When the doctor told me I was dying. I knew I was terribly sick but the news made me emotionally freeze, followed by fear. My loved ones came to my hospital bedside and said their final goodbyes. My pastor said a final prayer for me. Everyone was leaving my room. My son looked back and said, 'Goodbye mommy, I'll come back to see you tomorrow to brush your hair.' This was so heart wrenching. In my thoughts, I cried out to God to please help me because I did not want to die. I could not stay awake any longer.
Next, I was above my body. I knew that I was dead. It was dark in the room, but I could see light. I was fearful at first, but the closer I got to the light. my feelings started changing. All fear and negativity disappeared. I did not walk into the light, yet it felt like I was being pulled into it; it was like being slowly sucked into the light. This light was so bright, yet it wasn't blinding and it didn't hurt my eyes. The light was soft and comfortable but brighter than looking at the sun.
When I reached the brightest point, I was no longer moving. I was at peace. I felt so many positive and wonderful feelings, such as calmness, peace, joy, love, and trust. In that moment, my experience was orders of magnitude better than any kind of earthly experience. For instance, I consider a mother's joy and love felt from the birth of her child is the best earthly feeling. But this experience makes that appear like a drop of water compared to a vast sea or ocean of this experience. There was no other place I wanted to be.
I could see a white, shadowy, female figure. I heard a voice, but the Male voice did not come from this figure. I was told to go back, all is well. The voice wasn't heard with my ears, but with my mind. I wanted go get closer to them, but couldn't. I knew that this was the boundary. When I refused to come back, the white, shadowy figure came closer to me. I knew this was my grandmother who raised me. She was bathed in soft, bright white light. It looked like cottony-soft clouds, unlike wearing clothes. She told me that it wasn't my time and that I had to return. She didn't say why, but I knew it was because my work on earth wasn't done. My children needed me. This knowledge didn't come from me, it was given to me in that moment. Yet still, I did not want to return.
In one quick movement, I was back in my body. The light was gone, and I woke up in my hospital room as I gasped for air.
NDERF.org #9218