Asked to choose between life or death

At approximately 19:00 I went into full toxic shock and was rushed to the ICU after I called the nurse, and with the last call, was able to tell her that I was losing consciousness. The nurse immediately reacted. Dr Z and her team had to fight to keep me alive. It was like a movie – people shouting your name while running with you on the gurney, almost being rude to keep you awake. Lights flashing past, doors banging open and shut… eventually arriving in the theatre and seeing Dr Z, asking her to please phone Karl to tell him what was happening. Her response was: 'I can’t phone him now; I am saving your life.'

I could hear the urgency in her voice; we’ve known each other for years and she is not the kind of person to easily panic. I knew better than to argue with her.

I could feel myself flailing, going in and out of consciousness. Suddenly everything went quiet (what a relief!), I couldn’t hear anyone anymore and I couldn’t see anything to do with my physical surroundings. The pain and sickliness were gone, nothing hurt anymore.

I became aware of a Presence by my right shoulder, slightly towards the back, just out of view. In front of me was a soft pink glow, surrounded by even-softer green light. I was curious to see what it was, but I was asked by the Presence what I wanted to do: did I want to leave (earth) or did I want to stay (with my family on earth).

No words were spoken, it was just like an understanding; comprehending intelligence on another level. I didn’t want to be rude and not reply but I got a very strong feeling that if I didn’t choose soon, it would be too late. I thought about my two daughters (then aged 3 and 4 weeks) and my husband and decided to stay with them.

As soon as I made that decision, I started hearing everything again, feeling how sick my body was… Dr Z was standing to my right and demanded that I lie completely still – she had to insert a central venous catheter (CVP line) just below my clavicle – there’s a main artery that runs straight into the heart and this was our last resort – no anesthetic. A specialist was holding my left arm and a nurse was holding my right arm; if I moved Dr Z might punch a hole in my lung and then we have another problem. So I lay as still as I could and felt how the thick pipe wormed its way through my chest – straight into my heart. The next moment Dr Z released all the connections on the line and a rush of intravenous medicines pumped through my body. That felt quite good.

I was finally stabilizing but kept in the ICU.  

NDERF.org #9281

In car crash saw bright light and had life review

On 4/9/1979, I was 19 years old. My friend and I drove to Las Vegas from California to see Alice Cooper in concert. On the way home we were both drunk and stoned. We were getting on the freeway when the driver turn the wheel too sharply, causing us to roll down an embankment that was over 40 ft tall. The car rolled over at least 5 times. Back in 1979 there were no seat belts in the car. The car door opened, and I flew out of the car. My back was broken in three places.

I blacked out when we started to roll down the embankment. I remember walking towards a bright light. I saw my life review which was so peaceful. All of a sudden, I heard a voice saying that it was not my time. I felt as if I was on cloud 9, so when I got back into my body, I woke up and yelled for my friend. He did not answer, so I thought he died. When my soul came back into my body, I felt complete numbness from my waist down.

At the time, I did not know I broke my back. It was about 1:00am and about 10 minutes after I woke up, I saw red lights coming for me down the cliff. Since there were no cellphones back then, I have no idea who called them and how they find me. I never believed in the afterlife at age 19, but after what I experience, I truly know now that there is a heaven after seeing my life review and felt so at peaceful and warm. 

NDERF.org #9262

Spoke with Jesus during her NDE

I remember when going under for open heart surgery. I saw the doctors working on me and then losing me. My soul went into a white tunnel as I was guided by angels. There were SO many beautiful and BRIGHT colors that we don’t have on Earth. I remember being welcomed and having an overwhelming sense of comfort and Happiness. Everything was perfect. We didn't need to breathe, eat or sleep. There was no pain. All I needed to do was to be in the moment with a higher being. I met Jesus and he spoke to me. I asked him if I could stay because I felt so happy and loved being in that perfect place. He told me that it wasn’t my time yet; that I had a purpose. I begged and asked to stay. I told him that the world was evil and cruel. Again, he told me 'not yet'. I made it back to myself and woke up intubated. 

NDERF.org #9267

Extraordinary knowing by her grandmother

EMMA LOUISE
(BORN 1849, DIED 1933)

As told by granddaughter Janice B. (1884 NDE as related by two relatives)

The setting for these events is 1884. My grandmother lived with her family in a large home in Greenville, Michigan. She was the mother of four living children ranging in age from ten to an infant. My grandfather was a family doctor.

