through the door. I remember leaving the warm glow of the light and being filled with immense sadness as all of the knowledge and peace left me, my senses dimmed, and my vision seemed muddied compared to the brilliant vibrancy of the meadow. I was angry, mad. I felt the air being knocked out of me as I hit my body and the pain returned.

I remember the nurse saying she's back, and I started sobbing telling them I didn't want to come back, begging for them to send me back to the light. The nurse just kept saying stay with us. Don't close your eyes just stay with us, and she was holding my hand. When I think about it I am filled with an extreme since of grief and loss but I know that I will be returning someday and then they will let me cross the stream. 

NDERF.org # 3745

Released from fear when says, "God help me."

When I started having my heart attack, as I was lying in the floor unable to move, I was afraid because I knew I was dying and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I won't bore you with the ride to the hospital and the treatments I received suffice to say I was overcome by the black veil of death. How ironic that's exactly what it is. After I realized I was on the other side and my fear subsided a little.

I realized that I had made a painless transition because you no longer feel the weight or trappings of your body. I was in total darkness that had put my panic emotion in overdrive. As I slowly began to acclimatize myself to my surroundings, I could feel evil slithering and crawling in the darkness all around me. I had only one thought going on inside me that being that they are looking for me! I was terrified and started looking for the light I thought was supposed to be here. I moved around as slowly and silently as possible looking for the light. I noticed it was lighter in one direction and started to move that way when I felt extreme aggression emanating from the right of me. Fearful of moving towards the light and highlighting myself with the light I instead withdrew into the darker shadow and stayed still. As I lay there listening to the scuttling and scurrying of all the evil feelings in the darkness around me I tried to figure out what to do next.

I knew if I moved from the amount of activity that was going on around me, that I would be discovered. I was at my wits end when I said, 'God help me.' Instantly everything around me went scurrying off in every direction and that was when I felt it. It is a feeling of Perfect love and trust. A feeling so strong that it could be felt so far away that traveling at supersonic speeds it would take half an hour to get there. The closer it came the stronger the feeling became until this immense feeling totally engulfed me in ecstasy so intense as to be unimaginable (for lack of better words) and lifted me by my elbows above the darkness and away we went; me being supported by two beings that felt better than a mother's breast to a newborn. I looked up at my benefactors and found that they were dressed in black gowns and had a screen over their faces that, if you looked closely, had a mirror like substance that reflected your own image back at you. They were giving me reassurances through feelings and music that was like talking, only better than language. There is nothing to learn you can understand totally. They stopped before something I couldn't make out what as it seemed that when I looked past them everything was out of focus.

One of them opened up what was as if a giant tobacco sack made of suede leather it was so soft. As she opened it, we all went inside and the sack closed over us. They then told me an immense amount of information in a gleaming. The gist of which is that this was my world and I controlled it and everything in it, I could bring anything I wanted into my world, no limits. It was mine to do with as I wished. The only rule was that if I removed something it could never come back. They then instructed me to picture in my mind a place that I felt safe. I did, and it developed right before my eyes. They then asked me if anything was wrong and I saw a couple of things that were and they instantly transformed, sort of like mercury rearranging, until they were perfect then they left. I started to explore my new world from the comfort of my oversized recliner and was really relaxing when suddenly they told me I had to go back to the other world for a while.

I voiced my objections, they firmly lifted me out of the pod, and away we went. I looked around as we were leaving as they said it was permitted of residents. I am unable to describe what I saw for lack of language to describe it. I wanted for a time after I got back to paint it but lack the talent to do so. Anyway, I was taken to a place where I could see my body through a black veil and was shoved feet first through the top of my head back into my body. When I opened my eyes I was inside my body, it was in pain, and the doctor and a nurse were asking me if I knew where I was. The doctor told me that I may have some broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder, among other things, and that I was on a balloon pump and it looked like I was going to recover some of my memories and functions damaged by oxygen deprivation. I looked down at my chest and it was discolored and swollen to resemble a football under the skin on the right side of my chest. I was uncomfortable to say the least; I tried to move my right arm and heard this awful loud scream. I looked around, I was back behind the veil, LOVE and TRUTH were there, and they asked why I was back so soon. Then they laid what looked like a chrome flashlight on my chest. It played a colorful tone, my chest went down, and they asked if there was anything else, I would like other than returning to my pod, as I like to call it. I said no and they told me it would be there waiting on me and then I was back.

NDERF.org #127 

During NDE told "God appears in a familiar form."

