Sunday, October 31, 2021

Jesus gives hope and purpose during NDE

At the time of my experience, I had a very hard life with disease and I had a feeling of disorientation. I was religious, being Catholic, but found no happiness in this denomination. Additionally, my wife passed after long suffering with cancer. Nursing her gave my life a purpose and was blocking out my inner turmoil. But after her passing, these questions arose again and I didn't find any answers. I was extremely exhausted due to the long nursing period. In short, I didn't see a sense in continuing my life and was trying to kill myself with my wife's remaining pain medications.

I was dozing off for some time. When suddenly, I was startled because I was literally ejected out of my body. I was wide awake and floating above my body. It looked so unfamiliar from a bird's eye view. I left the room and the house. The journey stopped in endless space. Gradually, I became aware of the presence of spiritual beings, but didn't pay them any attention. 'Seeing' was a pleasurable experience because everything was seen and perceived through consciousness. Perception and understanding was amazing; happening immediately. I marveled at how slow is the mind in comparison to this.

At first, there was a slow forward motion. But I didn't know why I was moving or where I was going. Suddenly, the destination of the journey seemed to be clear. Then, the forward speed increased like going into hyperdrive. I was rushing through worlds at amazing speed. The only thing I perceived was the alternating of the different colors and light intensities. With this, I always was floating about half a meter above the ground. I didn't feel any resistance at all; no friction due to the velocity.

Finally, I reached the destination. Around me it was pitch-dark. I perceived the presence of many beings. They gave me the impression of being slow and especially dull. They didn't speak together. They even seemed not to notice the darkness because they were so much involved with themselves. I was thinking, 'Here, I'm at the wrong place. I don't feel well here!'

Even though it was pitch-dark I could see distinctly that I was standing on the shore of a lake. I didn't have the time to think about my condition because I could see a boat far away. Standing upright in the boat, there was a man holding a lantern and he was looking towards us. I immediately knew him. It was Jesus! No wonder he was the only light to be seen far and wide. But I didn't care about him. I was completely lethargic about him. Finally he came ashore and stayed about an arm's length away from me. He looked at me with indescribably shiny, loving eyes and gave me a hug.
I was immediately surrounded in brightness. Immediately, all my worries and burdens fell away from me. It was simply wonderful being bathed in bliss and love! Suddenly, I was filled with a confidence that I never knew before. It was like I was a different person. It was immediately clear to me, that only my own thinking had been limiting my potential. He was 'talking to me in my mind' and told me two things about my future; that I would find my spiritual master and reach the goal of spiritual effort otherwise known as 'self-fulfillment.'

How I came back to my body, I don't know. I had been in a coma for three days at home, and later on at the intensive care station. What I remember next, is looking for my room in the psychiatric ward. I couldn't remember my room number and all the doors looked the same.

In the same week when I was back home, a working friend told me that she wanted to reduce her private library and asked me if I may have any interest in a book of Ramana Maharshi, an Indian mystic. I had never heard of him, but I remembered Jesus' words that I would find my spiritual teacher. The book captivated me from the beginning and it became my life's compass. Twenty years later,the second declaration of Jesus came true. How terrible would it have been if my suicide had been successful and I would have seen how my life could blossom. I had no idea that it could change in a way that I never could have dreamed of. 

NDERF.org #8950

Saturday, October 30, 2021

Guardian angel Michael held her hand during NDE

I woke up the morning of October 31, 1990 from a strange dream that I was pregnant again. It felt like a baby was in the womb and my belly was round with a baby. I noticed that my period had arrived and I was bleeding heavily. I was surprised because I had been breast feeding. I called the Doctor's office and they said that it was probably normal but to keep a watch on it. I packed up my newborn baby girl and book bag. Then I took a city bus to the University to attended classes that morning with my baby. I felt fine. It was only on the bus ride back home, at about 10:30 AM, that I felt something roll out of my body and down my pant leg when I stood up to get off the bus. Much to my horror, I realized it was a blood clot the size of a softball. I picked my clot up as people gasped and stared at me. I made the decision that I wasn't going to be able to make the few blocks walking to make it back home. I crossed the street to the Hospital. I only made it as far as the grass out front of the emergency room. I was gushing blood and started to get dizzy and light headed. I tried to get the attention of two emergency room paramedics who were smoking out front. But, I couldn't make a sound louder than a whisper. I tried to fall with my arms outstretched so that I didn't fall on my baby newborn girl. I passed out while falling to the ground with my baby in my arms.

Next thing I remember was waking up in the emergency room. I was receiving emergency blood transfusions and told that I had probably retained placenta from birth. They told me that they would need to do an emergency D&C to help scrape my uterus. I then was taken to surgery. I was in surgery three more times that day, yet they couldn't stop the bleeding. I was given an experimental drug that was suppose to 'seize' my uterus and make it 'clamp' down to get the blood loss to stop. It caused me to stop breathing instead. They were able to revive me and thought that they had 'fixed' me. They took me to the maternity ward to recover and be reunited with my newborn daughter who needed to be breastfed. The nurse who helped me to deliver her on October 1st was just getting starting her shift. She brought me a plate of food to try to get me to eat. When I tried to sit up to, the hemorrhaging started again and it was even worse than before. I was pretty weak. They called a crash cart and asked me for my parents phone number. I was shaking, cold, and going into shock. They weren't able to get a reading on my blood pressure and my resting heart rate started to elevate. It was going 130 beats per minute and then it was going over 150 bpm. I was in pain because the blood was leaving my head and arms and legs. They stuck a big needle in my neck and started pumping blood directly into my neck. I knew that was dying and not going to make it. My heart went up to 180 and then over 200. The amount of pain was unbearable. I was scared and didn't want to die but couldn't take pain anymore. Every cell in my body was screaming due to the lack of oxygen. I was given over 56 units of blood. I was scared and so were the doctors and the nurse. I remember a Doctor told me that they were going to operate and take my uterus out. He said that I might not survive the operation because I was so weak. I was asked to sign a medical waiver. A catholic priest came into the room to give me last prayers. I could not longer move or talk or blink. The pain was too much. When my heart rate hit 220, I heard them say I was in defibrillation. They were trying to shock my heart. I couldn't even use my eyes anymore. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't breath. I learned what it means to lose total control.