I will tell her story of a near death experience as I remember it being told to me many years ago.

My grandmother was seriously ill. An upstairs room on the third floor of the home was set aside as sickroom for her, away from the hubbub of her active children. A "hired girl" cared for the children and took care of running the household while grandmother was sick. During this period of time my grandmother seemed to have an uncanny knowledge of what was happening in the household and in the neighborhood, although no one was providing her the information nor could she hear what was happening on the floors below. The only example of this that I can recount is, for instance, she said, "A neighbor has brought over some freshly-chummed butter and left it at the back door. Will you, please, bring it in." There was no way she could have seen or heard this happening. I was told there were many other such instances.

There came a time when she became increasingly ill. My grandfather brought in a medical colleague for consultation. While they were with her she ceased to breathe and neither my grandfather not his colleague could feel a pulse. They declared her dead but my grandfather was not one to give up easily. He rigged up a battery to give a shock to her heart. She began to breathe again and lived another fifty years.

She recounted a most remarkable experience during this period of time after being declared “dead." She felt as though she were taking a gentle journey down a river. She heard beautiful music. She felt a degree of peace and joy such as she had never experienced before. She believed she was in heaven and recognized that she had died. While this was going on she began to have conflicting thoughts-I must go back, my children need me vs. I can't leave this contentment and beauty. This internal struggle went on for some time. Then she awakened and recovered her health, living a full and satisfying life, and seeing her children all grow up and have successful lives of their own.

Welcomed by a collective consciousness

I had a tonsillectomy and all went well until discharge, when I was given an injection of sulphur. I have no recall of any of this until I reacted about 15 minutes later in the car on the way home. I remember being sick on my mother’s lap and seeing the skin reaction. Next recall is sitting in the wall of the emergency section of the hospital and watching the events separate from myself.

The time seemed inconsequential and I was uninterested until a separate space opened in the room and I left. After a hazy journey (seemingly short), I was enveloped in light and exquisite and infinite love. By now, I recall this as an ageless soul. I felt, as best as I can describe, in a state of total bliss. Once again, there is no language to convey feelings. There seemed to be a collective consciousness who welcomed me, but at the same time conveyed the knowledge that I was the one responsible for the decision to stay or go back. 

I recall these decisions not as a small child but a person with accumulated knowledge to evaluate the choice and make a decision. The decision to return was based on the knowledge that I was not finished in my life and there were things to accomplish and fulfill. There was no distress at the thought of return and, once the decision was made, there was no more recall.

These experiences have stayed crystal clear and as fresh as when they occurred.

NDERF.org #184

 

Sees dead Grandpa who warns her Mom in dream

I was visiting a friend with Muscular Dystrophy, in Lake Tahoe. Barney was in a wheelchair, accompanied by his brother and friends. I had met Barney a short time before at a camp where I had been living. Barney had called me and invited me up to visit with him and his brothers in Lake Tahoe. I said ‘yes’ and booked a flight. After a couple of days, things were getting a little boring and I needed some outside time. Barney was not able to get around, so the time was spent mostly inside.

His brothers had been playing outside and invited me to come join them. They had tied a rope around the bumper of a car and were pulling their friend in a snow saucer across the snow-covered road. Laughing and giggling, they were having a great time. All of a sudden, the young boy they were pulling went out of control. As I was watching, I was horrified and immediately made a declaration into the Universe: ‘Oh God, don't let that happen to him. I know he won't survive the accident!’ He was heading for a parked car and I knew it wasn't going to be good. At that moment, he rolled over, bruised his shoulder, got up and walked away.

The following day I found myself doing exactly the same thing. It was in the late afternoon and Barney’s brothers asked me if I wanted a go at it. Not thinking about what had almost happened the day before, I said ‘Sure.’ I sat down crossed legged in the snow saucer and held onto the rope. The boys piled in the car and began to pull me through the snow. As I was being towed I said ‘Go faster!’ and at that moment a voice came in my head and said, ‘We’ll show you where 'Go faster' gets you.’ The boys turned off to the right and I swung out to the left, towards a parked car! I was moving at a rate of approximately 30 mph. A voice came in my head and said ‘You better turn your head or you will hit the car face on.’ So I turned my head and took the impact to left side of my head. ‘Oh my God, we killed Barney’s girlfriend! What are we going to tell him?’