I had been ill with a bad case of bronchitis for several weeks. It was hanging on and on. I was traveling from Indianapolis to Terre Haute one day, and I got so tired, I decided to pull off at the little town of Cloverdale to take a brief rest. It was very cold. I parked the car in an empty parking lot and turned off the engine. I covered myself up with my coat and reclined my seat, just to try to get a short nap. The time was 12:02 pm. I did not go to sleep. After a few minutes, I began to have difficulty breathing. I fumbled in my purse for my inhaler, took a couple of inspirations from it, then lay back down - but I still could not breathe. I tried to sit up, but I was too weak. I struggled and struggled for air but simply could not breathe in or out. I started to pass out, and I became aware of my body, as if I were looking at it from the outside. I wasn't seeing it with my eyes, I was just aware there was a body there, that was struggling for air, and it was getting weaker and weaker. Then the body became very quiet.

I knew the body was mine, but I didn't seem to care very much about it. Suddenly I found myself in a tunnel. The tunnel was made of some transparent kind of bricks or blocks. Light shone into the tunnel through the bricks. It was a beautiful golden light, and it felt warm and comforting. I wanted to get to the light. I stepped into the tunnel, and as I did, the tunnel began to slowly rotate. I told myself to be careful of my footing so I would not fall as the tunnel rotated. I walked a step or two before I saw a door at the end of the tunnel. It was a heavy, ornate, blue door. I had no sooner determined that I wanted to go up to the door, when suddenly, there I was. I tried to open it, but I couldn't. Then information just flowed into me. I was told that once the door was opened, I would be confronted with a choice. It was going to be a very difficult choice, so I should think carefully before making it.

I stood quietly before the door, pondering the information, when suddenly it opened. I looked out on a great expanse of darkness immediately below and in front of me. Beyond the darkness, in the distance, was an endless galaxy. A bright Light, brighter than all the stars in the galaxy, shone from the center. This Light felt as if it were pulling me toward it. Below me, in the expanse of darkness, I could hear human beings in distress. I could tell they were suffering. It sounded something like a busy emergency room, but the suffering was palpable. Somehow, I knew if they would just turn to that Light, their suffering would end, but they were stubborn and would not turn to the Light.

As I looked out at this most beautiful sight of stars, planets, and the great radiant and loving Light, I saw tiny trails of blue, pink and green lights traveling across the expanse of darkness toward the Great Light. I wondered what they were, and instantly I had the information that they were prayers from people seeking the Light. They were very beautiful, and once they reached the Light, they were absorbed into it. Then larger trails of white light traveled from the Great Light outward. I knew that these were answers to prayers. I just wanted to watch the traveling of the lights, be warmed by the Light and enjoy the beautiful view. The Light turned a magnificent blue and rolled toward me like an ocean wave. It was not really close to me, but nevertheless I could see the image of Jesus within the blue wave. Love poured out upon me, like warm water. Jesus looked just like he did on the poster in my Sunday School class. I had the thought that if I had been a Buddhist, perhaps he would look like Buddha, and I was told, 'That is right. God appears in a familiar form.' I wanted to ask Jesus some questions, but suddenly I was told I had to make a choice. I was not told by a person, it was more like a chorus of voices that were not heard with my ears, but somehow communicated another way. They told me I could stay or I could go back. I was to think carefully before making a decision.

I thought about my three teen-aged children at home. They were all troubled. We had all been abandoned by my husband the year before. We were dealing with poverty and abandonment, in addition to all the stresses of puberty. I was very tempted to stay with the Light (which was now changing color and turning back into its original form), but I knew I could not abandon my children to a mean world without a mother. I did not even get a chance to tell the chorus that I had to go back to my children. As soon as I knew that I could not abandon them, I felt as if I had been dropped from thirty feet in the air onto a concrete slab. I slammed into my body with the most crushing pain imaginable. I could feel the fluttering of a preliminary heartbeat. I heard my body try to inhale. I felt the very cold fingers and cheeks. This body was extremely cold, and still it could not move. I heard it inhale sharply and groan. I listened for it to inhale again, and it did. I coaxed it, telling it when to breathe in and when to breathe out. I felt its heart gain a rhythm, and then I was completely within the body, struggling for a good breath.

I have never been so cold. The outdoor temperature was about twenty degrees, and my body seemed nearly that cold. I looked at the clock. It was 12:40 pm. It took nearly an hour of heating the car and my body until I could move effectively. My breathing was very tenuous. Eventually I became strong enough to drive home. 

NDERF.org # 4964

 

Nurse experiences near-death experience

Intense pain, loud noise, swiftly extracted through the top of my head to the uppermost left-hand corner of the ceiling of the surgical suite. Awareness of self as being present while observing medical staff suddenly going into resuscitation mode-realizing I still existed and was not afraid (contrary to previous earthly experience of being young, single mom raising a three year old and questioning Meaning of existence). I thought, 'This must be who I really am' when I myself in that state and found that 'I' was an alive entity/being without a body (and saw that body on the table). I thought, 'They think I'm gone, but I'm really up here.' I was exhilarated, curious, and wanted to 'see where this would go'.

In all, I recall four various dimensions, and curiously don't recall the transitions (in choosing to re-experience this daily in a meditative/prayer state I want to recall the transitions but have not). Next, I was moving/flying through space (dark void) at an unbelievably swift speed aware eventually that I could control speed and direction with awareness. Became aware there were objects in that dark space (maybe like stars in the sky?) that were bright in comparison and was attracted to them. I had the sense of avoiding some and 'steering' toward others (good and bad?).

Then there was One star of incredible dimension, brightness, beauty, majesty. As I was drawn toward it (combined with earnest choice), I could see complex shapes and colors. (Words don't describe it – I have tried to draw it.) I could see dimensions where the colors and shapes were overlaid one on another (like translucent immense precious stones fitted together to form a complex multi - doesn't describe - dimensional impression of a Most Loving Being that drew me to Him, invited me in, and pointed the Way to the Light. ALL wisdom and love was conveyed via unheard thought transmission from that Being (Jesus?). That light was a yet far distant point that I immediately (in combination again of will and being drawn) directly myself to with all earnestness with the conscious goal of uniting with that light (or perish?). As I approached, the light grew larger, brighter, compelling until I was suddenly thrust into it (beyond a sense of boundary) with indescribable speed. That is the only transition that is recalled.

Now, in the light, for eternity (seemed like), experience a sense of being 'held,' immersed, fully bathed, buoyant, ONE WITH THE LIGHT! The light was a golden light, warmth, and embracing. A state of (words are inaccurate) ALL LOVE, peace, unity, Wisdom from God, at the center, and innumerable other, unseen others poured into me to teach and explain to me the immense divinity of His overall plan from the beginning of time to the future. I soaked in with the conscious preciousness of gratitude for the unique, yet ever present for all, experience of knowing the immensity of the glorious plan. I felt like a 'chosen tutoree' with a privilege to be present here. I understood, in that experience, why and how God had been present and ever will be. That the experience on Earth is like a stage for all the divine beings to observe, cajole, and minister to individuals on Earth as they choose what they will and direct their own selves toward God or away (inadequate, incomplete theology to explain).

At the same time, I could perceive, from their perspective also the literal view of Earth from there (Heaven?) and even move around the planet from many, various perspectives while still being There and continuing to receive transmission. Seemed like an eternity that I wanted to remain in, yet there was a 'direction' to comprehend and maintain what I was learning. Eventually, there was a sense of a need to return and participate in transmitting and sharing this experience.

Actually, that came in the next dimension (not recall transition) where I was standing in front of the most beautiful, exquisite, representation of the English cottage I always conceived in my mind since earliest memory in childhood of the perfect home. I was outside the gate (picket fence with curved arbor climbing with roses) - so real. The golden light was streaming from the windows in the late dusk. I knew God was in the house. (I can see all the details of the home) I wanted to go in to be with Him. As I put my hand on the handle to go in, I was told 'If you go in you cannot come out. You have a little son (then four years old) who needs you. The people on earth need to know all that you have witnessed and experience. That their experience is not the totality of existence, but a crucial part of the overall plan.' Could 'see', understand, that my fear was an obstacle to coming to know God and His presence, not only for me, but also for all. That was the overriding message, the root of all evil in this world, and the foci of their interest, message, to this world. Then, I experienced the reverse of the initial experience. I was moving from that wondrous state back in and through the top of my head.

I became aware that I had a sheet over my whole body and head, that I was no longer in the surgical suite, and knew that they thought I was dead. I knew that I had to move, with all effort, finally did, and saw the surprise on the anesthesiologist's face who was present with the nurse who I did not see. Later, when roused by the surgeon, he dramatically questioned, 'Where did you go, I thought I lost you?' The rest is history. I recovered, chose not to return to work, focused on my son, behaved in ways that were incongruent with previous experience that were motivated totally by this experience.

Viva Tapper, PhD and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (1954-2015)