At my darkest and lowest and saddest moment, I realized that I wasn't alone. I realized that I had a guardian angel just to the right of me. I knew his name was Michael. He was holding my hand. I realized that there was a second angel who was next to Michael. I rose above my body. I could see the doctors were very scared. I could see that my body was blue in color and in very grave condition. I was drawn into the hallway because I could hear my daughter crying for me. I tried to comfort the doctors and nurses. I wanted to tell them that it was okay. I could hear and see that nurses were fighting about me in the hallway and upset that I been taken up to the maternity ward. I should have been in intensive care unit (ICU) or the emergency room. At some point, a veil lifted. I was drawn into a long, dark tunnel that had a very bright, white light that was shining love. I could hear harps and saw my great uncle Harry Ed and Aunt Vickie. I was in total bliss and happiness. I was home. I didn't want to go back. I had a life review where I saw ever single event from my life. I saw every act of goodness and kindness. I saw every act of spite or ill-will. I also got to see it from the other person's point of view. Although time did not exist, this life review took forever but in reality it was only a blink of a second. I didn't want to go back because I was surrounded by love and the light was god. I realized that we are all brothers and sisters. We all love each other very much but we live in fear on earth and that prevents us from realizing and remembering that were all connected. I felt such incredible love.

I saw courtyards with beautiful vibrant roses that were more colorful than on earth. I saw colors that do not exist. I understood infinity and all the knowledge of the universe. I saw white buildings that were open and in the sky. They reminded me of buildings from Greece and Athens. I saw the future for my children and I, where I came to understand that their father was not to play a role in our lives. I was told this so that I could be strong and still love him, even if he was away. I was liberated. I no longer had to love or try to please this person. I knew I had to go back, but I really wanted to stay. I knew that it would hurt to go back to my body. I truly knew that this was home. The bright light filled everything and was totally god's love - unconditional and filled with such joy and peace!

I woke up in the ICU. After resuming my life, I found that nothing in life was as hard as coming back. I found that school was easy and all of life's challenges are a breeze. I am not afraid of death! I can read people's minds and see into the future. I see articles on TV or in the paper and I'm reading them 31 days into the future. I have dreams that come true and I get to visit Michael the angel or my loved ones or pets that have crossed over. I come sometimes heal people or start engines or charge batteries or open doors with my mind. I've been the person to arrive to car accidents or suicides or drug overdoes on dozens of occasions. I have performed CPR and brought people back to earth or helped them to pass over. I was not surprised when the father of my child died a few years later. I had already been given that knowledge. Michael told me telepathically. We did not have to use words. I know when I'm going to die or may come close to it once again. I learned that everything we do matters. Even the person you smile to on your way to the bakery or work. Even the creatures big and small that you bend over to pet. Nothing goes unnoticed. It all matters. My purpose is to stand up for the meek, to be compassionate, but most of all is to love. 

NDERF.org #9029

Thursday, October 28, 2021

"The liquid love flowed through my heart."

In the middle of the night, I awoke with a severe migraine. I'd experienced occasional migraines since I was a teenager, but this particular migraine was extremely painful and I should have sought treatment at the Emergency Room. However, since I had very young children at the time, I didn't want to wake them or my husband, so I attempted to treat myself. I took my prescription migraine medication, but it did not provide any relief from the pain. Instead of waiting an hour before taking the second dose as the instructions advised, I waited 20 minutes and took the second dose. I also took two over-the-counter pills for migraine. I have always been very sensitive to medications, but at the time I did not consider this. I was only focused on relieving the intense pain. After taking the medications, I became very sleepy and returned to bed. When I drifted off to sleep, I would awaken by gasping for breath. I quickly realized that when I drifted off to sleep, I stopped breathing. I was fearful I would fall asleep and die. I said a very simple prayer, 'Dear God, please don't let me die. I want to be a mother and a wife.' As I said the prayer, I doubted God would hear me. At that time in my life, I felt insignificant. I was not sure God existed, and if He did, I didn't think he would know me. But I was about to be proven wrong.

Immediately after praying, I felt a presence come over my bed. I was lying on my back with my eyes closed, but I could sense a shadow had been cast as something moved over my body and then stood next to my bed. As soon as I felt the presence, I was frightened and I heard a Bible verse in my mind, 'An angel of the Lord stood by them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.' I realized I had received the Bible verse telepathically and an angel had arrived to help me. Then it felt as if the angel slipped his hand directly into my stomach. I felt a sensation unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Static was moving in my stomach and throughout my torso. I also saw in my mind's eye a vision of black and white static, as like on a tv set without reception. At the same time, I felt my deceased father's presence and I could hear him speaking into my right ear. He repeatedly said, 'You're going to be ok, you're going to be ok, you're going to be ok.' 

As the angel stood to my left and my father spoke to me from my right, a very large, powerful presence hovered over the length of my body. When I noticed the large presence, my inner vision was changed to that of a crystal blue waterfall. The water was sparkling clear and the most beautiful blue I have ever seen. As I marveled at the sight of the water, the static sensation in my torso dissipated and was replaced with a sensation of liquid love rushing into my heart. The love was so pure and overwhelming that I immediately began to weep. The liquid love flowed through my heart and filled up my chest cavity to the point that I could not expand my lungs to inhale. I was aware of having difficulty breathing, but it did not concern me. I was so blissed out from the love, that nothing else mattered. I had the realization of, 'This must be God.' It was so large, infinite, and powerful, that I just knew it could have no other name than God. Once I realized I was in the presence of God, my next thought was, 'Oh no, God is going to judge me for taking too much medication.' I waited for the judgement. It did not come. I moved into the flow of God, searching for His judgement. No judgement was there. Not a speck. Only pure, adoring love was in the infinite flow of God.

At this point I lost awareness of my body. I did not recall I was a mother, wife, daughter, friend. I had no recollection of life on earth. I merged into an infinite presence that utterly and completely adored me. God did not speak words to me. The love said it all. I felt as if I was an awareness, a being without a name or identity, and I was expanding to the size of the cosmos. I was home. I realized home was where I wanted to remain forever and in my blissed-out state, it took all the energy I could muster to telepathically communicate, 'Take me.' With these two words, I was attempting to communicate that I wanted to remain in the pure love forever. As my presence continued to expand in a state of bliss, it felt as if I was nearing a point where I would explode into a billion atoms and forever be with God. I mentally prepared myself for the explosion and gladly welcomed it. At the very last millisecond before the explosion of my being and my total emergence into infinity, Go

NDERF,org #9268

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

During NDE guided by his deceased grandmas

I was a latch-key kid and also the type that hated staying home. I had been sick in bed with pneumonia, for a week. On Friday, my parents were at work. I decided enough was enough and headed off to school. We lived in the country and my school was about a mile away. It was a gray overcast, rainy day. I walked to school in my windbreaker and baseball cap. By the time I got to school, I was soaked to the bone. I slid into class and, after about an hour, I felt really bad. By lunchtime, I decided to leave school to go home. By the time I walked in the door, I was delirious. I walked out of my clothes and fell into bed. I remember coughing and coughing, and feeling so, so sick. I was so cold.

Slowly everything went dark. I heard a roar of what sounded like an engine, and then there was nothing. I remember standing up and seeing my body lying in my bed. I felt very calm. I turned to see my grandmother standing there in her pink dress. I knew it wasn't her as she had passed away only months before. She smiled and held out her hand. I took her hand and the next thing I knew I was flying and moving incredibly fast! There were these beautiful beings all around me. I began to cry.

One of them stopped me abruptly. They all surrounded me; they were lovely and full of love. One reached out and touched my chest. The touch was so warm that it seemed to smile. They talked to me without moving their mouths; I actually can't remember if they had mouths. They took me by the hands and we flew to a golden city that was surreal in color. Another Being approached me who was different and older than the rest. We talked for what seemed like forever. Then the Being placed its hand on my shoulder and BAM!

I was on an escalator in some shopping mall, to which I had never been. I was on the up-escalator. At the top of the escalator, waiting for me, were both of my deceased grandmas dressed in their Sunday best dresses. I remember their words as if this happened yesterday. ’Well, little man, you have quite the journey ahead, but this is not your time’. They began to tell me things that would happen in my life, like the woman I would eventually meet, fall in love with, and marry. They showed me the death of my cousin, and told me I must return to my body. Before I left, they said I would live a long and prosperous life, and then BOOM!

I felt pain; I heard the sound of a thousand freight trains. I opened my eyes to see our next-door neighbor who was a nurse. She was on the floor bent over me, with eyes full of tears. She started crying. I was very confused and embarrassed that I was lying there in only my underwear. 'Are you okay?' I asked. She smiled and hugged me. Her husband came rushing into the room. He looked gray and older. About five minutes later, a fire truck and an ambulance arrived. My mom and dad came home a short time after that.

I found out later that the school had called my mom and asked why I went home. She told them that I wasn't at school and that I was home sick still. She then called home and after I didn't answer she called the neighbor to check on me. When the neighbor came over, she found me. I was not breathing and did not have a heartbeat. She screamed for her husband and then started CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation). She said she worked on me for 10 minutes and was about to stop when I awoke. 
NDERF.org #7511

Monday, October 25, 2021

In NDE, "A halo of light surrounded me."

I was not feeling well and I wasn’t paying attention to my driving. I reached an intersection and looked to both sides of the street without much care. I did not see any cars coming, so I continued along my way. Suddenly, I heard a loud car horn followed by a loud crashing sound. At that moment, I found myself floating in a dark space. I was outside my body, floating in the air and just looking around.

I saw a body lying in the middle of the street next to a car. I was looking at it from several feet away. It took me a little while to recognize that it was my own body that I am looking at. I had no feelings for it; I was just an indifferent observer. I thought to myself that I must have died, but I was not sad at all. I didn't know where I was supposed to go from there. My thoughts and mind were the same as when I was in of my physical life, but I could not imagine the earthly thoughts.

After a short while, I gave up the worry of where I need to go from here, because I was enjoying the peace and silence. I was immersed in that moment. I was just watching from several feet up in the air as people were rushing towards my body from every direction. I couldn't hear their voices clearly, yet I was able to comprehend what they were saying. When I looked at these people, I knew their thoughts and what they were going to say.

Since there was a hospital on the same street where the accident occurred, it didn't take long for the ambulance to arrive. The medics put my body on a stretcher and transferred me to the ambulance. The driver turned on the sirens and sped towards the hospital. In the ambulance, the emergency medical team injected something into my body but it was no use. My body did not respond. Although I was detached from my body, I still felt like I was also somehow inside of my body too. Nevertheless, I was not feeling discomfort or pain. At the same time, I was feeling that I was going higher and higher each second.

I was floating like on a wave and felt so light. At the beginning and end of the accident, everything was moving so fast. When I exited my body, it was in another form, that was transparent and non-physical, yet it was similar to a human form. Although I saw the new form, I wasn’t giving it any thought. I was feeling pleasantly warm, could not smell or taste and did not have any bodily physical senses. I could not feel physical things, but my eyesight was greatly enhanced. I felt like I had turned into energy.

I was flying and entered into a gray-colored environment. I tried to reach a gray and dusty light that was moving in front of me. As I got closer to this light, it became brighter. The light looked like a vapor or smoke that is lit up under a street light. It was formless and had colors of blue, orange, yellow, and gold. I didn't know what it was. The light didn't bother my eyes and wasn’t blinding. I was pulled towards the light with great force. The closer I got to it, the more joy and peace I felt. After a while, I noticed Beings similar to me but they were more brilliantly colored and were moving slower than me. Then I was surrounded by my deceased relatives. I was feeling so much joy and lightness from seeing them. I felt they were there to help me. Their body was transparent and luminous. It never occurred to me to ask them questions like where am I, where am I going, what will happen to me, am I dead? They didn't talk to me either.

A halo of light surrounded me into itself. My life and all of its events started to play in my mind, but it was very clear, real, and alive. It was like a slideshow, but I experienced all the feelings in these events again. Everything was shown in chronological order. Although this whole life review only took minutes, it was pleasant and interesting to me. Once my life review stopped, my mind started to analyze my life and my actions. I felt that overall, I was relatively kind to people.

After that, I felt freedom. The halo of light left me and I felt like I have to return to the physical life. I was trying to avoid this from happening because I was experiencing new and pleasant things. But I automatically left that environment and moved into a grayish-blue environment and was put into a supine position and slowly, with no effort, returned back into the ambulance. The ambulance entered the hospital and they transferred my body into the intensive care unit. My floating Being could easily pass through the walls. It was like as I got close to a wall, it would go away. I could not feel any physical thing or barrier. I knew I was moving, yet I could not feel the motion. I entered the operating room, positioned somewhere close to the ceiling. Doctors and nurses were surrounding my body, but no one noticed me up by the ceiling. They were massaging my chest area. A nurse inserted a tube into my throat and used that to give me breathing. Another doctor injected something in my body. But my body was not responding. I heard a doctor shout, ‘code pink!’

Right then, as I was floating in the air, I passed through something fixed and light, which I felt from my side. An immense feeling of loneliness, depression, and fear engulfed me. I knew that my communication with others was cut off and I could not speak to people. I felt if I don't enter my body again, I would die forever. I was sad for my family and friends and how they would feel after my death. I could imagine and feel their feelings. On the other hand, there were important works I needed to finish and I thought I am too young to die. Nevertheless, I wanted to stay in this pleasant non-physical environment. I felt I need to decide quickly whether to stay in my body or outside of it. I felt that I cannot stay outside for too long or I would die permanently. So I decided to return.

During all this time the medical staff were trying hard to save me. Several times, they gave me an electric shock, but I didn't feel anything. However, I felt I am getting heavier and being pulled down towards my body. It was like their effort was working. When they shocked me again after several times, my body jumped up. I felt I entered my body like a solid object, with a jerk. I felt I am inside my body and heard the nurse shout, "Wow, it worked!"

When I was entering my body, I heard a whistle and felt I am in an open and dark space that is like a funnel and am entering my body from the head. After I entered my body, I felt lots of intense pain. I think I was out for 15 to 20 minutes. For several days, I was not in the natural state. When I healed a little bit, my doctor told me, "You passed a critical state." I said that I know and told him my entire experience from the beginning to the end. He was amazed and speechless.

Since that experience, my mind and soul is more important for me than my body. Some say that I have a healing effect on them. Now I feel I get along better with people and have more tolerance for them. I can better understand their feelings and what is going on inside them. This experience has changed my life and my thinking. I am no longer afraid of dying, as I have experienced it once.



From Gonbade Kavoos, Iran -Winter of 1996, NDERF.org #16074

 

Sunday, October 24, 2021

During NDE "it seemed like I knew everything."

I had lost a lot of blood from liver failure and had to be rushed from Lao to Thailand in an ambulance and by the time I arrived at the hospital I was in a very bad way. I was put into the intensive care unit and they started blood transfusion but I was losing too much blood. I was conscious but in extreme pain and tried to doze on and off, while they kept putting tubes in and out doing tests etc., etc. This went on through the night and more blood was flown from Bangkok the next morning. I remember the doctor saying that a specialist was going to use a scope that they would enter into my stomach. This would be uncomfortable and hurt but they needed to stop the bleeding as I was fading very fast. I was already in extreme pain like I had never experienced before and it seemed that every hair and atom in my body just screamed with pain.

I remember being rolled on my side so they could place the tube into my mouth and then I blacked out. All of a sudden, there was no pain and I remember distinctly a humming noise like the sound of very powerful electrical current that was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. It is so hard to explain but it is like a hummmmm but as if the most perfect orchestra in the world played it. You probably won't understand that part but it was very distinctive.

The next I remember was seeming to become part of everything but moving with huge fluorescent light structures that formed waves and were perfect in size and movement and the light was perfect. For some reason everything seemed to all of a sudden make sense, the world, myself, everything was answered in an instant and it seemed I knew everything. There were no beings but energy like myself that was part of everything. There was no coolness, heat, wind, or anything just perfect fluorescent lights that controlled all the structure and gently everything moved in waves. I then just remember coming back and the doctor and everyone was standing over me panicking and the pain started to come back again.  

NDERF.org #2851

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Near drowning convinced him that "we do live on"

My uncle jumped into the pool as I was coming up from the bottom to the surface. Just as I was about to surface, the force of him jumping beside me pulled me down under. I ran out of air and took a big breath of water. After a few minutes, people realized that I was drowning and took me from the pool. 

I remember it like it was yesterday I was above the pool about five-six feet up. I remember saying aloud to myself I am all right. I felt amazing, a feeling of total joy. There was no pain. I was looking down and could see people around somebody on the sidewalk beside the pool. I did not know who anyone was. 

I was I looking down but what I saw was not Bob. I did not even know Bob, but I was still me as I was before I drowned. I do not know how to explain this any other way. I believe that our bodies die but we do live on. I could see and hear everything. How is that possible? The whole thing lasted about six or seven minutes. 

Just before I came back into my body, there was a lot of pain, but somehow I knew that it was just the pain of life. I never told anyone about this until my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. I don't think he really believed me. It’s one of those things you have to experience to believe. I don't know what to make of it.

NDERF.org #20703

 

Friday, October 22, 2021

NDE while underwater for an hour

My friend and I set out to enjoy a day of tubing in the river. It was a warm spring day after an early winter thaw. We synchronized our watches so we would know how long it took to get to the Boy Scout Dam. Unfortunately, I got caught in a current and went over the dam. I remembered not to panic. I started to take in water and then I was going up a tunnel that was angled at a 45° angle.

The light was so white, it was blue. I arrived in a room where an unknown entity held me while I was shown a life review. This included the newspaper report of my death with even a clerical error of the location. I was then told that it was not my time yet because I had many life lessons to experience. I did not want to go back.

I was catapulted out of the water about two to three feet into the air. Meanwhile my friend searched frantically for me. Over a hundred times he said. 'I ran all the way home to get help, no one was home.' He subsequently ran back to resume looking for me. When I suddenly and forcefully emerged from the tunnel. My friend thought I was joking or pulling a prank. He was very angry, scared, and in shock. I was missing for almost an hour. I gasped, vomited, and finally regained my composure. 

My friend and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was underwater for almost an hour and there is no way for this to have logically transpired.

Since this event, I have been able to feel others pain in an unexpected and profound way. I try not to tell people my story because they think I may have exaggerated it or experienced hypoxia. But I assure them it was real and the other side is where we all will go. The very personal experience I had emotionally cannot be explained with the English language. It was beyond imagination and I will not try to convey it in this forum.
NDERF.org 7865

Thursday, October 21, 2021

"I know we are all here for a purpose."

It was nearly 28 years ago when I had my near death experience. I was twelve years old and in junior high school. I had an accident at a school function, and was accidentally hung by a rope around my neck. I was alone at the time of the accident, and I remember looking for something to stand on to pull myself up. I was frantic!

Then I remember looking at myself from an outside perspective. The next thing I saw was a bright loving light. It looked like a million light bulbs close together, forming one huge, loving light. I went towards it and was pulled through to a place where I remember feeling peace and love beyond measure. I was then welcomed by so many people I knew and loved! Some were people I knew only in heaven before coming to earth. The love and happiness was so strong! I don't remember seeing bodies, only energies or auras. We communicated telepathically. They were surprised I was there so soon. Then I was shown to a spirit guide who led me to a building that had Greek columns out front. It was a massive building.

Then I was brought to a room full of other people and their spirit guides. Each of us were standing around something like a circular table. It had a dome in the center of the table. I looked into the dome and started my life review. I could witness and experience my life from many different perspectives. I felt what others felt from my actions from their point of view. It was hard to go through, but I knew it was to learn and grow from my time on earth. I remember hearing others cry, laugh, and other things because of what they did on Earth. My spirit guide told me it was okay, and that we are all loved; that this was not a judgment. I was told that we all learn best by experiencing it ourselves. God does not judge us. We are all learning beings. The hardest of part of judgment comes from feeling our lives from so many different perspectives. I could take as long as I wanted because this review was to learn and gain empathy.

Then, I was taken to a room where the energies that had a really hard time with the life review were put to sleep to recover and heal. They were surrounded by a loving white light. I was shown a place where everyone has a preset life on record, chosen by us. I was shown my life path. Reincarnation is real, but it is our choice to incarnate. We do so to learn and grow. God is Love. We are sent to Earth to love and be loved unconditionally. Heaven looks just like Earth and is unbelivably beautiful. I could travel anywhere just by thinking about it. Time doesn't exist in heaven. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made. The image of God is the emotion/energy of Love.

I was then told that I would need to come back to Earth. I didn't want to come back and I fought it. But, I was told my mission was to speak to the world about my experience and to teach that God is love and our purpose here is to show love and kindness to everyone. Heaven is REAL.

The next thing I knew, I was on the ground being given CPR. For months later, I remember being depressed because I wanted to go back. I have only shared this experience with only a handful of people. However, I am feeling the pull to share my story. It is difficult because I am a teacher, and I live in a very conservative area. Many of the things I experienced even go against my Christian religion. I do not hold all the answers. I believe that there is a God, and I cannot deny the existence of Heaven.

I believe that whatever I believe, that if it resonates with me, helps demonstrates love to others, and gives me peace, then that is my truth. I can have bits and pieces of what I personally experience in a NDE and still find peace going to church or hiking in the mountains etc. It is my connection to God's Love that matters.

I have been highly sensitive to iridescent lights and loud sounds since my NDE. I also find myself to be highly empathic, and it seems all my senses were extremely heightened since this experience. I'm not sure why I remember so much from my NDE. I feel blessed to not fear death. I know we are all here for a purpose. I am more aware of my actions and behavior towards others. I try to show kindness and love to others. Life is a constant work in progress. I know that God is Love and Heaven is real. I hope this gives some of you comfort. Thank you for letting me share. 

NDERF.org #8887

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

In coma, "I could see all of creation."

I was having unusual pains in my chest, so I called for an ambulance. My wife was at work. When I called her, she said she would come home and take me to the hospital since the ambulance was taking a long time. I said, 'No, I will wait for the ambulance.'

The ambulance arrived and the emergency medical technicians settled me in the ambulance. Shortly thereafter, my heart stopped. The ambulance had planned on taking me to a large hospital but since my heart stopped, they took me to the nearest hospital. I was without a heartbeat for 24 minutes and underwent CPR for 45 minutes. When my heart started again, I was transferred to the large hospital. I had stents put in and remained in a coma for 10 days.

At some point in all of this, my consciousness was transported to the edge of the Universe where I could see all of creation. I did not know the Universe had an edge. I thought it was infinite.

I could see all the planets and stars. When I focused my attention on anything, such as the Earth, it came to the fore in my field of vision. Throughout this experience, I felt incredible love that remains beyond my ability to describe. I also was aware that I was a part of everything I saw as well as still my individual self. I was both, the observed and the observer. I encountered my first born son who had died in infancy. Yet, here, he was an adult.

There were some horse-like animals that were marked like yellow and orange zebras. While I was in a coma, the nurses suggested to my wife that she bring in some of my favorite music and play it to see if it might help me come out of the coma. On the tenth day, I emerged from the coma to Bob Dylan singing, 'Knocking on Heavens Door.'

After waking up from the coma, strangeness persisted. For instance, my room in the hospital overlooked the parking deck. I saw an old man out there every day who was drinking beer. When I asked about him, nobody but me saw him. Then my 3-year old grandson came to see me in the hospital. He saw the old man and asked who he was. Later, my grandson said the old man went home with him. I figure it must be so, as I never saw the old man after that day.

Once I was released from the hospital and began driving again, I felt as if there was someone else doing the driving and that my consciousness was still separate. It took quite awhile for my body and consciousness to reintegrate.

I loved being on the other side. I did not want to come back and thought about how to get back to the other side; even considering suicide. Over time though, I am fully reintegrated. I am different though. I do not fear death at all. I am extremely sensitive now. Perhaps too much so, as my wife tells me I overreact to things.

Also at some point while in the coma, I could see myself and my hands were tied. When I woke my wife said I had been restrained to keep me from pulling the intubation tube out. After that, I would not sleep, staying up all night watching television while still at the hospital. My wife said that when I came out of the coma, I cursed a lot around everyone. This was not normal for me. When I came out of my coma, I told the nurse that I rode on the back of a turtle from the underworld. Not knowing this, my wife had purchased a turquoise turtle and placed it near my bed. I like turtles for some reason.  

NDERF.org #9216

Sunday, October 17, 2021

"I was truly one with all of creation."

I remember going into the operating room and then I felt myself swimming upward in something that was heavier than air but lighter than water. I was met by a magnificent female-type being that scooped me up in her arms as though I were an infant.

She took me, placed me in a crystal-like bed, and told me to rest because there were beings who wanted to honor and welcome me. I saw beings queuing up to greet me. I spied Jesus amongst them and immediately felt as though something was wrong. I asked the being that brought me, 'How is it that Jesus wants to honor me?' I told her that I was afraid that putting myself at the same level as Jesus would damn me to hell. She laughed and told me there is no hell! We are all equal in spirit form. She then said that I was still veiled and made a gesture that must have taken off the veil because I immediately went to a place I now call the sea of light. As I stretched out my arms I felt as though my body exploded and I was no longer in bodily form. I could not see any separation. I had no beginning or end. I was truly one with all of creation and I could only see myself as a purple and gold light amongst all the other.

The being that brought me told me it was time to go back. I cried and begged her to let me stay, but she told me I had unfinished business. She took me in her hands and somehow I was compressed into a golden egg and when I saw my physical body, she placed the egg on my chest and it sank into my body.

I heard someone say something about me breathing and the next thing I remember is my family visiting me in my room in the hospital.

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The brightness was not just seen with my physical eyes I could feel it. The light penetrated my whole being.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw the radiant sea of light we call God and I swam in it as one with God.

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Attended Catholic school in Holland went to Protestant services on Sundays. Moved to US in 1962 attended several churches, including Science of Mind now called creative living centers. My parents believed in the supernatural and I was born with a cord around my neck. From the time I could talk I spoke of seeing deceased relatives and sometimes predict future events. I believed in heaven and hell, the devil and all that nonsense. I know now there is no hell, and God is not a super sized parent but unconditional love. I have seen God and it is a part of me I am not a separate entity. We are all connected and we are all part of that loving spirit we call God. 
NDERF.org #7291

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Deceased father sends her back to a new life

I lost my father on June 19, 2021. My father was everything to me because I lost my mother when I was 5 years old. I was feeling the greatest pain and despair of my life after I lost him.

July 3, 2021, my husband and I had an argument. I felt that I was tired of living and it was time to do something about it. I took more than 10 pills that would accomplish my goal. My husband forced me to drink a lot of milk to try to make me vomit. At that moment, I felt calm. So, I decided to shower. I started to feel a cold sweat and that my heart wanted to leave my chest. I could not stop talking. Then, I again felt a huge despair and started heavily sweating despite the air conditioning being on. Hours passed as I continued to feel that way. I just thought that the milk had prevented the worst of what those pills could do and that I was feeling the effects of a hangover.

Later that night, we got ready to sleep. I felt my body going numb and I couldn't move. It started in my legs, then it went to my hands. I felt like my eyes were being emptied from the inside. I was trying hard to keep my eyes open, but this was very difficult. I felt my chest tighten every time I tried to breathe. Even my tongue was numb. I was able to tell my husband what was happening to me. He insisted on taking me to the hospital. I felt scared and at the same time, I was at peace with myself. I managed to say goodbye to him and that I loved him very much. I asked him to please take good care of my daughter. I was so afraid for her and kept thinking about her little face.

I saw something white and a lot of light, but thinking about my daughter made me open my eyes again. I saw myself on the bed, next to my husband. I was alive but could also feel the moment when my heart was not beating. I told him, 'I'm going to die.'

It was as if a heavy object had been placed on my eyelids. Although I tried to open my eyes like previously, this time I did not succeed.

I began to see a round, very long, and completely white tunnel. I did not see a light at the end. I looked desperately around me. I wanted to see my husband again and I could only see the face of my 7 year-old daughter. I did not want to find her in such an empty and sad place. I only thought of her and apologized for having given up.

Finally I reached the end of the tunnel. There was a precipice that emptied in the sky. I knew if I left the tunnel, that I would enter heaven. My dad appeared out of nowhere and kissed my forehead. He pushed very hard against my chest. At that moment, I felt my husband's voice desperately screaming at me to wake up. I pretended they were giving me an electroshock. I only remember that I touched it and squeezed it because I did not believe what had happened to me. I told my husband, 'I am here with you. Do you see me?' He started crying and told me that I had stopped breathing and my eyes were blank. He also said that I was very cold.

My body went into shock and with great fear and nervousness, I tried to understand what had happened to me. I then understood that I had died in the arms of my husband and that my father had sent me back to his arms. I was safe and sound, ready to love life enjoy living. At that moment, I no longer remembered anything bad in my life. I don't feel that I am the same person inside my body. Another person was born today, July 4th 2021. I don't remember anything about my previous personality and I feel an indescribable peace.  

NDERT.org # 9234

Friday, October 15, 2021

In NDE speaks to grandmother who raised her

When the doctor told me I was dying. I knew I was terribly sick but the news made me emotionally freeze, followed by fear. My loved ones came to my hospital bedside and said their final goodbyes. My pastor said a final prayer for me. Everyone was leaving my room. My son looked back and said, 'Goodbye mommy, I'll come back to see you tomorrow to brush your hair.' This was so heart wrenching. In my thoughts, I cried out to God to please help me because I did not want to die. I could not stay awake any longer.

Next, I was above my body. I knew that I was dead. It was dark in the room, but I could see light. I was fearful at first, but the closer I got to the light. my feelings started changing. All fear and negativity disappeared. I did not walk into the light, yet it felt like I was being pulled into it; it was like being slowly sucked into the light. This light was so bright, yet it wasn't blinding and it didn't hurt my eyes. The light was soft and comfortable but brighter than looking at the sun.

When I reached the brightest point, I was no longer moving. I was at peace. I felt so many positive and wonderful feelings, such as calmness, peace, joy, love, and trust. In that moment, my experience was orders of magnitude better than any kind of earthly experience. For instance, I consider a mother's joy and love felt from the birth of her child is the best earthly feeling. But this experience makes that appear like a drop of water compared to a vast sea or ocean of this experience. There was no other place I wanted to be.

I could see a white, shadowy, female figure. I heard a voice, but the Male voice did not come from this figure. I was told to go back, all is well. The voice wasn't heard with my ears, but with my mind. I wanted go get closer to them, but couldn't. I knew that this was the boundary. When I refused to come back, the white, shadowy figure came closer to me. I knew this was my grandmother who raised me. She was bathed in soft, bright white light. It looked like cottony-soft clouds, unlike wearing clothes. She told me that it wasn't my time and that I had to return. She didn't say why, but I knew it was because my work on earth wasn't done. My children needed me. This knowledge didn't come from me, it was given to me in that moment. Yet still, I did not want to return.

In one quick movement, I was back in my body. The light was gone, and I woke up in my hospital room as I gasped for air. 

NDERF.org #9218

Thursday, October 14, 2021

"The afterlife is real and God loves us."

During a suicide attempt, I jumped out of a moving car and landed head first on the ground. Then, I was in another state of consciousness. God spoke to me and told me that he and the angels were real, they loved us, and they are a gift from him. God gave me the greatest hug I have ever had. 

After realizing that I had yanked myself out of my body, I went midair and saw my guardian angels on each side. They were about 8 feet 6 inches in height and the wings were about 5 to 6 feet across. They told me how many people I need to help back on earth and to look down at my body being looked at by paramedics. That's when I realized that the afterlife is real and God loves us. God told me before I go back to tell everyone that he loves them. It's that easy. Also, God said he is long suffering and will go to the end of the earth so we can be with him. I my angels told me that I would go back to earth and they were really happy that I chose to go back and do the work that was assigned to me.  

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light.

Did you see an Unearthly light? Yes it was more like a cloud of light. 

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It is hard to explain. All I can say is the feeling is like getting high and every emotion and the eyes are perfect. Everything I saw was more enhanced on the other side.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When God spoke to me. I felt his love and power.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning time does not exist.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated. I am not fond of religion because it confuses the masses regarding which one is the right one. I found out during my NDE that love is the key.  

NDERF.org #8449

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

After NDE affirms, "I am going to serve the Lord"

I flatlined for the 12 minutes that I left my body. I was hovering about 3 feet above my bed and looking at my body.

My wife sitting beside the left side of my bed. A beautiful blue, shimmering light appeared in between us. The blue light communicated with me a profound and powerful sense of love. I quickly ascertained that I was in the presence of the creator of the universe and in the presence of the holy spirit. Initially, I thought it might be God himself, but then realized that God is a person not a blue, shimmering light. After a few minutes, the whole scene just dissipated.

My next conscious thought was 17 days later, when they decided that I was now able to breath on my own.

I was Christian-protestant before this experience. I thought I was a Christian but was not born again. I just went to church.

A few minutes after coming out of my induced coma and waking up, I look to my right and my wife was sitting there holding my hand. The first words out of my mouth were, 'I am going to serve the Lord the rest of my life.' I have no idea where that statement came from. It just came out.

I vividly remember my experience, but I have no recollection of visiting with my sons who came to visit me in the hospital. The experience has had a large impact on my life and I have spent every waking moment since that time serving the Lord.

NDERF.org #9220 

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Shot in the head, sees bright light above him

It was a hot August day, a couple of weeks before school started. I was starting 5th grade at a new Catholic school. My friend at the end of our dead-end dirt road had just been given a pellet rifle for his birthday. He wanted my brothers and I to come see it, but my father had us helping him while he remodeled our furnace room with drywall. We would hand him nails while he hammered on the ladder. I had 4 brothers at the time and each of us took turns running down to our friend's house to see him shoot his gun. It was my turn to go. Then my identical twin brother would go next.

When I got to my friend's house, he was shooting at blue jays in the tree across the field. We were standing on a covered deck and he decided he wanted to play draw. I had a toy pistol and he had the rifle with the safety on. A few minutes later, he took the safety off to shoot at the birds again. He forgot to put the safety lever back on when he turned, aimed the gun at me and said, 'right between the eyes' as he pulled the trigger.

Everything went black. Then I saw bright light above me and I headed towards it. I heard noise below me and realized I was on top of the ceiling of the deck. I turned to look down and saw my body lying on the deck. Then my friend's grandfather walked out and exclaimed, 'Look what you did! You killed him!'

My friend let out a saddened, scared moan and ran off to hide in the creek by the house. I did not think I was dead. I floated back into my body instantly. I said, 'I think the bullet bounced off'. He said he was glad to hear that. Not about the bullet but the fact that I wasn't dead.

I had heard my glasses hitting the deck as I fell. I wore thick frame glasses to correct my vision and my twin did not. The doctors said that is what saved the bullet from going too deep into my brain. It had gone through the frames, through my eye socket, scraped my retina and lodged about an inch into my brain. My friend's grandfather called for an ambulance and it seemed to take a long time. I felt the broken glass from my lens up against my eye. I was afraid to open my eyes because I didn't want to damage them. I felt the dried blood on my face as they brought me on a stretcher down to the ambulance.

They patched me up as best they could and referred me to a hospital where they would perform surgery that night. 
 

NDERF.org 9256

Monday, October 11, 2021

I felt like I belonged there.

The Cardiologist was trying to move a stent that didn't need to be moved and  punctured my heart. I don’t remember much else on earth until I start to woke up in the ICU. The doctors told my family that they would know in twenty-four hours if I live or die.

I do, however, remember what happened when I was out of my body. I saw people dressed in white. I was in a peaceful place and surrounded by green grass with beautiful flowers. To go further, I would need to go through a gate. 

I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. But I was told three times while trying to cross it that it was not my time and I had to go back. I didn’t want to come back though. I felt like I belonged there

When I get ready to go to sleep, I always have a vision of that day. But I’m not afraid.  

NDERF.org #9239

Saturday, October 9, 2021

Childhood experience confirmed by meditation

When I was a child, I went to a snack shop to buy some goodies across the street and was hit by a car.

I was floating in the air as I looked down on my body. I saw people gradually gathering around me. Then I shifted my gaze and looked at my bedroom on the second-floor to the right. I saw my grandmother running down the stairs in panic. I was watching each of her steps clearly while she was running down the stairs. Afterwards, the memories were all broken in pieces. But the time when I was floating above myself was very vivid. I could recalled it at any time, as if I was playing a movie.

Later, I was hit by a car twice in the same location. Luckily, I only had bruises on my body. After the accidents, I read a lot of materials related to the near-death experience. Some of the common themes included entering into the tunnel of light, watching a life review, meeting God or Buddha, and seeing deceased loved ones. However, I emphasize that at first, I did not see the Light. I was a child in grade school. From the material I read, I would see what I believed in. Lastly, I didn't know any relatives who passed away because I was a young child. Maybe there is heaven and maybe I have been there, but I really don't have any memory of heaven.

Two months ago, I was meditating to a point that I was so relaxed to let go. I saw myself come to a huge palace. My body was light, without any weight, as I floated in the air. The ground was golden yellow. When I looked up at the palace, it was towering into the clouds like the Greek white pillars. Then I saw a large library, which was also towering into the sky. The whole experience was short, only a few seconds. I just thought it might have been my own fantasy, but then I read an autobiography of a famous American medium who used her abilities to help patients go back to their past lives and alleviate their pain. There is a chapter about the experience of going to heaven. The description is exactly the same as what I saw. The book says the place is called the 'Temple of Wisdom,' but there is no description of the library. Later, I read the library in heaven mentioned in another post on the internet. I just want to write down my personal experience and share them with the people on this forum. I currently do not have any religious beliefs. 

NDERF.org #16122

Friday, October 8, 2021

The light was my salvation

I suffered a pulmonary embolism. Time stood still. The doctors and nurses trying to save my life seemed familiar; as if they had been longtime friends. 

During my unconsciousness, I had many questions answered in a strange way. I didn't see a tunnel. There was a light that seemed to vibrate and emit a kind of sound. I can't explain this, but the light took my fear away. 

My lung miraculously recovered within 14 days. I believe that the light was my salvation. 

NDERF.org #9259

 
 

Thursday, October 7, 2021

Asked to choose between life or death

At approximately 19:00 I went into full toxic shock and was rushed to the ICU after I called the nurse, and with the last call, was able to tell her that I was losing consciousness. The nurse immediately reacted. Dr Z and her team had to fight to keep me alive. It was like a movie – people shouting your name while running with you on the gurney, almost being rude to keep you awake. Lights flashing past, doors banging open and shut… eventually arriving in the theatre and seeing Dr Z, asking her to please phone Karl to tell him what was happening. Her response was: 'I can’t phone him now; I am saving your life.'

I could hear the urgency in her voice; we’ve known each other for years and she is not the kind of person to easily panic. I knew better than to argue with her.

I could feel myself flailing, going in and out of consciousness. Suddenly everything went quiet (what a relief!), I couldn’t hear anyone anymore and I couldn’t see anything to do with my physical surroundings. The pain and sickliness were gone, nothing hurt anymore.

I became aware of a Presence by my right shoulder, slightly towards the back, just out of view. In front of me was a soft pink glow, surrounded by even-softer green light. I was curious to see what it was, but I was asked by the Presence what I wanted to do: did I want to leave (earth) or did I want to stay (with my family on earth).

No words were spoken, it was just like an understanding; comprehending intelligence on another level. I didn’t want to be rude and not reply but I got a very strong feeling that if I didn’t choose soon, it would be too late. I thought about my two daughters (then aged 3 and 4 weeks) and my husband and decided to stay with them.

As soon as I made that decision, I started hearing everything again, feeling how sick my body was… Dr Z was standing to my right and demanded that I lie completely still – she had to insert a central venous catheter (CVP line) just below my clavicle – there’s a main artery that runs straight into the heart and this was our last resort – no anesthetic. A specialist was holding my left arm and a nurse was holding my right arm; if I moved Dr Z might punch a hole in my lung and then we have another problem. So I lay as still as I could and felt how the thick pipe wormed its way through my chest – straight into my heart. The next moment Dr Z released all the connections on the line and a rush of intravenous medicines pumped through my body. That felt quite good.

I was finally stabilizing but kept in the ICU.  

NDERF.org #9281

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

In car crash saw bright light and had life review

On 4/9/1979, I was 19 years old. My friend and I drove to Las Vegas from California to see Alice Cooper in concert. On the way home we were both drunk and stoned. We were getting on the freeway when the driver turn the wheel too sharply, causing us to roll down an embankment that was over 40 ft tall. The car rolled over at least 5 times. Back in 1979 there were no seat belts in the car. The car door opened, and I flew out of the car. My back was broken in three places.

I blacked out when we started to roll down the embankment. I remember walking towards a bright light. I saw my life review which was so peaceful. All of a sudden, I heard a voice saying that it was not my time. I felt as if I was on cloud 9, so when I got back into my body, I woke up and yelled for my friend. He did not answer, so I thought he died. When my soul came back into my body, I felt complete numbness from my waist down.

At the time, I did not know I broke my back. It was about 1:00am and about 10 minutes after I woke up, I saw red lights coming for me down the cliff. Since there were no cellphones back then, I have no idea who called them and how they find me. I never believed in the afterlife at age 19, but after what I experience, I truly know now that there is a heaven after seeing my life review and felt so at peaceful and warm. 

NDERF.org #9262

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Spoke with Jesus during her NDE

I remember when going under for open heart surgery. I saw the doctors working on me and then losing me. My soul went into a white tunnel as I was guided by angels. There were SO many beautiful and BRIGHT colors that we don’t have on Earth. I remember being welcomed and having an overwhelming sense of comfort and Happiness. Everything was perfect. We didn't need to breathe, eat or sleep. There was no pain. All I needed to do was to be in the moment with a higher being. I met Jesus and he spoke to me. I asked him if I could stay because I felt so happy and loved being in that perfect place. He told me that it wasn’t my time yet; that I had a purpose. I begged and asked to stay. I told him that the world was evil and cruel. Again, he told me 'not yet'. I made it back to myself and woke up intubated. 

NDERF.org #9267

Monday, October 4, 2021

Extraordinary knowing by her grandmother

EMMA LOUISE
(BORN 1849, DIED 1933)

As told by granddaughter Janice B. (1884 NDE as related by two relatives)

The setting for these events is 1884. My grandmother lived with her family in a large home in Greenville, Michigan. She was the mother of four living children ranging in age from ten to an infant. My grandfather was a family doctor.

I will tell her story of a near death experience as I remember it being told to me many years ago.

My grandmother was seriously ill. An upstairs room on the third floor of the home was set aside as sickroom for her, away from the hubbub of her active children. A "hired girl" cared for the children and took care of running the household while grandmother was sick. During this period of time my grandmother seemed to have an uncanny knowledge of what was happening in the household and in the neighborhood, although no one was providing her the information nor could she hear what was happening on the floors below. The only example of this that I can recount is, for instance, she said, "A neighbor has brought over some freshly-chummed butter and left it at the back door. Will you, please, bring it in." There was no way she could have seen or heard this happening. I was told there were many other such instances.

There came a time when she became increasingly ill. My grandfather brought in a medical colleague for consultation. While they were with her she ceased to breathe and neither my grandfather not his colleague could feel a pulse. They declared her dead but my grandfather was not one to give up easily. He rigged up a battery to give a shock to her heart. She began to breathe again and lived another fifty years.

She recounted a most remarkable experience during this period of time after being declared “dead." She felt as though she were taking a gentle journey down a river. She heard beautiful music. She felt a degree of peace and joy such as she had never experienced before. She believed she was in heaven and recognized that she had died. While this was going on she began to have conflicting thoughts-I must go back, my children need me vs. I can't leave this contentment and beauty. This internal struggle went on for some time. Then she awakened and recovered her health, living a full and satisfying life, and seeing her children all grow up and have successful lives of their own.

Sunday, October 3, 2021

Welcomed by a collective consciousness

I had a tonsillectomy and all went well until discharge, when I was given an injection of sulphur. I have no recall of any of this until I reacted about 15 minutes later in the car on the way home. I remember being sick on my mother’s lap and seeing the skin reaction. Next recall is sitting in the wall of the emergency section of the hospital and watching the events separate from myself.

The time seemed inconsequential and I was uninterested until a separate space opened in the room and I left. After a hazy journey (seemingly short), I was enveloped in light and exquisite and infinite love. By now, I recall this as an ageless soul. I felt, as best as I can describe, in a state of total bliss. Once again, there is no language to convey feelings. There seemed to be a collective consciousness who welcomed me, but at the same time conveyed the knowledge that I was the one responsible for the decision to stay or go back. 

I recall these decisions not as a small child but a person with accumulated knowledge to evaluate the choice and make a decision. The decision to return was based on the knowledge that I was not finished in my life and there were things to accomplish and fulfill. There was no distress at the thought of return and, once the decision was made, there was no more recall.

These experiences have stayed crystal clear and as fresh as when they occurred.

NDERF.org #184

 

Gödel's reasons for an afterlife

Alexander T. Englert, “We'll meet again,” Aeon , Jan 2, 2024, https://aeon.co/essays/kurt-godel-his-mother-and-the-a...