I left my body and went into an aura of all white light! It was totally warm and Peaceful, pure Love emanating through me and around me. At that moment, my Grandfather, who had passed away earlier that year, appeared to me and we embraced. ‘My darling, you have a decision to make.’ I knew the decision was to stay or to come back.

At that moment, I had an opportunity to view my life. Everything seemed whole and complete, I knew my dog and cat would be taken care of, and I was pretty much willing to go, but I had some questions to be answered. I asked if there would be anything wrong with me if I chose to come back. A voice answered ‘No. The only thing that would show would be the scar of the tracheotomy.’ ‘Would I remember this dream?’ The voice came back, ‘Yes and if anyone would ask you about the scar, it would be an opportunity to share your experience.’ ‘If I chose to stay, what would be the cause of death?’ ‘It will show that your spinal cord had been severed.’ ‘If I stay, what will become of me?’ ‘You become the Light.’

At that moment a Highway Patrol man showed up by my side. My brother was in the Highway Patrol so I immediately recognized the uniform and came back into my body. I told him ‘I am having this incredible dream!’ He said, ‘No, you hit the car.’ I wanted to tell him about this out of body experience I was having but he brought it back down to a physical level. With that, I wasn't interested and went back out of my body. Soon the ambulance showed up, rolled me over, put me inside the ambulance, and rushed me off to the hospital.

On the way, I remember sitting up, out of my body and looking out the ambulance window. I remember remarking to myself ‘Oh, there is Lake Tahoe, and I have a ticket to fly.’ So once again, I was out of my body looking over Lake Tahoe from above. The ambulance pulled into the hospital, wheeled my body into the emergency room and I remember them asking about emergency contact numbers. I came back into my body and tried to give them the phone number of my mom, but I then started throwing up. There was blood and yuck and grossness all over me and I didn't want to hang around for that. So once again, back out I went.

When I finally came back into my body, I was sitting up in my body on the operating table. I was looking over my left shoulder, watching the doctors do the tracheotomy. When they finished, I lay back down in my body and resumed my life.

Now getting back to the point as to when I made my decision to come back. In the beginning, I met my grandfather in the Light. When the voice in the Light was talking to me, it seemed like it was coming from above. The voice was neither female nor male. When I was having the question answer period, it was as if my Grandfather had left. I remember there was a period of time that I was left alone, in this beautiful white marble surrounding, which I later described as a Maxfield Parrish painting.

Later I came to learn that my mother had a dream that night. My grandfather had come to her in a dream. He told her ‘Lauren is dead.’ My mother then said ‘No, you will not have her. She was only your granddaughter and you will not take her from me.’ She then became physically violent with him and then he left. That was her dream she shared with me, later on in the hospital. Simultaneously to my mother’s dream I remembered being in the Light and acknowledging the space, saying ‘that the gift I am being given is to stay, but I can't accept the gift right now, because my mother will grieve greatly for my loss.’ I saw that every time she fell into depression, she would sink deeper, because of my death. The voice came back and said, ‘So shall it be and what you shall receive is a blessing.’ At that moment, I knew I was going to survive the accident. Nobody else knew I was going to live, but I did.

I think that is why I was having so much fun coming in and out of my body. I was in the intensive care unit for several days in order to stabilize my body. I then had 9 hours of reconstructive surgery to wire my face back together. I remained in the hospital for several days after surgery, I was then able to fly back home. Six weeks later I was on vacation, in Mexico, with my mom. I was known in the hospital as a miracle case. I came back, full of Joy, making people laugh doing the IV Disco down the halls and making obscene calls to respiratory therapy, holding the phone up to my tracheotomy and breathing heavily! 

NDERF.org #7116

 

Discovers purpose to live "heaven on earth"

I had cancer (Hodgkin's Lymphoma), and on this morning, I could not move. My husband rushed me to hospital, where, after doing scans, they diagnosed me with grade 4B lymphoma (the highest grade). The senior oncologist looked at my report and told my husband that it was too late, and that my organs were now shutting down. I only had thirty-six hours to live. However, the oncologist said he would do whatever he could but prepared my husband that I would most likely not make it, as my organs were no longer functioning. They started me on a chemotherapy drip as well as oxygen, and then they started to take tests, particularly on my organ functions, so that they could determine what drugs to use.

I was drifting in and out of consciousness during this time, and I could feel my spirit actually leaving my body. I saw and heard the conversations between my husband and the doctors taking place outside my room, about forty feet away down a hallway. I was later able to verify this conversation to my shocked husband. Then I actually 'crossed over' to another dimension, where I was engulfed in a total feeling of love. I also experienced extreme clarity of why I had the cancer, why I had come into this life in the first place, what role everyone in my family played in my life in the grand scheme of things, and generally how life works. The clarity and understanding I obtained in this state is almost indescribable. Words seem to limit the experience - I was at a place where I understood how much more there is than what we are able to conceive in our three-dimensional world. I realized what a gift life was, and that I was surrounded by loving spiritual beings, who were always around me even when I did not know it.

The amount of love I felt was overwhelming, and from this perspective, I knew how powerful I am, and saw the amazing possibilities we as humans are capable of achieving during a physical life. I found out that my purpose now would be to live 'heaven on earth' using this new understanding, and to share this knowledge with other people. However, I had the choice of whether to come back into life, or go towards death. I was made to understand that it was not my time, but I always had the choice, and if I chose death, I would not be experiencing a lot of the gifts that the rest of my life still held in store. One of the things I wanted to know was that if I chose life, would I have to come back to this sick body, because my body was very, very sick and the organs had stopped functioning. I was then made to understand that if I chose life, my body would heal very quickly. I would see a difference in not months or weeks, but days!

I was shown how illnesses start on an energetic level before they become physical. If I chose to go into life, the cancer would be gone from my energy, and my physical body would catch up very quickly. I then understood that when people have medical treatments for illnesses, it rids the illness only from their body but not from their energy so the illness returns. I realized if I went back, it would be with a very healthy energy. Then the physical body would catch up to the energetic conditions very quickly and permanently. I was given the understanding that this applies to anything, not only illnesses - physical conditions, psychological conditions, etc. I was 'shown' that everything going on in our lives was dependent on this energy around us, created by us. Nothing was solid - we created our surroundings, our conditions, etc. depending where this 'energy' was at. The clarity I received around how we get what we do was phenomenal! It's all about where we are energetically. I was made to feel that I was going to see 'proof' of this firsthand if I returned back to my body.

I know I was drifting in and out between the two worlds, but every time I drifted into the 'other side', I was shown more and more scenes. There was one, which showed how my life had touched all the people in it - it was sort of like a tapestry and showed how I affected everyone's lives around me. There was another which showed my brother on a plane, having heard the news I was dying, coming to see me (this was verified to me as when I started to come round, my brother was there, having just got off a plane). I then saw a glimpse of my brother and me and somehow seemed to understand it was a previous life, where I was much older than he was and was like a mother to him (in this life, he is older than I am). I saw in that life I was very protective towards him. I suddenly became aware he was on the plane to come and see me, and felt 'I can't do this to him - I can't let him come and see me dead'. Then I also saw how my husband's purpose was linked to mine, and how we had decided to come and experience this life together. If I went, he would probably follow soon after.

I was made to understand that, as tests had been taken for my organ functions (and the results were not out yet), that if I chose life, the results would show that my organs were functioning normally. If I chose death, the results would show organ failure as the cause of death, due to cancer. I was able to change the outcome of the tests by my choice!

I made my choice, and as I started to wake up (in a very confused state, as I could not at that time tell which side of the veil I was on). The doctors came rushing into the room with big smiles on their faces saying to my family 'Good news - we got the results and her organs are functioning - we can't believe it!! Her body really did seem like it had shut down!'

After that, I began to recover rapidly. The doctors had been waiting for me to become stable before doing a lymph node biopsy to track the type of cancer cells, and they could not even find a lymph node big enough to suggest cancer (upon entering the hospital my body was filled with swollen lymph nodes). They did a bone marrow biopsy, again to find the cancer activity so they could adjust the chemotherapy according to the disease, and there wasn't any in the bone marrow. The doctors were very confused, but put it down to me suddenly responding to the chemo. Because they themselves were unable to understand what was going on, they made me undergo test after test, all of which I passed with flying colors, and clearing every test empowered me even more! I had a full body scan, and because they could not find anything, they made the radiologist repeat it again!!!!

Because of my experience, I am now sharing with everyone I know that miracles are possible in your life every day. After what I have seen, I realize that absolutely anything is possible, and that we did not come here to suffer. Life is supposed to be great, and we are very, very loved. The way I look at life has changed dramatically, and I am so glad to have been given a second chance to experience 'heaven on earth'.

NDERF.org #2766

See her book Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing